AIBU to worry I may be starting too late?

[satsumaautumn]

OK, I am probably BU but, is 28 late to start TTC?

I don't mean culturally, I have lots of friends who don't have children yet (in fact, most of my friends are waiting until they are older) but I can't help thinking that most of my mum's generation had children by the time they were my age.

So, is 28 biologically old to try for a first baby?

No. I'm almost 35 and am currently TTC my first as it's only now that I feel ready. A baby was the last thing I wanted at 28. I didn't meet my husband until I was 30.

What a weird thread. How could you possibly think that 28 is too old?

FWIW, whike the average age at which women have their first child has increased over time, there have always been plenty of women who chose to start later. My mum is in her late seventies and didn't have her first baby until 27. Her mum gave birth to her first child when she was 29. Neither had problems conceiving, they just didn't feel the need to rush into parenthood straight after marriage.

My dad's mum was born in 1899 and didn't have her first baby until she was 30. She had started building a career for herself at 15 and kids were not her only priority. My dad didn't come along until she was 38.

@satsumaautumn

28??? LOL! As if!

Course it ain't. Get cracking lass, and good luck!

Is this a joke?

Well I was 27 when I had DS and am one of the younger mums at most baby/toddler groups I've been to... so no 28 isn't old.

Historically I suppose it is later than average but not within the last couple of decades!

I had my first at 29.

My mum had us when she was 33 and 37 and my MIL had kids at the same ages.

My grandma had her last child at 40, about 50 years ago.

I don’t think 28 would even be considered late back then!? So...no.

Saying that. I had DD when I was awfully young and am now pregnant again 11 years later and MY GOD do I feel the difference. The biological ideal is probably very young - I sprung right back into size 8 jeans and felt brill throughout pregnancy and after - but this time around I have so much more confidence and money!

Ok so this has obviously rubbed some people up the wrong way... this is my first post and I'm definitely not a troll (do people actually come on mumsnet to ask trolling questions?)

To the people who answered seriously, thanks

JustMe81- congratulations on your baby and current pregnancy

Mumof1andacat- that's reassuring, thank you

Morgan12 - thank you so much for posting that I was feeling terrible reading some of the other messages

OhDiddums- sorry to hear about your struggle, I guess this is what I'm worried about... no way of knowing whether we will have trouble TTC until we try. Wishing you all the best luck (in response to being ready- me and DH are financially stable, own our own home, and feel emotionally ready to be parents... we wouldn't have done a few years ago so probably did the right thing waiting)

Ohyesiam- congratulations

@bobbybella hear hear. Let's just die 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had my first baby at nearly 42 and am due my second when I'll be 44.5. But don't worry, I'm not remotely offended- why would I be when I'm secure in my choices? And I remember being your age and wondering about these things.
I don't doubt you're asking a genuine, serious question. You need a scientific answer. I think fertility is probably optimum in your mid to late 20s but it hardly drops at all until much later, so nothing for you to worry about. Even if you discovered major fertility issues after a year or two of TTC you'd have plenty of time to seek help. Good luck!

I had my DTs at 28 and my third at 32. I thought that was very much on the young side.

I started trying at 36, had my first at 37. Plan on trying for a 2nd at 39.
So I think you'll be fine

I think 28 is a perfect age to start.

PetraRabbit- thank you and congratulations on your babies. Honestly, I never considered that this might be offensive to people who choose to wait (sorry if I have offended anyone ) but I am glad I'm not the first person to wonder about these things

I hope not. I am almost 31 and been trying for 2 years. Not even got pregnant yet. Gp won't send me for tests because I'm 'only 30'. Her words. Im quite literally the only one out of all my friends who isn't a mum.

@satsumaautumn and when you say "people who choose to wait" that is also insensitive. Many women TTC in late 30's / 40's may not have had the opportunity previously, for all manner of reasons, much as they'd have loved to have tried at 28.

Yes definitely too old. Practically a pensioner. I wouldn't bother if I was you.

JulyJuly19 ok I'll rephrase 'people who wait for any reason' (though I do think your nitpicking over a turn of phrase)

Is mumsnet always so snarky?

Asking if 28 is too old to TTC is very likely to rub people the wrong way OP, as many people are going to be older than that. Also this is AIBU, it's not known for sugarcoating answers.

Yes Mumsnet is snarky, and honest and your question was ridiculous and offensive. If you want facts the office of national statistics should reassure you. If you want to be told that you probably need to give your head a wobble if you ask a stupid question then stick around.

Lastly if you want some huns, unicorns & rainbows & some far less sincere reassurance then google Netmums...

I'm rolling my eyes so far into the back of my head that they may get stuck.

I didn't start TTC until I was 36 and I had my DS at 37.

Surely you know 28 isn't too late.

Use google, it won’t get peed off with your question!
Twenty-anything is young.