to not want to sign off my emails with preferred pronouns?

[AlphaBites]

We've had an email do the rounds today at work saying in the next few weeks all staff are expected to sign off with their preferred pronouns, to save any embarrassment for any staff.

I don't want to.

Can I fight this somehow?

My dh works for an American based company and says all of their emails now come with the little photo of themselves in a rainbow coloured box with their pronouns along the bottom. Fuck that shit. Seriously... not eyerolls

Oh lord who cares!

If anyones unsure they can just use "they/them" can they not?

Meanwhile back in reality i get mistaken for a man over email ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Mostly it makes me laugh when i then ring these people and theyre utterly confused as to who i am. Its brilliant. My name isnt masculine in our country but it clearly has those connotations in most of europe.

Its become a running joke in my office and as a result i get called the male version of my name by almost everyone. Im still not offended!

YABU. Why do you care? The two seconds it takes you to write (she, her) is going to have an at most miniscule effect on you. How ridiculous to not be able to expend that tiny amount of effort to make someone else comfortable. I imagine it's very likely that you have spent more time complaining about it than you would spend doing it even if you had to carry on for the rest of your working life.

already here at my office and it is really tricky to remember those who prefer which except in writing.

^Receptionist
Pronouns: she/her^

Administrative Assistant
Pronouns: they/them

I overhear so many conversation that go like this:

Is so-and-so there?

No, but shall I send them over when they return?

I don't want them, just her. Send her over.

Well, I shall tell them when they return.

What? Who will you tell?^

We are not quite woke I'm afraid.

Is it really so hard? Yes, becasue it is nonsensical, it is imposed, it is ludicrous.

I used to work in an industry that was very male oriented. I had to speak to clients in Morocco and simialr all the time, They always called me Mr Curious. I decided to take it as it was meant, an honorific, and not to complain about the misogyny. Mind back in the 80s they may have thought I was clinically insane had I done so! Oddly I didn't die!

How ridiculous to not be able to expend that tiny amount of effort to make someone else comfortable. But it is an imposed etic that makes me feel uncomfortable. Why am I not being considered?

@WonkoTheSane42 your post is quite aggressive and rude. I've come across that anger somewhere else....hmmm where was that 🤔

This is truly bonkers. Treat the whole thing with the contempt he/she/it deserves.

Bring Onthe Science
she/her
Inclusion Manager

How does this help anyone?!
Bizzarre

Why does anyone feel the need to do this?

Why dont people sign off their sexuality on emails too?! Because it's no one fucking business and of no revelance in a work place. No trans movement would make me be part of that shite.

ahem
to whom it may concern
from
whoever I am - & if you want to know I will send you a picture with my name & figure it out yourself
(& don't ask me stupid questions like that for 5 days a month or you will regret it - clue! or anytime I get a hot flush)

I work for a uni and we do this. Doesn’t bother me and it does seem to be welcomed from young students, especially international students.

It is not a cost free way to make someone else’s life easier.

It is compelled speech. It implies an agreement with a belief system which is misogynistic, homophobic and the cause of what I view as child abuse. I do not agree with this belief system - as is my right. Hence I would not agree to take part in something which implies acceptance of it.

I'm honestly at a loss as to why people think this is positive?! It is, frankly, a loaded gesture that is much more than taking a few seconds to make someone else comfortable.

How would MY preferred pronouns (she, her, hers btw because gender is non-existent and I am of the female sex which can't be changed no matter how much I may or may not want it to) have any impact whatsoever on someone else's feelings/comfort etc.

It's beyond just being ridiculous now, we are in dangerous territory...

How ridiculous to not be able to expend that tiny amount of effort to make someone else comfortable.
Because it in turn makes many women uncomfortable! Why should they endure thst discomfort?!

Mr Mrs Ms would tackle this surely?

As for the OP, the way to respond is in their own language:

I find that a very triggering request and it makes me feel very unsafe at work.

And repeat.

What is the point in the case of the OP... What are they asking the OP to do?

Several former gay rights organisations and organisations which claim to promote transgender rights are working to promote the idea that people have an objective 'Gender' (as opposed to a sex) and that your Gender can be changed by 'Identifying' as the new Gender. One of the strands of this is to get people to state 'their' pronouns at the start of meetings, in biographies and on electronic profiles. Everyone must then use these pronouns (however silly) when referring to you or they are a Bigot.

The alleged reason for this is that it makes people with Gender Dysphoria feel better (it doesn't).

The immediate intellectual foundation for this belief system, Genderism, is the work of Judith Butler if you are interested. It is hugely influential on public policy in the UK; for example in male prisoners Identifying into female prisons.

Great

It hrlps because it makes it easier for someone else who 'needs' to tell what their pronouns are. Someone recently transitioned or who prefers a neutral title. Right now, stating pronouns is highly 'othering'. If it becomes more common then it's easier.

One of my DCs prefers They. Both of my DCs are not straight. Tiny things make big differences.

Language matters.

Surely the most sensible way of doing this would be to ask people to sign their emails off with their title, so for example

Ms Dave Brown
Chief Bottle Washer

That way everyone would know that Dave identifies as a she/her without it looking so awkward at the bottom of every email. Obviously the opportunity for virtue signalling wouldn’t be as good though.

For those of you who say "what about 2 seconds to make someone else feel comfortable"......
what about my discomfort at specifying my pronouns?

Is that less important?

If so, why?

I don't like it. I do not want to draw any attention to my sex/gender in the workplace. It should be is irrelevant.
I don't like it....there are many many many studies that show how drawing attention to someone's sex has negative implications for their workplace performance/problem solving ability etc et.

So, please can you clarify, why my discomfort is unimportant?

It feels very unnatural and clunky to me. Added to which , is it really, truly going to help anyone feel better? Apart from managers collecting woke tokens, of course. Everyone else is likely to feel coerced and uncomfortable and resentment will breed.
Sometimes I consider applying for Proper Jobs instead of working for myself from home. Then I read this kind of nonsense and I'm utterly convinced that I should stay as I am because I am just not suited to navigating the modern world of employment. I wonder if I could use it to have some fun though- I am dealing with some spectacularly woke corporate types at the moment and it might stop me eye-rolling until I actually injure myself!

But it is an imposed etic that makes me feel uncomfortable. Why am I not being considered?

Same reason that you (on average) get paid 20% less and expected to do the ironing. Try Identifying out of it and see if that helps.

I'm not doing this bollocks either. I couldn't give a rats arse what name or clothes someone wants to wear but there are two sexes (other than a few medical cases) so I'll use those. If someone goes through a gneder reassignment operation then I'll gladly call them whatever they are now. From a choice of he or she. the rest is bollocks and i'm not doing it.

However, in business emails I'm not sure how often I ever use he/she etc. Usually I am writing to someone so use their name or pronoun not needed or if talking about someone else I suppose I mostly use their name, but not usually talk about others so much in that way.

Surely if you want to refer to me you can just use my name... Say you don’t have a preference, and would like people to refer to you by your name.