To tell random parents I think their children are well behaved

[Tootytata]

I'm sitting in an airport waiting to board my flight (by myself since it's work related). A family with 6 children are sitting opposite me. They've been sitting there for about 30 minutes but the children are so well behaved. Ages probably ranging from 3-4 to 13-14years old.

The oldest is doing a crossword puzzle. One of the children is trying to make the another laugh by giving him a teddy bear.

I'm sure not every day is sunshine and roses but I'd love to tell them how well behaved I think their children are. Don't think I will though because it's too random a comment to make! I'll look weird won't I?!

I've been up since 3am so tiredness is kicking in...

Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's patronising and somewhat entitled.

I found it sometimes just came across as a bit of a "I saw a child and assumed my whole day was ruined because you were so selfish to think you should be in the public sphere. What a relief my day wasn't ruined."

It depends on context and how you do it, I guess.

Do it! That mum is probably sitting there worrying about occupying her kids for the flight, how tired they might be, whether she's packed enough suncream, remembered the little one's favourite comforter, etc etc. Chances are a kind comment from a stranger will make her day.

It's nice to see, Tootytata. Do smile and tell the parents you are impressed with their children's behaviour, they'll like that.

Husband and I were in a cafe one lunch time on a Saturday and seated at the table next to us were two children and their dad. They were all chatting away about fairly interesting things (can't remember what now, it was a few years ago). When we were leaving I said to the man, "You have lovely children"; he beamed and said ", Thank you", he was obviously pleased and proud. They were lovely.

Please do it

I do it, also comment in changing rooms (only positive, unless asked!). People are always pleased with a kind word.

I would consider it, it's nice to hear from strangers sometimes. My mum still says about a woman in M&S complimenting me as toddler 40 years ago! It shouldn't be necessary but sometimes if feeling down about parenting external validation that we're doing ok reinforces it better than our own friends and family.

Do it and make sure the kids hear too. I have a so with aspergers and he struggles in school but we were at a cafe one day and the owner came up to tell me he just wanted to say how lovely well mannered and polite my children were. I was sooooo proud and it did indescribable things for my sons tattered self esteem - he keeps asking to go back

Yes do it - it's always nice to hear.

A dad at school pick up complimented me on how polite my 6 year old son had been that morning on his bike. I was over the moon! Do it!

Definitely let them know.

My DD is forever getting compliments from strangers noting how well behaved her 5 DC are.

Actually I find it quite sad that it seems to be quite a novelty to see well behaved DC. We shouldn't feel the need to complement good behaviour. It should be a normal occurrence.

It's so lovely to hear, go for it!

You don't know what mayhem the family might have gone through at home to ensure all the kids are now well behaved in a public place, and how much hard work it is, you might very well make their day.

YaNBU. Do it

Yes, do it.

Do it! I would love this

Do it! This happened to me at the weekend and my dts got a free biscuit from the chain cafe we were in for being (their words) so well mannered and polite! It meant so much to me.

I find it really patronising but always say thank you. It's like they've been watching, I wouldn't do it.

Yes! I love it when people say it to me about mine, it makes up for the scowling and disapproving looks when they aren’t being well behaved!

Yes, please do. Parents traveling with kids get loads of stick, and if you get a bad flight, or a shouty toddler, people surely let the parents know. Why not do the opposite?

I have done this.

People are so quick to judge negatively that I will make a point of praising the positive.

Ideally do it as they’re moving off

I would be really stressed that they would then kick off and ruin your impression.

Do it, I will never forget when a passenger on a plane told me this while I was travelling alone with two young children, and was feeling quite stressed

I love when people do this, my son has Aspergers so it's a lovely little boost that I'm doing a good job.
My neighbour once told me how well behaved and smartly dressed my two always are and I could've cried, I was having a really rotten day!

Such a nice thing to do - we've had it a few times when travelling with DS when he was under 18, and it's such a nice thing to hear after you've spent the whole flight trying to keep him entertained/asleep/quiet!

You have the opportunity to make someone’s day OP!

Tell them! (Are you my friend who’s going to Frankfurt?)