To tell random parents I think their children are well behaved

[Tootytata]

I'm sitting in an airport waiting to board my flight (by myself since it's work related). A family with 6 children are sitting opposite me. They've been sitting there for about 30 minutes but the children are so well behaved. Ages probably ranging from 3-4 to 13-14years old.

The oldest is doing a crossword puzzle. One of the children is trying to make the another laugh by giving him a teddy bear.

I'm sure not every day is sunshine and roses but I'd love to tell them how well behaved I think their children are. Don't think I will though because it's too random a comment to make! I'll look weird won't I?!

I've been up since 3am so tiredness is kicking in...

Hope you did! We had to fly a lot when my children were young & it always made me happy when people did this (especially when they had sat next to us with a look of ‘oh no I’m next to a toddler’ at the beginning of a flight!). Having six behaving brilliantly must be an achievement!

I think it's a lovely thing to do/say. We were on holiday with friends about 15 years ago in Spain. We were having a meal in restaurant one evening with the 5 children we had between us when an English couple passed us on their way out and said what beautifully behaved children we had. I still remember that fondly and with pride today.

Over here in overthinkers corner I'm in two minds about this. It happened to me once in a cafe when DD2 was still a baby and I was really struggling with anxiety and I nearly cried in gratitude. Then i think of another time a man commented about how nice it was to see a child being read to (quietly!) in a cafe as opposed to on a tablet or whatever (which, by the way could easily have been the scenario on another day) and for some reason even though it was perfectly pleasantly delivered it really added to that (probably imaginary) weight i already feel of everyone watching and judging my parenting either positively or negatively all the time. Maybe it has to do with the delivery.

People have done this to me before and it was much appreciated. I had a woman tell me last year I should be proud of myself managing with four DC, she struggles with one.

Do it! Even if they aren't well-behaved, a supportive comment would be really appreciated by me.
When mine were toddlers, they would invariably kick off on the last 10 min train ride on the journey home from anywhere, and it always felt like forever. The few times that older women touched me on the shoulder in the scrum to escape our station and said "You are a good mum" really helped.

Recently went for dim sum as its family friendly. Kids clearly don't behave in expected ways but will stay by our table by the wall, no yelling, no running about. We were all chuffed when the brusque manager came over to say how well behaved they had been. Even if its because she knows we'll come back!

A lady gave my son a fiver after a 3 hour bus journey because he was so quiet she didnt even know he was there (he is 2). I felt pretty bad because he had actually slept 2 out of the 3 hours and had lunch the other hour...more good luck than good parenting!

An old man did this to me on a bus when I had 2 pre schoolers made my day!

My mother is the opposite of a complainer (not sure there is a word for it!) if she has a good experience or is impressed by behaviour she writes to the school / company to tell them

Do it! Honestly, I get those comments every now and again and it helps cancel out the snarky ‘performance parenting’ jibes I get when my kids are minding their own business reading books on the tube.

yes, do it.
I had a nightmare train journey at May half term involving a broken down train, a man being arrested, changing trains to a full train where the 4 and 7 year old had to sit on our knees and arriving back in London at midnight, and on the queue to the taxi (paid for by the rail company phew) people behind us said how well behaved the girls were being and how patient after all the rigmarole

i felt quite chuffed...

makes a difference from when i have to drag them kicking and screaming

I make a conscious effort to do this when I see special circumstances. I was once on a plane and a young (early teen) lad was sat separately from his family. He was so polite and chatted to the elderly people sat near him. When I saw him with his family in the airport later I told the mum how well behaved and polite he'd been. She looked very proud. We all need a boost every now and then. I also make a point of reporting good customer service to managers.

When our flight landed when my eldest daughter was 3 someone in front to me said how well behaved she was and it really made my day . I know she isn’t always like that but was nice to hear .

Do it! My DD was often complimented on her behaviour when she was younger - she was angelic in public, at different story at home!

Even now she is 15, I always remember in particular being on a packed 4 hr train journey with her when she was 4. I was having a shit time as I was a SP working long hours and studying and DD had lots of health issues. A couple said their hearts sank when they saw the booked seats were opposite us. They were so complimentary about her behaviour but also said how lovely it was that I was reading very quietly to her and making up games. I just felt that maybe I wasn't doing such a shit job and I still remember it.

I took my 2 girls on a coach trip couple of years ago for the weekend by myself. First time I have ever taken them anywhere overnight by myself (dh was working abroad). On the sunday evening when everybody was getting off the coach a lady said to me, your children are an absolute credit to you, they have behaved so well. They were 6 and 18 months at the time and I had been so stressed about taking them alone. Made my weekend

Yes say something OP

I often compliment some strangers dress or hair if I particularly like something . It always goes down well .

My mother does this kind of thing all the time. She runs a playgroup and is always going on about the importance building each other up - there's so many that are quick to judge negatively so she likes to challenge herself to cancel all this out.
Does mean we take ages to get anything done when we go out tho...

Do it! I did the same to a couple in a restaurant with their two children and the toddler was positively beaming with pride, made my day!

I definitely would do it and have done.

Without exception, everytime we brought our children to a restaurant, the waiting staff would say they were the politest children with the nicest table manners.

I loved to hear it, as did they.

Good table manners are a bugbear of mine though.

We get this quite often about our children and absolutely love it! I compliment people lots too. I think it comes from never having heard so much as a half-hearted ‘well done’ as a kid, I give and certainly appreciate compliments very much indeed!

I hope you did it OP. It so encouraging to hear things like this as a parent. Encouragement is something that is disappearing in society and who doesn't feel better after a little encouragement!

Hope you have done it... a kind word is always appreciated -

A lovely elderly couple told us how well behaved my 2 were on a rainy day visit to a castle (lump of damp rocks) in Wales once. Lifted the day out of the misery of a day where nothing else had gone right.

I also had a lovely American lady come up to me in Disneyworld and say "I just wanted to say - what a beautiful dress - you look so summery" Made my trip...

I am 55 now and remember those 2 days so clearly because of the kind comments of strangers.

Another vote for telling them. I distinctly remember two occasions that I've been out for lunch with both my kids & have been complimented on their behaviour. It really makes you feel that actually you're not doing as bad a job as you may sometimes feel.

I have done this before, and have also received a compliment about my own dc. Little children always seem to make a beeline for me.

I'd tell the kids! Obviously the parents have done a good job but it's the kids who are behaving, and they love getting the credit for it. I swear mine grow an inch taller when someone says something like that to them. And it makes them think about their behaviour in a way that no amount of nagging from me will!

I always do. People hardly ever pass on nice feedback nowadays, all you hear is complaints, it's good to praise something good.