AIBU to report myself to social services for help?

[Username1995]

NC for this.

I almost lost my life a couple of months ago and it has taken it's toll on my already fragile mental health, culminating in a breakdown. I've been diagnosed with PTSD.

I have an almost two year old and a very young baby and I'm struggling to make it through the days when dad is at work, I'm terrified of being alone indoors and won't go out alone with the DC either. I have one relative who supports now and then but is unreliable and very flaky.

Health visitor isn't too bothered, echoed to chat to the GP which I have.

Doctor has prescribed sertraline but warned it's likely to make me worse before I get better, so for that reason I don't feel able to start the course being in sole care of two very young children. For people who are not SAHM's and in work the general advice is to book the week off while adjusting to the AD's, but I can't do that with children. I am waiting for counselling.

I'm on the verge of calling social services and telling them I can't cope and need some support. But is that a bad idea? I know of some horror stories where they're concerned, including my own experiences previous.

I've been perched on the sofa since 9am like a nervous wreck. DH is sympathetic but doesn't feel able to take time off work.

WWYD?

I hope you're much better now elliejjtiny

I was exactly the same in hospital, very tearful and panicky. It was written in my notes and I was put in for enhanced 28 day midwife visits but only saw them twice before they discharged us.

ZillaPilla Its what my GP told me she recommends when prescribing AD's to first time users in crisis.

HavelockVetinari I've felt like saying the same to be honest. He's done alot in the period since baby was born with juggling older DC and youngest DC in the hospital, looking after me and running the house, but I'm still not where I need to be and I think he's enjoying being back at work.

abcyz
IDontGiveABagOfDicks
mynameiscalypso

Thank you, I'm going to push myself to do what needs to be done and take the tablets. I'm not helping myself at all am I. I thought I was being proactive seeking help and I have done, but it's pointless If I don't take the medication.

I've actually been waiting for my CBT appointment telling myself that'll be the magic fix I need and then I won't need to bother with the tablets, but it's not seeming that easy.

MRex I'm not part of any church groups at the moment but that's not a bad idea. I will have a look online and see what's available, although part of the problem is me actually being able to force myself out of the house to go anywhere by myself

Apologies if I've missed any replies my mobile is very slow and laggy

Your say DH is off work Fri to Mon, so please start the meds asap - either Thursday night or Friday morning. Explain to him you'll need extra support this weekend.

You poor thing, but ADs really will help. Not everyone has the side effects, but you are very sensible thinking about how best to organise it so that the children are properly cared for. You sound like a very conscientious mum.

Some options might be:

• ask a neighbour or relative to come and stay or make daily visits, or arrange for visits every day by different people
• maybe dh could at least come home early or start late for a week?
• have phone number of Samaritans etc. at hand and don't hesitate to call
• organise a doctor's appointment that week
• ask doctor for some sleeping tablets for that week so that you are well rested
• arrange to do things that are nice e.g. get some really nice films lined up, plan a few takeaways / M&S favourites, get your hair cut
• cancel/avoid anything stressful, e.g. no long car trips with the kids if that usually makes you stressed
• make it an official Lazy Week where you are not going to do any housework and are allowed to sit in your pyjamas all day eating ice cream without feeling guilty

My friend had a very near breakdown earlier this year and she was given sertraline. She is totally back to herself, I think she adjusted very quickly to them and felt much better within two weeks and improved not from there. Start taking them op.

I didn't expect so many people to reply thank you so much for being kind

GP prescribed sleeping aids immediately after discharge from hospital but was adamant she didn't want me on them long term. I'm taking over the counter supplements now because i can't sleep at all unless I have something to help me.

Googling Home start now by the way

Well done for posting, you are showing courage and strength. You are not just allowing things to overwhelm but you are asking for help and support. You are striving to achieve and overcome this.

You have medication and you are waiting for counselling, both of these are good things.

The medication when you start it will make you feel a little unwell, lack of appetite. You may get an increase to your anxiety, I remember waking up in a panic and taking some time to calm down when I first started, but it was over within about a week. Subsequent increases have not given me side effects. I am curious as to the dose you have been started on, but you don't need to share.

The sooner you start, the sooner you will get the benefits of the medication. It might also be worth speaking to a different GP or the same one if you trust them, and ask about Propanalol, this can be very effective in controlling the symptoms of anxiety.

Consider this, the HV and GP have both seen you, if they were concerned about your children in any way they would tell you that you DH Must be off while you start these tablets and they would refer you to Social Care themselves.

Everything you are experiencing is a symptom of this illness, that does not mean it is not real, but you can notice the feeling and go yet I'm worried, that is because of the anxiety cloud, then decide if it is a real worry or a potential worry. From there you can either act or go yep this is just a symptom, there are no tigers here. This technique just adds a little distance to the thought or feeling.

The brain is amazing but it doesn't always get things right, but it is still trying to protect us and ensure our survival. When it gets used to using the anxiety pathways, it keeps using them and it can take time to teach it, yes that kept me safe when there was a danger but I am safe now and it is a less helpful response.

You are here, you are fighting, you will overcome this. Consider what you would say to a friend in this situation. Mental illness is a real thing, it impacts not just your head and brain but in your heart and gut as well, it can affect you physically as well as your thoughts and feelings. Consider if you had a migraine, or an injury, you wouldn't delay taking the tablets or treatment, doing so can make it worse.

Keep posting, you have more strength than you realise because you are asking for help and still striving.

There is too much scare mongering about taking ADs in the media, you never hear about the tens of thousands of folk taking them with the normal boring side effects. With me it was nausea, well holy smoke pregnancy nausea was worse.

@IDontGiveABagOfDicks it's fucking hard. I can feel myself slipping again at the moment too - having to make a conscious effort to get dressed and get out.
I could quite happily sit indoors all day.

Take care of yourself.

OP when I started AD's the GP prescribed diazepam to get me over that horrible initial feeling of the AD's.

As it was, it felt quite like being on ecstacy and I enjoyed feeling that rather than the horrific grief and pain I was feeling. So for me I quite like the side effects.

OP I don't have time to read the whole thread but just to say - please take the sertraline. I had PND and wish I had taken a proper dose at the time, but like you I was hesitant.

I've taken it since and I honestly feel SOOOO much better. It's made me calmer, more capable of cracking on and a much better mother. Other things that make me happier are podcasts - really helps me feel positive and hopeful and make plans for the future.

And like PP i had no symptoms when going on it other than a very slightly dodgy tummy for a couple of days (just take a graduated dose at first)

PM me if you want any advice etc xx)

to those of you also going through a shit time of it.

My prescription is 50mg sertraline, so quite a low dose to start with. It has been sat in my cupboard for 4 weeks now untouched. I've had a few "glimmer of hope" days where I think I've got this, but the dark cloud always comes back the next day.

What do people think IRT me breaking the tablets in half for the first week, so 25mg per day until my body gets used to the chemicals and then upping to the 50? IDK whether that would render it such a low dose it would be essentially pointless though?

When you say supplements do you mean valerian or something else herbal? They usually only work once you've taken them ages, and even then the OTC packages are usually in very low doses. I read something that said most of the available dosages are far too low.
Or do you mean anti-histamine-based ones?

I should think your GP was worried about you taking strong sleeping tablets and relying on them, but if you know it is just for a week during which you're likely to be extra anxious and sleeping worse, then that's something different. Maybe approach it in that way. Remember that you're feeling anxious and negative now, so you're probably assuming s/he'll say no through those depression-tinted glasses.

OP you are doing a fantastic job with your children. Look at it this way, you've suffered trauma and having to deal with the mental implications of this, plus you are feeding, bathing and loving your children. At the moment that's all they need.

Take your medication and focus one day at a time, doing what your doing. Plenty of time to get out and about when you're ready. No rush.

You will start to feel better each day bit by bit. I was on Sertraline and had very little side effects to begin with but they were not worse than how I was feeling before I started taking them.

And there's always this thread to come to anytime you need for support

If you are considering any changes to the dosage, always ask the doctor. You don't know how they work. AFAIK, the starting dosage makes no difference to the initial side effects.

To be honest (tmi risk sorry!) I've had a dodgy stomach and BM's ever since I gave birth so I don't think AD's would make too much of a difference in that respect

Username1995 I was exactly where you are and for the same reason, Sertraline wasnt strong enough for me and I was give Venlafaxine instead. Its very good for anxiety and PTSD.

I'm so glad I posted this, I've no prior experience of sertraline so hearing from others who can testify to it's benefits and reassure me about the side effects is golden.

I was prescribed promethazine hydrocloride from the GP for sleep (with an added benefit of it being good for anxiety I'm told). I was taking that for 6 weeks but doctor wasn't keen to re prescribe. It's an antihistamine so not addictive AFAIK.

I'm now taking sominex over the counter which is exactly the same brand of antihistamine by the looks of it, so I don't know why the GP wasn't keen on re perscribing. Perhaps she felt it wouldn't be effective long term.

I do sleep better on them though, whether that's a placebo or not I can't tell.

I'm sorry to hear that TheInebriati it is hard isn't it. Are you well now?

I haven't heard of that med before, the thought of anything stronger than sertraline scares me which is daft as I haven't even tried that yet. I think PTSD aside I'm a bit of a baby in general

I would hope that they can help but I'm not sure what they can do - is nursery an option for at least the 2 year old? Perhaps there's discretionary funding available. There's mother and baby units that could be the answer for you and your baby (but they don't accept toddlers) . I hope calling them you can get some help

Are you being fast tracked for cbt given how recently you had the baby? I don’t know if it works differently in different areas but I was fast tracked and had my first cbt session 2 weeks after I was referred. I had ptsd from birth trauma with my first. I was in a terrible place and cbt helped me make a full recovery. I was stubborn and refused to take antidepressants which I think would have helped me get better quicker.

I hope you start to feel better soon. It’s a horrible thing to go through but you can get better with the right help. Your children won’t remember this and you sound like you are doing an amazing job with them which is so hard when you are feeling the way you are right now

Thank you so much koolaider and others for the support and hand holding. It's been a lonely few months and it does help to be able to offload anonymously without the worry of making a fool of myself.

I haven't spoken to many RL friends about all of this, bar one who also went through a near death experience last year so understands where I'm coming from. I do worry that if I were open with most of the people I know they'd think I'm a bit mad.

I started sertraline on a couple of days ago. They helped me almost immediately, I went from a crying anxious wreck to unusually calm and collected within hours. The second day I did feel very spaced out and tired but I think that's because I took the first one in the afternoon and the next day I wanted to take it in the morning so maybe too much too soon. Today I've took it this afternoon and tomorrow will take it in the evening and then continue taking them in the evenings. I've found that they're already helping me, I don't feel like my anxiety/depression has increased much if at all, I've lost my appetite and have had slight nausea but I'm persevering with it.

You could try starting it Friday evening? Then you'll sleep through the spacey feeling and have your DH there to help you.

Hi Minai yep I'm being fast tracked for therapy because I'm postnatal. In my area the average wait is 6+ months but I'm told ill be waiting no more than 6 weeks from my initial consultation (that was last week)

I referred myself as the midwife and HV felt that was the quickest way to proceed, for me to seek the therapy myself. I'm dubious, but then I have a sceptical outlook at the moment as i don't feel particularly supported by health professionals in general surrounding the birth trauma.

And also, I know how it feels to keep putting it off. I've been putting this off for two years ending in a panic attack and feeling completely unstable, hence urgent visit to GP and prescription for sertraline. Just do it.

I echo what others have said and would advise you to start taking the medication as soon as. I had no side affects on them at all, but if you are one of the few that do please do persevere with them until you feel better and most importantly keep talking-even if it is only to a bunch of strangers on the internet. We're all rooting for you OP