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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve just met a really rude person?

79 replies

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 12:09

I took DS to the park today, with a change of clothes as it was due to rain and there’s a sandpit there which he loves. We had brought some sandpit toys too.

Got there and were happily playing (there’s no toys as such in the sandpit bit except what you bring yourself) and a little girl about the same age as DS (2) came over and tried to take his sandpit toys off him. I explained that they were his but we’d happily share the other sandpit toys we’d brought, so gave her a couple of bits to play with. Her mum came over and we chatted whilst watching the kids play; I tend to keep a close eye on DS as he’s only 2 and I worry about him running off, falling etc. He decided he wanted to play at the other side of the park so I got up to go with him and the lady laughed and said ‘leave him to play himself, you’re being too overprotective, he’ll be fine’. I laughed but explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing that and went with him. Her DD kept playing in the sandpit with our toys (again, happy with that as DS had lost interest in them).

After a while she came over and joined us again, made small talk- we had been talking about struggling with kids and I mentioned I’d had post natal depression when DS was born and she said how did you know? I said I’d spent a lot of time crying and feeling overwhelmed and she LAUGHED and said you actually just sat there and cried all day? I got a bit defensive at this and changed the subject; she asked me what I did and I told her (office job, nothing overly interesting) and she said that was ‘boring’ and she could never do anything like that. At this point I was getting a bit annoyed so started moving away with DS but she kept talking!

I was wearing harem pants and a hoodie and she said ‘don’t you ever wear makeup?’ I said no not really, I would like to start wearing a bit but other things seem to get in the way and I run out of time in the morning. She told me she always makes the effort to wear makeup for her DH. fine, each to their own. She then said ‘I bet you always wear joggers and scruffy clothes don’t you?’ I’d genuinely had enough at this point so picked up DS as it had started raining and said we were going to head off. She then told me I needed to make sure I dressed nicely and wore makeup otherwise ‘your husband will end up cheating on you, you don’t know what he does at work all day’. Er, if he’s going to cheat on me then he’s not the kind of man I want to be with! Her final comment was ‘by the way, your toys are in that sandpit over there somewhere’ (which is a REALLY big sandpit) at which point I just went to get them and then left.

AIBU or have I just met one of the rudest people ever?!

OP posts:
MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 11/07/2019 13:08

Gets identification book out.....

Hmmm the common or garden Thick Bitch. Tends to inhabit parks or playgrounds. To be avoided due to tendency to spout noxious venom.

Lifeover · 11/07/2019 13:08

Mmmm this seems very weird, are you sure you don’t know this woman from somewhere? Could she be someone from your past who recognised you but you didn’t recognise due to dramatic changes to looks massive weight loss who decided to get some kind of “revenge” sounds vvvvv weird behaviour from a complete stranger.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 11/07/2019 13:09

that's beyond rude, that's just bizarre.

I wouldn't go into any chat past the weather with a complete stranger - you went into far too many personal details!
Her comments were just.. weird Confused

GoBrookeYourself · 11/07/2019 13:17

Lifeover definitely don’t know her from anywhere, we only got chatting because DS was sharing his toys with her DD.

heatwave, yes I probably did go into too many personal details, but she kept asking me questions and probing. As an example, the postnatal depression comment came about because she said she had 4 kids- I said I found one hard and laughed, she then asked what I meant; I explained that it was just different to what I’d expected it to be and she kept probing; asking what I meant etc. She even asked me exactly how old I was when I’d had PND and how long I’d had it for, how I knew I had it, what it felt like etc etc. She was doing about 80% of the talking, I was just answering questions.

One of the times when I walked away, she started talking to another mum there (I didn’t hear what was being said), but that mum walked away after a minute or so and didn’t really engage from what I could gather. In hindsight I should’ve done the same thing and just not engaged! Ah well, it didn’t upset me, just surprised me.

OP posts:
Eliza9919 · 11/07/2019 13:23

It sounds like she was deliberately trying to be nasty.

Just ignore, she's obviously got some kind of issues.

mememe2019 · 11/07/2019 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mememe2019 · 11/07/2019 13:28

Sorry wrong tread. oops

AmateurSwami · 11/07/2019 13:32

I hate people like this. I never react as I feel I should either. I just sort of take it

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 11/07/2019 13:32

Wow what an odd woman. I bet she is avoided like the plague. All the other mums have gone to a different park I suspect - go and find that one!

AcrossthePond55 · 11/07/2019 13:32

And now you know why she was there alone. Who'd want to be friends with someone like that!

Honestly, you must have the patience of a saint. I'd probably have given her a piece of my mind with her second bit of nonsense.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 11/07/2019 13:33

Wow!! That's just completely absolutely unbelievable!

Some people just say absolutely anything for attention don't they?

Very weird indeed.

MarshaBradyo · 11/07/2019 13:36

Beyond rude into bizarre territory

BMW6 · 11/07/2019 13:36

Sounds like she has all the charm and personality of a wasp.

I bet she is a frequent visitor to that park and you are not the only one that she pisses off.

Give her no more head space OP. If you encounter her again and she makes further unwarranted remarks just tell her to push off.

Sciurus83 · 11/07/2019 13:36

mememe2019 not sure we can chalk this one up to Brexit! 😂

OP this woman sounds like someone who takes great pleasure in bullying others and trying to hurt them. She specifically tried to get information from you that she could weaponize to hurt you, totally vile and not your fault. The only thing in future would be to not engage/give away anything personal if you meet another one of these heinous beasts. Sorry this happened, she's a knobber.

Sagradafamiliar · 11/07/2019 13:38

I've never heard of such a strange exchange in all my life. She was really gunning for you. Is it at all possible that she knows who you are but you don't know who she is? I don't see why anyone would have such a personal vendetta against a complete stranger.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 11/07/2019 13:40

Seriously, I cannot believe that would happen between 2 strangers.

Betty777 · 11/07/2019 13:49

I think possibly:

a) she's on medication and accidentally took too much today

b) she's probably does need to wear makeup to keep her husband, as it doesn't sound like she can rely on her charm/social skills/personality

c) her husband has already/is already cheating on her, hence the paranoia

d) all of the above

PeachBlack · 11/07/2019 13:54

OP, I’m so sorry you had postnatal depression.

It is difficult to fend off people like that (at first, anyway) because their rudeness is so gobsmacking. But you’ll know for next time (hopefully there won’t be one). In the meantime, practice! Big smile and, ‘Wow, I can’t believe you just asked me that. You must be really embarrassed!’ Repeat.

Another big smile. ‘It’s amazing that you think that’s any of your business.’ Repeat.

I’m always amazed how people like that dare to behave the way they do. Aren’t they afraid they’ll pick on the wrong person and get whacked in the chops?! Maybe not if they’re thick.

gandalf456 · 11/07/2019 13:56

I don't know. I met some odd women at the park but, thankfully they were in the minority.

I had one tell me my daughter should be potty trained by now (she was 2) and berated me for not using rewashable nappies.

Fair enough we all have our views but to strangers????

I had another try to get her 18 month old to recite the alphabet for me

Itellpeopletogoogleit · 11/07/2019 14:02

She clearly has deep issues. You should pity her.

Stampyourfeet · 11/07/2019 14:05

What is it about play parks bringing out the worst in people?! Cut her dead if you see her again, she sounds horrible

stayathomer · 11/07/2019 14:05

I thought she was going to have taken your toys!! Yanbu! What the actual?!

Topseyt · 11/07/2019 14:09

Yes, I would say she sounds very rude and lacking in social graces.

She also sounds far too in thrall to her husband. So what if you do or don't wear makeup. Whatever you do, you do it for yourself, not DH. I don't wear makeup as I can't be arsed with it. DH isn't at all bothered. I doubt he even notices anyway and he couldn't give a shit.

I do an office job too. That's what I like doing. DH is also in an office. I'm afraid the woman sounds as if she was rather stuck up and snobby there.

Chalk it up to experience. If you see her in the park again then give her a wide berth. If she does approach you and ask why you are ignoring her then tell her straight.

ILearnedItFromABook · 11/07/2019 14:11

Definitely something wrong with her. Seems almost like she was actively trying to antagonise you, for some inexplicable reason. Confused

Here's hoping you won't bump into her again!

ChimesAtMidnight · 11/07/2019 14:13

She told me she always makes the effort to wear makeup for her DH
Here you go op - a few tips for you.
www.littlethings.com/1950s-good-housewife-guide