AIBU to report myself to social services for help?

[Username1995]

NC for this.

I almost lost my life a couple of months ago and it has taken it's toll on my already fragile mental health, culminating in a breakdown. I've been diagnosed with PTSD.

I have an almost two year old and a very young baby and I'm struggling to make it through the days when dad is at work, I'm terrified of being alone indoors and won't go out alone with the DC either. I have one relative who supports now and then but is unreliable and very flaky.

Health visitor isn't too bothered, echoed to chat to the GP which I have.

Doctor has prescribed sertraline but warned it's likely to make me worse before I get better, so for that reason I don't feel able to start the course being in sole care of two very young children. For people who are not SAHM's and in work the general advice is to book the week off while adjusting to the AD's, but I can't do that with children. I am waiting for counselling.

I'm on the verge of calling social services and telling them I can't cope and need some support. But is that a bad idea? I know of some horror stories where they're concerned, including my own experiences previous.

I've been perched on the sofa since 9am like a nervous wreck. DH is sympathetic but doesn't feel able to take time off work.

WWYD?

I guess the doctor might have mentioned that you should avoid St John's wort while on Sertraline?

I was on a different SSRI, citalopram, but it helped hugely. Now I'm off it, I still reap the benefits, as I was able to think more clearly and non-anxiously while taking it, and some of those thought patterns have stuck. Are you on any other kind of therapy; talking therapy, CBT? A combination is great.

I am a social worker and we wouldn’t get involved with your family because (from what you have said) your children are not at risk of harm. That doesn’t mean you don’t need support though. It may be worth googling whether there is an early help service in your area. They are usually the tier below social services involvement and can be very helpful. Your health visitor should know how to refer.

That sounds so promising namechangeeeeeee I would absolutely love for my experience of them to be the same. I just know I would be over the moon the second I noticed an improvement.

My plan of action is to take the first one tomorrow evening, coupled with my sominex so it doesn't disrupt my sleep. If I feel a bit spacey and tired I can ride it out by having a lazy weekend with DH taking the reigns with the children.

It seems so obviously the right thing to do to start taking them and I'm annoyed with myself for not doing it sooner. I guess that's the problem with anxiety though it makes you frightened of everything.

I’ve just had my Venlafaxine upped to 187.5mg @TheInebriati from 150mg to see if that’s any use to me (Major trauma triggered) as the emergency GP I saw last week gave me a fortnights worth of Diazepam, but my usual GP won’t give me any more. This is along side Amytriptylene and Propanolol. Has the Venla worked well for your trauma, then, in terms of anxiety? As that’s the element of mine that’s running riot at the moment.

OP - do take them, and do keep posting on here. If you can speak to anyone in RL, do that too. Talking therapy is another option, if you’re up to it, trauma is a tricky beast and sometimes to survive we have to push it down because saying it out loud and discussing what happened makes us feel even worse.

HarperIsBazaar bless your son it's brilliant that they've given him his life back. I feel so sorry for children who struggle in that way. It's great that he's well again

I've got a debrief at the hospital at the end of the month to discuss what happened and how I felt uninformed throughout my treatment, not a good experience as a patient at all, then I have CBT coming up afterwards. Both of these things will require me to talk in depth about my trauma and I'm not sure whether that'll be beneficial for the PTSD or counter productive but we'll see.

I also think the sooner my immune system picks up and I stop feeling so crappy that will help my mental health as alot of my anxiety and all of my trauma is health related.

Hi OP pleased to see you are not still thinking of calling SS, there are some other places you can try first which would be much more help:

Family Lives Helpline: 0808 800 2222

familylives.org.uk

and I see home start has already been recommended:

home-start.org.uk

If you do need to see someone for PTSD try an EMDR therapist I had this treatment and it was life saving, I got mine on NHS:

emdrassociation.org.uk

Also second finding the Early Help service in your area, if there is one - google early help and then your area or local authority name.

You sound like you are doing the very best you can, seeking help is the most important thing and you have already done that.

Whilst you are clearly depressed the main issue here is the anxiety. Please go back to the GP ASAP and explain how unwell it is making you feel. I couldn't speak for crying when I went to the GP and she immediately prescribed propranolol, trazadone and citalopram. Propranolol is a beta blocker designed for heart patients. It slows heart rate and reduces a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety. Trazadone is an anti psychotic but don't be put off by that. It was to help me sleep. I eventually changed to sertraline and had no effects at all.
I had extensive hospital therapy but this combined with those medications means that my anxiety is now 90% gone and I can now tackle my low mood.
A key thing my psychologist got me to do when I was panicking was to identify how I felt, was the emotion/fear proportionate or correct and then re lable it and use a strategy to help. Also give a liklihood %.
Example : don't want to leave the house because I'm anxious and my IBS will kick off in public and I'll need to go to the toilet.
80% likely so okay to feel like this.
Strategy: script "everyone uses the toilet. Never have to see people again. Normal." identify toilet locations before going.

I hope that makes sense??

Also a lot of my anxiety was related to control/things outwith my control - bodily functions, other people's thoughts, behaviour of others. It's not been easy but I can honestly say that I have now accepted that I can't control these things!
PND escalated this massively. Turns out you can't really predict/control those pesky little humans! 😩

Just read all of this thread, I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. I'm also crippled with anxiety at the moment and the GP has kept offering meds but like you, I've been too scared to take any (apart from propranolol but I know they're not really the same) - so reading other people's experiences on here has also helped me, I may be brave and give them a try.

I think starting them tonight/tomorrow is a good idea. I really hope that they help improve things for you, anxiety is terrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but things will get better. I'll be thinking of you, please do keep us updated xx

If you start tomorrow then any symptoms will begin at the weekend when your DP is around. If they are severe, you'll know you need some help for a few days until they clear. Or you could try a different SSRI. I couldn't tolerate Sertraline but found Citalopram really helpful. It gave me a very cosy glow which was just what I needed for looking after small children.

xx

Take the sertraline. I avoided it for months and wish I’d started them sooner. I finally have anxiety under control. I’m a single parent and found the first few weeks adjusting to the meds tough but it did get better. It’s absolutely worth it in the long term.

Could you take your first one tonight, to get ahead of the game?

Also, could you summons together all your energy and courage and get out to a baby group of some kind, any kind? You may just find that leads to some support, either professional or through other mums. I know in my area mums all look out for each other and just knowing there's other mums around helps so much.

mckerl I actually have proparonol (sp?) here too, I had it prescribed it to me at the same time I was given promazethine (8 weeks ago) as a very short term as and when needed thing. I do think they're helpful when I'm in peak anxiety attack but I can't generally take them during the day when DH is at work as I almost always fall asleep within the hour. Not sure whether that's common or just how my body responds to them?

Cooloncraze
growlingbear

What did you ladiesfind difficult about sertraline in the beginning/when you had them, was it a further decline in MH or something else with as appetite or sleep being effected?

chocolateandpinkgin I'm sorry you're in the same position. I always urge anybody else to bite the bullet and go for it with Ad's but do struggle to take my own advice. Would you mind updating with how you get on with them if you do? I've found the input from others here to be golden IRT anti-Ds and it's really giving me the push I need to take them.

I'm all psyched up to start the course tomorrow so willing myself not to chicken out again.

Desmondo2016 I could yes as DH is off work tomorrow, there's nothing stopping me other than me iykwim.

I'd love to attend some babygroups but aside my MH I'm not well at all at the minute. I'm ran down and because of that i keep getting back to back bugs and viral infections and for the past couple of days I've got what feels like tonsilitis.

If I felt healthier and up to going out and being active i absolutely think that would help the mental health side of things.

Start taking medication beginning of week maybe then by time your at worst (your dh will be at home with you,to support you). I also take mine at night as the side effects of nausea etc that you get when you start were easier to cop with when I didn't have 3 kids to see to on top of feeling physically ill.
Also could you look at applying for personal independence payment this could help financially and mean you could use the money to get extra help to support you at home or childcare to give you a rest.
Go back to your GP they may chase psychology services up for you too. Is there another health visitor attached to your surgery ? Could you speak to them? I'd say social services is a last resort go down other avenue's first if you can.

DH just called on his break to ask how me and the DC are doing, I told him they're fine but me not so much. He couldn't get off the phone quick enough "Oh ok well I thought I'd just check. I'll see you later"

I expect he was hoping to hear I'd suddenly turned a corner and am feeling much better

I feel like a bloody burden and even he's getting sick of me.

I don't want to derail the topic of the thread by me turning it into bashing DH, but does anybody else think it's slightly shit that he's not more concerned about leaving his postnatal wife alone and responsibile for a toddler and newborn whilst having a nervous breakdown.

Maybe I'm demonizing him unnessicarily because I'm subconsciously resentful that life goes on as normal for him whilst I'm a mess, I just think if the shoe were on the other foot I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him to look after the children unsupported in the middle of a MH crisis.

Now obviously the children are not at risk of being harmed and he knows that, but when he left for work this morning I was staring off into space and silently crying. Would you leave your DH with the children in that state? I don't think I would.

The lowest starting dose is 50mg. The maximum daily dose is 200mg so start off on 50mg. It'll be fine op. Would definitely recommend taking it in the morning though. I was on 200mg for a few years and it really helped

You're caring full-time for the children despite being unwell. That's providing a great service, i.e. the opposite of being a burden.

I should think he simply has no idea what to say in response? "Hope you feel better soon" (the usual answer to illness) wouldn't exactly fit either. Maybe he needs pointing out that commiseration and "take care" are the approach he should take? Is this the first time you've been in a challlenging position like this where one of you is unwell?

@Username1995 Mine wouldn’t, no, but only because he has experienced/still experiences this himself and knows exactly how it feels But ExDP, he would have. He still doesn’t understand anything to do with MH.

I take 40mg of Propanolol twice a day, it really does help. I’ve been on it for 6 years now. I have depression too but it’s anxiety that absolutely wrecking balls my life and my ability to Do Things.

Hi op
I couldn't read and run first thing is first well done. You have accepted there's a problem which makes u an amazing mum.
I had my baby girl 19 months ago emergency c section I aspirated on my own sick (Sorry tmi) and was in the ward after suddenly couldn't stop coughing and I lost memories I was transferred to itu ward and put on oxygen and lots of meds It was pneumonia. After a week in hospital I got home and I broke completely I was put on mirtazapine as I wasn't sleeping so husband did all the nights. Then I was referred to mimhs who wanted me to go in a mother and baby unit but I held out. 3 weeks later I started to feel better still felt wobbly but the meds helped. I also had the crisis team.
Take the meds you will feel better and we are always here to talk to you.

I had absolutely no problems with starting sertraline after dd was born. It was like a miracle pill for me. My anxiety got so much better within a matter of days. It took time to get the full effect, but the lessening that happened quickly was such an incredible relief.

I was scared too, but I’m so glad I took control of my life and took that medication.

If you are concerned, take the first dose on Friday. If things don’t go well, your DH can always call in sick on Monday, but you will likely be just fine.

Kko1986 that sounds so frightening I'm sorry you had such an awful start to your daughters life Nobody mentioned a mother and baby unit to me but I don't think it would have been possible anyway, there's no way DH would have taken any longer off work to look after the eldest.

Really glad to see more good accounts on sertraline!

I need to get my backside from the sofa and get the children ready to go down the shops to get groceries and I really really don't want to go out of the house

On a more optimistic note I've decided I'm definitely going to take the sertraline first thing tomorrow morning and there's no talking myself out of it this time. It needs to be done. It will be done.