Checking the front door

[rose789]

Me and dp have lived in this house for 7 years. All this time the last one home locks the front door when they get in. Never been an issue.
Last week as I was leaving the house I realised that he hadn’t locked the door the night before when he had came in. I told him at the time, not in an arsey way just a shit the doors been open all night. Thinking I was realistically just as much to blame as I hadn’t checked either.
Anyway since then every night I’ve checked the door is locked before going up to bed, regardless of who was last in even if I know for a fact I’ve locked the door.

Tonight I went to check on my way upstairs and dp got pissed off. He was saying it’s rubbing his mistake in his face and that I don’t trust him and that I’m making out he put his family in danger.
I told him that’s not the case I got a fright at how complacent we had both been and that it makes sense to check the house is secure when the girls are here.
He then said “fucks sake this is going to be another fucking OCD thing isn’t it” I do have OCD but not about things like checking doors.
We’re both tired and grumpy after a few nights of little sleep with a teething baby, work etc but I don’t think it’s fair that because I’m checking my home is secure I’m having a mental condition used against me. He’s gone to bed and I’m seething on the sofa.

Do you check the doors before going to bed or AIBU checking?

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan are you married to my DH?

@Wallywobbles we don't leave the key in ours, there is a pane of glass in the door that you could smash and then unlock the door if the key was left in (although we both forgot to take it out last night).

The key is kept in a drawer next to the door, so very easy to get to if we need it.

Only when I am alone. I figure that a mad axe murderer will go for the husband, the kids and the dog before they find me on the top floor. So fuck’em.

What plugs are people checking, and what for?

We live in a secure block of flats. At night only the other tenants can get in and out with keys. Even with that 'added' security we both routinely check the front door is locked and on the off chance it isn't neither tells the other off we mention it in passing as it is important to us to be secure.

I only check the oven switch is turned off and the washing machine .just as a safety measure .I never used to before the kiddies but now ivedeveloped the need to lol.

What plugs are people checking, and what for?
Very interesting question, my MIL turns off some plugs and not others (fridge anyone?) why are some ok to be left but not others? It’s pretty fucking ridiculous isn’t it?

I check the windows, doors, car is locked,oven and hob and any chargers in plugs etc, lights and shut the down stairs internal doors. That's not OCD it's called common sense. Dh does it if i haven't not as thorough but he does the doors and lights

has anyone accidentally left the heating on all night and come downstairs to a sauna lol.

Yanbu as long as the checking doesn't take over.
In my case it could be a slippery slope but as long as it's not in yours then feel free to check, just once.

My DH once left the front door open all night. And by open, I mean wide open. Car keys in plain sight, my handbag is kept nearish the front door (would have to actually come in the house to get it though if you were so inclined).
I was furious when I got up and saw it open, but I checked on everything and it was all there and in order....except for the cat licking the kitchen tap.

We don't have a cat.

I don't have OCD and checking that my doors are locked is the last thing I do at night. I have a little 'thing' that I do as well to engage mentally with it, otherwise I forget I've checked and have to go back again. 😳

He's being an arse. I'd never have relied on other people in the house anyway - my daughters were forever forgetting to lock the door, and one morning someone rang the doorbell to tell me keys were in the door - house and car! That was down to me.

I do lock up on the way to bed. Though I don't worry about it in the day or evening.
Mmmm chicken

Kidworries
I check the windows, doors, car is locked,oven and hob and any chargers in plugs etc, lights and shut the down stairs internal doors. That's not OCD it's called common sense.

Agree. I never leave chargers plugged in. All my internal doors are 1hr fire doors (that was part of the planning permission when converting a section of the house to a separate flat) so I close them as well. I'm inclined to do everything on automatic pilot, so do have to make sure the check around is the very last thing I do, and not while thinking about something else.

dP often forgets to lock doors and it does annoy me. Yanbu

Your DH is being a pillock!

We use different doors, DH the front and me and the dog the back door. As we go to bed I check he has locked the front door and he checks I have locked the back door! We may make snippy comments about burglers and being murdered in our beds if one of us has forgotten, but that is part of the routine... it makes sense to us to double check, we have forgotten (when too puddled to remember) and it is always a bit of a jaw dropping moment when we realise!

Tell him to grow up!

It’s the last thing we do before going to bed. In summer it’s a case of also making sure the windows are closed. Perfectly normal behaviour from anyone I’d say. He’s overreacting.

We live in a flat and OH is neurotic about keeping the door locked all the time; I thought he was being OTT until one day, when I was home on my own someone tried the handle.

Scared me silly. Now we have Ring!

I always check doors two or three times before going up to bed. OH twice left his keys over night in the outside of the door! Luckily locked from the inside so nobody could of got in even with the keys. I was very surprised they were still there though!

I live alone and I lock my door behind me as soon as I enter my house. I still check it before I go up to bed.

Our front door is the sort that locks when you close it, but I also put the snib on at night

I sometimes stay overnight at work (it’s a residential house) & I had a routine there, I’ve had to change it though as one person will put the chain on the door even if the door isn’t locked (not self locking, so can open from the outside) so I’ve thought it was locked when it wasn’t

So I make sure I’m last up to bed and check all 3 doors

I’m not fussed if anyone thinks I’m checking up on them🤷🏻‍♀️ Rather that than dead in our beds!

Just tell him that most people check the locks on the way to bed and that yes, it was only once he forgot when he cane in, but either if you could do it’s just sensible & if he keeps going on just tell him to STFU about it, you’re not asking him to do it.

He was being really mean to bring your ICD into it... watch out for this nasty behaviour & don’t let him feck with your head 🌷

In the same scenario I woke up at 1am to find someone in our hallway. Now we BOTH check the doors every single night . People are human it’s worth checking.

topcat2014
What plugs are people checking, and what for?

I turn off the TV plug at the wall - years ago a neighbour's TV went on fire and set the house on fire, it wasn't even switched on. I'm sure it was because it was an ancient thing that had a 'tube' (whatever the hell that was) but it imprinted on my brain.

I make sure chargers are unplugged because I've seen warnings about leaving them plugged in if you leave a dog alone in the house during the day. They do heat up.

Absolutely normal to check, but just because you have OCD, tonight I would suggest you don't. Double check it's not causing you anxiety. New OCD triggers can arise easily.

Ours door locks behind us anyway but I still check it as part of putting the house to bed (turning off lights etc)

Yep I always check the doors are locked same as you OP I have a toddler and a baby and I want to make sure we are secure and safe before going to bed