we have a four month old and my partner has arranged a five day trip without telling me.

[Jessclarkky]

So, my partner has arranged a five day camping trip ‘with the boys’ without telling me. I had to find out from another guys girlfriend. We have a four month old baby and I’m struggling with tiredness and absolute boredom. He’s been really sneaky about phone calls and has bought this camping gear after arranging this trip but tells me it’s for camping by a river for one night in the distant future. He works all day (which i am so grateful for) but he’s revising in the evenings, so I only really see him at dinner, when we’re sleeping and on the weekends. And the camping trip is over the weekend. I wouldn’t be so pissed off if he hadn’t stopped me seeing my family one
Sunday because it’s ‘taking away our us time’( I also invited him to come with me so we could be together). I despise the guy he’s going with because he too has a baby but is cheating on the mother and is an all round so and so. I don’t know if I’m being a wicked witch because I’m tired and bored and feel really distant from him since baby or if I should be mad. Please someone tell me if I’m being evil because I’m very much in my head at the moment. Thank you :)

He's clearly going to go. Can you go and stay with your parents while he's gone? and don't rush back

Jess, going away in holiday with a friend and leaving your Dp at home with a 4 month old baby is a really really shit thing to do.

You need to tell him how you are feeling.

My then Dp went on a sort trip for 2 nights when our eldest was 4 months and he was beside himself with concern and guilt, saying “I’ll make this up to you” etc.

Work trip not sort trip

I would be pissed about the sneaking around and lieing. As for going, meh, its one baby, u dont need two people to take care of him, go to town or meet friends if ur bored.

Agree with bluejag
And big lol at pp talking about freedom program and i dont expect u to leave him now but 😂 OP is young but not a child come on.

Find out the dates he's going and before he tells you then announce you've booked a last minute holiday with the girls and you know he will manage with the baby and it will be a good bonding experience yada yada 😂

I’ll go on holiday for a few days with you, OP. Where do you fancy?

Seriously though, I’ve been thinking about this lately. A friend of mine had a baby by 2 weeks ago and already the Dad has set up a WhatsApp group to arrange a huge piss up to ‘wet the baby’s head’ (my DH was invited) with all the men he knows.
My DHs colleague’s partner had a baby last November and by Christmas, the colleague had discovered all these hobbies he just has to do all of a sudden - golf, playing 5 aside etc
DHs boss arranged a (non negotiable) 5 day trip away for all the people that work there (only 8 staff - all male) most of whom have small children.
Luckily DH isn’t a dick and is only going for a few nights - and checked with me first (we have a nearly two year old)

I hate terms like ‘needy’ as well. They fall into the same category as ‘bunny boiler’ ‘nag’ ‘psycho’
All words used to describe perfectly normal feelings and behaviour to gaslight women into thinking they’re being unreasonable.
I know a few women who won’t mention things to their partner that really bother them for fear of being labelled one of the aforementioned.