AIBU to worry I may be starting too late?

[satsumaautumn]

OK, I am probably BU but, is 28 late to start TTC?

I don't mean culturally, I have lots of friends who don't have children yet (in fact, most of my friends are waiting until they are older) but I can't help thinking that most of my mum's generation had children by the time they were my age.

So, is 28 biologically old to try for a first baby?

Not at all!! Please don't worry about it, lots of people are waiting til later nowadays! Me and hubby very recently had our first baby, and I didn't even think about TTC til after our wedding and I was 30 and hubby was 31 (31 and 32 when DD was born) Don't do it now because you're factoring in your age, but if now is the right time go for it

Don’t be so stupid

I was 32 when my first was born and 36 with my second. Years of ttc meant it didn’t happen in our twenties. I don’t think there is a perfect age.

@BernardBlacksWineIcelolly

Your comment made me spit my coffee

You are not too old but you just may be too stupid.

Well OP you've certainly had a baptism of fire! We don't proudly refer to ourselves as a nest of vipers for nothing you know But please do stick around, there's a lot of amazing advice and support to be had (yes, really) and if you're at the very start of your parenting journey, no matter where it takes you, you'll find fellow travellers here.

And yes there are a fair few trolling threads but 'tis sport to spot and report them and MNHQ magically deletes.

I had ds 6 weeks before my 38th birthday, you arent leaving it too late, mine is 15 now. In my twenties I didn't really know if I would ever want children.

Is mumsnet always so snarky?

I saw a thread that wasn't snarky, a few months ago. I reported it as "not in the spirit of the site", and it was deleted.

Good thread, though. We often get threads along the lines of Is £7,000 a month enough to live on after bills? Can't sleep for worrying. This is an interesting new take on the "obviously totally OK" threads.

🙄

Seriously?

No one in my circles had a baby before 30. I had mine at 35 and 37. Maybe younger would have been better but I didn't meet my husband until I was 32. I have no regrets, I had a lot of fun in my 20s and I'm much more ready now, as well as financially secure.

Op if you are this ignorant and uninformed then maybe yes hold off till you mature a bit.

Disingenuous, naive, AND offensive. Well done, OP!

No it’s not too old.

From a purely biological standpoint, fertility is highest in teenagers, early twenties and then starts a rather slow decline until mid thirties. It doesn’t drop off a cliff at 35 as people believe but starts declining faster and faster. It also carries more risk of miscarriage, disabilities etc.

So. 14-25 probably best biologically. But obviously not socially.

And depends what you are starting with in the first place!

I think it’s just touched on a few sensitivities OP

If people said "Yes, it is late to start TTC", would that make any difference to you at all?! I doubt you'd then decide you're already a bit old to TTC so you won't bother!

It's clearly a ridiculous question as pointed out already. I don't get why you would even ask it.

Biologically speaking yes it is a bit late, the late teens to early twenties are when you conceive most easily and have the lowest chance of miscarriage, or the baby having birth defects.

In reality, these days, it’s actually fairly young. Lots and lots are waiting until they are much older as they want to have all their life and finances in perfect order before ttc.

At 28 you should still have a lot of child bearing years ahead of you, so there’s no need to worry about being too old yet. I’m 34 and don’t feel too old to have a baby (though wouldn’t have waited this long to have my first) I don’t have plans to have any more though, my kids are a secondary now, and wouldn’t want to start again. But physically I would be fine (as far as I can tell anyway).

I think it is probably average although would have felt too late for me if I am honest, but that is a purely personal feeling. I had mine at 23 and 26. I was however married at 18 and 22 when we bought our house so in a better position to have a baby than a lot of people that kind of age.
If I was to think of a negative of having my children younger it is only that there is a 13 year gap between my oldest and his cousins as my SILs both waited until mid thirties to have their children.
It is such a personal decision but I know at 36 I couldn't be the kind of mum I was in my 20s and I am certainly too used to money to be a SAHM which I was comfortably for 8 years.

Ive had a bit of a mumsnet break recently but this thread has reminded me why i love it here the replies are brilliant

OP I was 32 when i had my first, 34 when i had my second and still 34 when i had my third i am not offended by your question but i do think its a bloody ridiculous thing to ask when most people start ttc nowdays when they are over 30 but im willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that in your circle people live in a little village, get married and have babies in their 20's

It's too young not too old.
Based upon the naivety of your question I think you need to learn a bit more about life first and develop a bit more common sense before having children.

I had mine at 36 and 37, later than I wanted by a couple of years but had to do ivf. In an ideal world I'd have had my first at around 32.

I would say 28 is fine. In fact I wouldn't recommend younger and if you were my daughter I'd probably be checking you didn't want to enjoy freedom for another year or two!

Yabu!

Loads of people try much older than that OP.... I tried for my first at 34 and my second at 38 and didn’t feel in a massive hurry.

The fact you think we are just "nitpicking" shows the ignorance and sheer insensitivity of your original question.

I agree with the pp who said if you're going to ask a stupid offensive question then Google it.

My wizened ovaries managed to produce a child at the grand old age of 33.

No, I was 40 when I had my first and only DD (she is now 9). My DSis was 40 when she had her first DD and her second 2.5 years later.