Checking the front door

[rose789]

Me and dp have lived in this house for 7 years. All this time the last one home locks the front door when they get in. Never been an issue.
Last week as I was leaving the house I realised that he hadn’t locked the door the night before when he had came in. I told him at the time, not in an arsey way just a shit the doors been open all night. Thinking I was realistically just as much to blame as I hadn’t checked either.
Anyway since then every night I’ve checked the door is locked before going up to bed, regardless of who was last in even if I know for a fact I’ve locked the door.

Tonight I went to check on my way upstairs and dp got pissed off. He was saying it’s rubbing his mistake in his face and that I don’t trust him and that I’m making out he put his family in danger.
I told him that’s not the case I got a fright at how complacent we had both been and that it makes sense to check the house is secure when the girls are here.
He then said “fucks sake this is going to be another fucking OCD thing isn’t it” I do have OCD but not about things like checking doors.
We’re both tired and grumpy after a few nights of little sleep with a teething baby, work etc but I don’t think it’s fair that because I’m checking my home is secure I’m having a mental condition used against me. He’s gone to bed and I’m seething on the sofa.

Do you check the doors before going to bed or AIBU checking?

*partner (not husband)

Oh god thanks for the reminder, we've gone to bed but I know for a fact our bathroom window is wide open and we are ground floor

We always try and remember to check, or ask the other one if they have checked. Usually one of us remembers. But last night we both forgot, and I had left the kitchen window open. It is easily visible from the main road, on a bus route, and would have been easy to climb into. Ooops!

So we are both happy to ask each other, or check ourselves ,as neither of us is perfect :)

I check my back and front doors several times then make DH check them I just can’t help it.

My husband works in the security field. He double checks all doors and windows. We've got door jam alarms, door bars and cameras. It's a bit like a prison but I'm thankful he thinks of these things.

We do what we call a “recce” every night. One of us, usually after dinner time when when we have no need to go outside, will check the front door, back door and garage door (integrated). We also have a middle door between our porch and hallway which I am very militant about making sure is locked every night even though the front door is secure. Just one of those things

We also check that the car doors are locked and if the red light things are flashing through the windscreen. We’ve left one unlocked on 2 occasions and both times an opportunist got in and nicked the contents.

Yanbu. Ignore his chuntering. You can’t put a price on yours and your kids’ safety

I live on my own now, and check doors are locked and windows closed before I go out and last thing at night. When I was growing up, the last person to go to bed checked everything was locked up.

When you're both feeling calmer, maybe just say that it's not a matter of not trusting him, it's just that having had a night with the door not locked has made you think you need to have a different way of checking and it's no hassle for you, nor is it any criticism of him.

You didn’t make him check the door - I can’t see why he’s whingeing.

I always check doors and windows before bed. The wife has left doors unlocked at night many times, and I once came home after work to a house that had been empty for hours (she was also working) and she had left the patio door fully open!

Get a Nest lock. We can ask Google if the front door is locked from bed before we go to sleep (and lock it if it isn’t). Bloody brilliant.

We rarely lock the doors. Probably at night husband or I might check on the way up to bed, but we tend to leave it unlocked all day even if we are out. We live in a pretty rough area, but I doubt anyone would bother trying to burgle us and even if they did they would be put off by the two massive barking dogs.

Mine left the front door unlocked once and his fucking keys in the lock on the outside. The following morning someone knocked on the door to tell us. Needless to say I was VERY pissed off.

He has also left the front door unlocked on several other occasions and the door can be opened from the outside.

I don't trust him at all and therefore always check the door before bed. I don't care if it offends him.

I check my doors, car, all the plugs are unplugged, Hobbs off, ovens off, taps securely off and the light on the fire alarm is off, oh also the carbon dioxide machine is working.
I have ocd though

The light on the fire alarm is on I mean. Jesus I'd have a fit if it wasn't

Yes at least twice and all the windows, I leave a large bongo slightly jarred behind the front door, it the door was pushed open it would clatter off the ground. I don't have an alarm system.

I don’t check anything! Never have but wouldn’t work now as DS comes home from work at various times (bar staff currently).
Front door is a traditional one which can only be opened with a key.
Back and side doors are usually locked by the last one in but can be forgotten about.
I try to remember to check the living room windows now it’s warmer but there’s been the odd time they’ve been forgotten.

That said, we leave things on our porch (over time things such as double buggy, salt tablets) and they’ve never been taken.

Can anyone tell me if you should leave the key in the lock Incase of fire? I believe so. And before we lived together we had 3 major fires so I'm more worried about burning to death than being burgled.

Personally I'm really bad at this. We live very very rurally and have a ridiculous amount of outside doors and a dog. I'm always on the wrong side of the door like a bloody dog scratching to be let in. DH locks everything all the time. Drives me mad.

I usually keep the door locked ( yale and mortise) during the day, even when I'm at home. I make sure to snib the yale and shoot the bolt when I'm locking up for the night and everyone is home. I am the only adult though.
It's not OCD. It's perfectly normal and sensible. Your 'system' broke down and you just want to make sure everyone is safe. He seems super sensitive to your OCD- is it a problem for him???

Dh always checks that the door is double locked before bed

There was 1 time before dh was around where I hadn't checked the door and woke up the next morning with the front door on the latch

Luckily we live in a secure block!

We are always forgetting to lock doors. Mistakes happen.

Our doors are locked unless we are using them. But we still check on the way to bed.

I went down the other morning and the back door was wide open. Apparently we got way too complacent! I don't think it's ridiculous to check, especially if you live in a town or somewhere not remote

Your dp sounds like an insecure bully.

I don't find it abnormal to check stuff even if my dh already has.

I agree with pp that men don't have the same fear as women, I like everything to be double locked at all times.

you're in the right .I check doors are locked and plugs turned off windows downstairs are closed check on kiddies then go to bed .he's just taking his grumpiness out on you hun but that's his problem not yours .

I always check the doors front and back. We have cat and dog and so the doors are opened and closed regularly for their jaunts. Makes sense to check we haven't forgotten to lock them before settling.