Are we going to be able to survive on this money?

[username6050]

£2,100 between us a month.

Rent is £900.
DP has to pay £400 maintenance.
£450 nursery charges a month.
Will have a 2 year old and a newborn.

It's all seeming impossible!

Hahahaha where we live £900 is cheap and it'll get you a fancy studio flat, not London.

I dont think that can work no
I know its easy for us to say but can you try moving somewhere cheaper, or not use the nursery if your on maternity leave?
Can you try maybe working a couple of nights somewhere so you dont need nursery? Will you eventually have to use a nursery for both children?

The OP did not say to cut down on payments to his first DC's, but it was inferred and many posters jumped in with 'check that payment' I find that despicable.

I'm a benefits adviser and also coach clients in financial capability/budgetting. If a client came to me with the same scenario, I'm afraid I would be professionally obliged to give that advice.

I'd also be advising to stop sending the 2YO to nursery and getting a p/t job in the evenings/at weekends too though, as well as checking if there's any UC entitlement.

I'd be surprised if the OP isn't entitled to some UC on those figures, unless they live somewhere where rent is low.

Thanks everyone.
I wasn't looking for arguments and negative comments or anything like that, just to see if there was anyone who thought it was doable, and if not then obviously the first steps are to look at reducing rent, look at work/childcare options and take up an evening job etc!

Is the newborn already here OP?

Surely you do the sums first and if not possible and you want kids find someone who doesn't already have them.

In an ideal world, that is how it would happen, but we don't live in an ideal world. The OP was seeking opinions on how things are, not how they could have been.

for me - no.

Apart from your reducing rent etc is there any way your DH/P could get another job/higher paying job?

OP, I've just run some figures through the benefit software that professionals use and, based on the following assumptions

1. that local housing allowance where you are is £210 pw, and

2. that you earn £90 pw SMP and the rest of the £2,100 is earned by your DP

you would be entitled to £166 a month in universal credit. If that's right, that's a significant increase in your disposable income. And I didn't factor in any nursery fees, because off the top of my head I don't know if you'd get help with those while on mat leave and my Benefits Handbook is at the office!

Don't forget to claim child benefit for the baby. I know it's only £13 something pw, but every little helps.

£400 is nothing for maintenance

Agree, it's fifty quid a week, so either the mother is predominantly supporting them financially or thr government is. Because he's not. Not on fifty quid a week.

Nope thats only 200 thats £100 a week for £400

Sorry it doesn't seem possible, if it is it will be extremely tight. Can you find somewhere cheaper to rent? Cheaper childcare? Try and cut down on things you can, is it possible to work more hours?

Shouldn't you have check this out before having a newborn?

No - that’s not enough. Sorry.

Shouldn't you have check this out before having a newborn?

Somewhere between 40 and 50% of births in Europe are unintended. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4727534/ So a fuck of a lot of people don't do their thinking beforehand, either because of carelessness or contraception failure. www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html Statistics are fun!

Somewhere between 40 and 50% of births in Europe are unintended.

Very interesting but OP and partner planned this baby knowing they had two to provide for already.

Somewhere between 40 and 50% of births in Europe are unintended.

That's shocking! If you'd asked me to guess, I'd have said 10-20%.

Wtf is wrong with people? Contraception has never been easier, you don't even have to remember to take a pill any more.

Contraception has never been easier, you don't even have to remember to take a pill any more.

The second link is your friend...

OP - How are you working PT with a newborn?

Lakie I got pregnant with a coil in situ contraception isn't 100%.

Nope thats only 200 thats £100 a week for £400

Eh. You do understand there are two kids being supported on that maintenance, so that's fifty quid a week each right?

OP, can I ask why you started this thread when your engagement with all the suggestion people are making and the questions they are asking is absolutely minimal?

you do know maintenance isn't purely for the direct costs of the children don't you? It's also there to assist in housing costs, bills, school travel, clothes, food

Yeah, im not stupid. But also a woman with no children would still have to pay housing costs and bills. Everyone who says but bills are so much mooooore with kids. Come on. Theyre not.

the mother can also contribute to her own kids

Of course she can, but £400 from dad is nothing and nowhere near half the cost of looking after two children. That means she is probably contributing far more than he is even if she is also claiming benefits.

What does your DP think is possible?

Has he considered how things are going to be and if he is going to need to have an uncomfortable conversation with his ex about child maintenance?

In an ideal world he’d keep paying £400 per month. But if that means his other 2 DC are living in poverty then it has to be a consideration, I’m afraid. In an ideal world he wouldn’t have more children than he can comfortably afford but that decision has already been made. He will need to own the uncomfortable reality of this. It’s not all on you to fix it.

It's actually not even £50 a week per child, it's £46

And of course bills are far more with kids. If she was single she could live in a one bedroom flat. Or potentially with friends! That's not really an option with children!