Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve just met a really rude person?

79 replies

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 12:09

I took DS to the park today, with a change of clothes as it was due to rain and there’s a sandpit there which he loves. We had brought some sandpit toys too.

Got there and were happily playing (there’s no toys as such in the sandpit bit except what you bring yourself) and a little girl about the same age as DS (2) came over and tried to take his sandpit toys off him. I explained that they were his but we’d happily share the other sandpit toys we’d brought, so gave her a couple of bits to play with. Her mum came over and we chatted whilst watching the kids play; I tend to keep a close eye on DS as he’s only 2 and I worry about him running off, falling etc. He decided he wanted to play at the other side of the park so I got up to go with him and the lady laughed and said ‘leave him to play himself, you’re being too overprotective, he’ll be fine’. I laughed but explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing that and went with him. Her DD kept playing in the sandpit with our toys (again, happy with that as DS had lost interest in them).

After a while she came over and joined us again, made small talk- we had been talking about struggling with kids and I mentioned I’d had post natal depression when DS was born and she said how did you know? I said I’d spent a lot of time crying and feeling overwhelmed and she LAUGHED and said you actually just sat there and cried all day? I got a bit defensive at this and changed the subject; she asked me what I did and I told her (office job, nothing overly interesting) and she said that was ‘boring’ and she could never do anything like that. At this point I was getting a bit annoyed so started moving away with DS but she kept talking!

I was wearing harem pants and a hoodie and she said ‘don’t you ever wear makeup?’ I said no not really, I would like to start wearing a bit but other things seem to get in the way and I run out of time in the morning. She told me she always makes the effort to wear makeup for her DH. fine, each to their own. She then said ‘I bet you always wear joggers and scruffy clothes don’t you?’ I’d genuinely had enough at this point so picked up DS as it had started raining and said we were going to head off. She then told me I needed to make sure I dressed nicely and wore makeup otherwise ‘your husband will end up cheating on you, you don’t know what he does at work all day’. Er, if he’s going to cheat on me then he’s not the kind of man I want to be with! Her final comment was ‘by the way, your toys are in that sandpit over there somewhere’ (which is a REALLY big sandpit) at which point I just went to get them and then left.

AIBU or have I just met one of the rudest people ever?!

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 11/07/2019 14:16

Ooh she sound rude but could she have social issues? The only people I’ve ever come across like this are people with learning disabilities.

Either that or she’s just nuts and into conspiracy’s theories.

RhodaDendron · 11/07/2019 14:16

Goodness what an absolute horror! I hope you meet some nice people in your area OP. It’s hard having a baby in a new area.

Aj63 · 11/07/2019 14:19

Sorry for your horrible experience. Bad behaviour is often blamed on poor mental health. Not everyone with mental health issues is rude, inconsiderate or socially inappropriate. Don't think this woman's behaviour is acceptable under any circumstance. She was indeed rude

Sceptre86 · 11/07/2019 14:22

She sounds socially inept or just mean, hard to say which really. Wearing makeup for your dh, honestly wear it for yourself if you want but to avoid a man leaving you? Sounds like you had a lucky escape I wouldn't make the effort to talk to her again if I were you. Hope you make some lovely friends in the area soon.

Antibles · 11/07/2019 14:26

I think you've just had the misfortune to encounter a very bored sociopath or narcissist. They are good at sniffing out nice or vulnerable people and will use any information you give them about your vulnerabilities against you, sometimes merely to amuse themselves.

Don't take it personally - it was definitely her not you and there's nothing you can do about these people. Being rude back doesn't dent them, they've got a chip missing, so don't spend the day thinking you should have come up with something cutting to say back to her. You did the only thing you can do with these people which is make your excuses and avoid.

Don't let her take up any more of your headspace, that's what they love doing, the sickos. Enjoy the rest of your day Flowers

cannycat20 · 11/07/2019 14:27

Wow, it must be great to be that perfect... And if she doesn't work in a "boring" office job, what does she do that's so wonderful, one wonders? When she's not dispensing uncalled-for and out-dated "expert" advice, that is. Perhaps she's found the cure for cancer?

You sound like a sensible, kind, caring mum and person-in-general and like you were very sensibly dressed for taking little 'un to the park and it's not overprotective at all to keep an eye on a two year old. Doesn't she know how quickly they can wander off, for heaven's sake? Well done on battling post-natal depression as well.

Hope you meet some nicer people soon! It's so hard moving to a new area (I know, I've done it enough times!!)

Another thing - it was really nice of you to share your little lad's toys with the other child, and actually quite rude of her not to bring them back to you, IMHO. She sounds thoroughly unpleasant, entitled and dismissive from that little vignette!

I can't help feeling she might find her "perfect" life and persona unravelling at some point unexpectedly in the future, though...

likeafishneedsabike · 11/07/2019 14:27

She actually sounds like a very vulnerable person. Look on the bright side: you’re not related to her!

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 14:30

Thank you all, you’ve made me feel much better. I agree with a PP who said play parks seem to bring out the oddest people, although this has been the oddest by far. I have to admit, once I processed what happened, I called DH (who was just as taken aback as you all were) and had a bit of a chuckle about it. I’m guessing she was what she would describe as ‘outspoken’ or ‘honest’ because she didn’t at any point seem surprised at anything she was saying; she even suggested we meet up after I said bye, but I brushed that off. Definitely hoping we never bump into each other again!

OP posts:
Moodyfoodie · 11/07/2019 14:30

She doesn't sound rude, she sounds an absolute raving nutter!! I would have assumed some kind of personality disorder

dayswithaY · 11/07/2019 14:31

She's just very bored and gets her kicks by criticising strangers, and obviously has no friends of her own. In future learn to cut these people off much earlier before they can really put the boot in. I had to do this after having similar experiences - I think some people just attract it. No idea why but friends have suggested to me that I look quite passive (I 'm not) so weirdos will pick up on this. I'm very blunt with strangers who I think are leaning that way. Forget her, she has big problems.

Deuxcaggages · 11/07/2019 14:33

She sounds very odd. It almost like she was deliberately trying to offend you for reasons known only to herself. She’s probably run out of family and friends to upset, so she’s starting on strangers in the park now.

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 14:35

Thank you cannycat20, that was a lovely thing to say and very appreciated. And to everyone else, I didn’t expect to be told IWBU but didn’t expect such kind words!

It’s definitely hard moving to a new place when you have a little one, they’re so all consuming and the places you go are so different to pre kids. But there’s been no one as awful as her so far and I’ve met some lovely people along the way, so I’m thankful she’s the exception not the rule!

OP posts:
FudgeMallowDelight · 11/07/2019 14:35

I've got an old school friend who's got absolutely loads of friends. She's one of the most tactful people i know. I think that's why people like her. The woman you bumped into must be a real friend deterrent if she behaves like that! Grin

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 14:37

That’s interesting dayswithaY because I probably would describe myself as quite passive. I don’t speak up for myself often, it’s only since I had DS that I’m more willing to speak out for his sake, but for the most part I’m very quiet so maybe it’s something some people pick up on?

OP posts:
StormTreader · 11/07/2019 14:42

Best deterrant for someone telling you you need to dress better/wear makeup/ etc is when they say "i always make an effort", you pause for a second looking them up and down and say "...in a rush then today, were you?"

Grumpelstilskin · 11/07/2019 14:43

She seems very overinvested in having to keep up an appearance to keep a man. Means her relationship can’t be very strong if she thinks along those lines. Sounds a bit of a sad cow.

Shelbybear · 11/07/2019 14:46

What a strange thing to say to anyone never mind someone you don't know. Yes she was incredibly rude and you did the right thing walking away. Oh and a bit of make up is not going to make ur husband not cheat 😂 she sounds very insecure and her husband probably has cheated and that's why she's saying these things.

LauderSyme · 11/07/2019 15:30

She has the emotional IQ of a twat bogbrush and her cognitive IQ can't be much higher. Hope you're not letting her idiocy bother you OP, she is so not worth it.

ReggaetonLente · 11/07/2019 18:18

She might be my SIL, this is the kind of crap she comes out with.

In her slight defence, she's from another European country where people are more... direct. But its still irritating.

Cheeserton · 11/07/2019 18:23

You met a complete twat, alas. This happens sometimes.

SheChoseDown · 11/07/2019 18:25

Was she going to sell you some younique makeup?? 😝

AmateurSwami · 11/07/2019 18:45

@Antibles fab advice, tempted to screen shot it for the next time I come across one of these morons

369thegoosedrankwine · 11/07/2019 18:51

Very odd behaviour and definitely her not you.

Remember this always; you cannot argue with stupid.

Oh and clearly all men who cheat have partners who don't wear make-up Confused.

Durgasarrow · 11/07/2019 18:56

Sounds like an early episode of the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

CookPassBabtridge · 11/07/2019 18:59

She sounds a bit nuts actually, like she has no social filter or awareness of how what she's saying impacts others.