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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve just met a really rude person?

79 replies

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 12:09

I took DS to the park today, with a change of clothes as it was due to rain and there’s a sandpit there which he loves. We had brought some sandpit toys too.

Got there and were happily playing (there’s no toys as such in the sandpit bit except what you bring yourself) and a little girl about the same age as DS (2) came over and tried to take his sandpit toys off him. I explained that they were his but we’d happily share the other sandpit toys we’d brought, so gave her a couple of bits to play with. Her mum came over and we chatted whilst watching the kids play; I tend to keep a close eye on DS as he’s only 2 and I worry about him running off, falling etc. He decided he wanted to play at the other side of the park so I got up to go with him and the lady laughed and said ‘leave him to play himself, you’re being too overprotective, he’ll be fine’. I laughed but explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing that and went with him. Her DD kept playing in the sandpit with our toys (again, happy with that as DS had lost interest in them).

After a while she came over and joined us again, made small talk- we had been talking about struggling with kids and I mentioned I’d had post natal depression when DS was born and she said how did you know? I said I’d spent a lot of time crying and feeling overwhelmed and she LAUGHED and said you actually just sat there and cried all day? I got a bit defensive at this and changed the subject; she asked me what I did and I told her (office job, nothing overly interesting) and she said that was ‘boring’ and she could never do anything like that. At this point I was getting a bit annoyed so started moving away with DS but she kept talking!

I was wearing harem pants and a hoodie and she said ‘don’t you ever wear makeup?’ I said no not really, I would like to start wearing a bit but other things seem to get in the way and I run out of time in the morning. She told me she always makes the effort to wear makeup for her DH. fine, each to their own. She then said ‘I bet you always wear joggers and scruffy clothes don’t you?’ I’d genuinely had enough at this point so picked up DS as it had started raining and said we were going to head off. She then told me I needed to make sure I dressed nicely and wore makeup otherwise ‘your husband will end up cheating on you, you don’t know what he does at work all day’. Er, if he’s going to cheat on me then he’s not the kind of man I want to be with! Her final comment was ‘by the way, your toys are in that sandpit over there somewhere’ (which is a REALLY big sandpit) at which point I just went to get them and then left.

AIBU or have I just met one of the rudest people ever?!

OP posts:
GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 12:09

Oops sorry didn’t realise how long that was!

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 11/07/2019 12:12

Sounds very bizarre! Almost as if she was trying to imply something Hmm

Butchyrestingface · 11/07/2019 12:12

Yes, very rude. But just think, you can run away from her. She can’t run away from herself. Smile

colourlessgreenidea · 11/07/2019 12:13

She told me she always makes the effort to wear makeup for her DH

On the basis of that alone, the obvious deduction is that nothing that comes out of her mouth has any merit or meaning whatsoever.

How did you manage not to outright laugh in her face? Confused

MsTSwift · 11/07/2019 12:13

Less rude more mean and quite thick.

PooWillyBumBum · 11/07/2019 12:16

Rude and insecure

SagAloojah · 11/07/2019 12:16

I love that you asked her nothing about herself. She’s not worth knowing and yes, was very rude. Probably has self-esteem issues and was trying to make herself feel better by listing your ‘faults’. Maybe her husband is cheating on her.

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 12:28

Butchyrestingface I did think that, as I was trying (very hard) to bite my tongue.

colourlessgreenidea I’ve struggled to make mum friends because I moved to be with my DH just before DS was born, so I tend to probably be a bit optimistic when speaking to people, but I think about 2 sentences in I realised I wouldn’t want to be friends with her if she was the last woman on earth.

One thing did make me laugh- after she told me I was being ‘overprotective’ to my ‘sensitive’ by keeping an eye on him, she couldn’t find her daughter. One of the reasons I was keeping such a close eye on his (besides him being 2 of course) was there were about 50 kids on a school trip in the park so it was much busier than usual, so much easier to lose sight of DS.

Thank you all for making me feel slightly less confused about if I imagined her rudeness or if she was actually just that rude!

OP posts:
ControversialFerret · 11/07/2019 12:29

One polite response: Please don't project your own issues on to me. I have to go now.

RaininSummer · 11/07/2019 12:33

She sounds very rude and tbh an absolute bitch as she was obviously trying to make you feel crap about yourself. Horrible witch - don't give her another thought. She;s also pretty shallow with her man pleasing attitudes.

alligatorsmile · 11/07/2019 12:37

She sounds nuts.

Siameasy · 11/07/2019 12:39

Weird and possibly lacking somewhat upstairs - sounds extremely immature

Jemima232 · 11/07/2019 12:45

She wears make-up for her DH?

WTF?

She sounds batshit, OP, as well as very rude. And making nasty remarks about your PND and laughing at you was cruel and insensitive.

Sorry you had to endure that.

Karma will get her.

Zaphodsotherhead · 11/07/2019 12:47

She sounds hugely socially unaware. I know a few people who would talk like this, but all of them have various MH issues - they might see it as their duty to 'advise' someone how to dress and what makeup to wear.

Either that or she really was just a rude twunt. I wouldn't worry, OP, unless you keep running into her at the park!

TheGrapefulDread · 11/07/2019 12:53

Do you live in Stepford ? Did she give you a list of words to say into her mobile phone record App ? If not carry on as normal !

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/07/2019 12:56

Very very rude and un self aware. I think her mental health issues are worse than yours.

CatG85 · 11/07/2019 12:56

Absolute props to you for being so calm and not saying to her face how rude she was and to go forth and multiply!! I don't think I would have had as much self control to not tell her about herself.

Why should you wear anything other than comfy clothes to take your DS to the park? and why would it require make up? I'm due my 1st DC in 2 months and am not expecting to get my make up bag out that regularly lol

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/07/2019 12:56

Sorry didn’t mean to sound like that was belittling your struggles either.

Cryalot2 · 11/07/2019 12:58

Sadly the world is full of rude people.
Chances are her kid/kids will be like her and be devoid of manners.
Flowers .Hoping you feel better, don't let her stop you going there. Just be yourself.
I wear make up every day but its because of my crap skin .i also dress smartish , only because i am older and i have always been like this. Its not for anyone else unless you count my late gran whom i admired and take after.
This woman is insecure and a very rude fruit loop.

Loveislandaddict · 11/07/2019 12:58

She was very rude and insecure, and sounds like she has stepped out of the 1950s. Ie. Dressing up and wearing make-up for your dh.

BlueMerchant · 11/07/2019 12:59

Urgh. One to avoid in future.
Sounds like she's very insecure and not very bright.

Loveislandaddict · 11/07/2019 13:00

Also, she definantly doesn’t understand post-natal depression. Hope you are okay.

MWalter · 11/07/2019 13:00

The lady you met sounds very rude and a bit of an idiot. Don't take it personally - she's obviously got some kind of chip on her shoulder.

Pinktinker · 11/07/2019 13:05

Beyond rude and actually quite shocking. Who speaks to anyone this way, let alone a stranger? What a horrible person, I bet she was the bully in school too and has never quite grown up. Who wears make up so their DH doesn’t cheat, it’s not the 1950s...

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 13:07

Mummyoflittledragon it’s okay I know what you meant Smile

The postnatal depression comment bothered me more than the rest in a way, because at the time I felt like no one else spoke about it and felt like I was the only person in the world who had it. When I did mention it to people, i found that they had had it, or knew someone who had had it, so now I make a point that if it comes up in conversation, I’m relatively open about it. I’d hate to think someone was bottling it up, scared to say anything because of the stigma that can sometimes be associated with it.

She followed me to spoke to me 3 times in total after I was actively trying to avoid her and all 3 times called me a name that is NOTHING like what mine actually is lol- she didn’t even say ‘I’m really sorry, your name has slipped my mind’, just called me whatever she felt like Shock

Oh and one thing I’ve missed out- when she asked me who had DS whilst I was at work and I told her he was at nursery/with my in laws, I was told in no uncertain terms that she’s heard horror stories about kids in nurseries and that she’d never trust her children in a nursery. She loves them so much that she became a SAHM so they didn’t have to endure the horrors of going to nursery (the second half of that sentence is slightly exaggerated but you get the jist of it!). Nursery has done wonders for my DS who used to be really really shy and has now come on in leaps and bounds and loves it there. We all do what works for us as a family!

OP posts: