I arranged a night out with friends but dh had already rsvp'd to a wedding (evening) invitation

[Cockadoodledooo]

As above really. Dh mentioned months ago we'd been invited to the evening do for one of his colleagues 'in July', and he wanted to check I wasn't working. I checked my rota and I wasn't, so agreed, potentially (I've had health issues so was no way able to guarantee attendance) to go. I instantly forgot the date and he didn't write it on our wall planner, but it was in his diary. He would be the only person I know there, I've never met the bride or groom.

Anyway, last week I had some really good news re my health (have been poorly since January but hugely improved in last few weeks). I shared this with my friends who have been uber supportive of me during this time and one suggested a night out (just dinner, I'm too old for clubbing and not well enough for alcohol). Friend suggested 3 possible dates this week, out of the 3 I knew i could do 2, but checked with dh there was nothing I'd forgotten (memory issues have been a thing) and he said no, and that he was pleased I was going out. We picked this Saturday, there are around 6 of us going.

Tonight dh has said he's looking forward to going to the evening do with me. On Saturday.

He remembers our conversation re checking dates, and that he said we had nothing on, but is upset that I'm not willing to cancel from a dinner which has basically been arranged for me.

AIBU to send him on his own to the evening do?

I’d go with DH. It was obviously an oversight on his behalf to say that date was free and it sounds like he’s looking forward to it plus he RSVP’d to say you’d be attending.

You can always rearrange the date with friends.

You should honour the prior engagement & get a shared calendar so this doesn't happen again.

You can go out with your friends anytime. Go with your DH!

The bride and groom don even know you. They won't give a shit whether or not you're there. Catering for evening dos is nothing like catering for a wedding breakfast, I'd say it's fine for you not to go. If dh had wanted you to go together so much, he should have answered correctly when you checked with him.

I'm sure your friends will understand and be happy to go another day.

Do you know B&G?
I would go out with your friends but that’s because I wouldn’t go to the evening part of a wedding if I didn’t know anyone there so DP would be on his own regardless

I think IF you can easily rearrange your friends so all of you can go at a date soon I'd go with Dh, otherwise go with friends.

I’d rearrange with friends

Rearrange friends

Why would you not just pick another night to see your friends, when that's reasonably flexible and a wedding isn't?

YANBU

Your husband didn't write it on the joint calendar, and when you checked with him about dates, he didn't check his own diary and remind you about the wedding.

It's only an evening do so it doesn't matter hugely whether you go or not. He will be with his colleagues so he'll have people to chat to, and you won't know anyone apart from him.

If it's possible to reschedule your dinner with friends, you should try, but if it's not possible, I think you should go to the dinner - with apologies to your DH.

Rearrange friends. They have alternate dates. You both forgot the wedding date.

Me. It's just an evening do. He can go on his own. Great news for you OP. X

Rearrange friends, go with your DH. Don't hire a babysitter.

So rude not to honour the prior commitment whether you know the couple personally or not.

Surely the babysitter comment is a red herring, if they have young children they would need a babysitter either way (whichever event OP goes to).

I'd go to the wedding evening do and rearrange with friends x

I don't think yabu to be a little annoyed that he didnt put it on the calendar or let you know when you specifically asked about the date. I think i would still rearrange the friends thing though. Surely you can just do it another time.

You agreed to go to the wedding
You both forgot to note down the date

Go to the wedding
Rearrange your friends

I'd go to the wedding.

I'd go to the wedding. Your friends can be rearranged and you'd agreed to go to the wedding first.

Faults on both sides. You should have put it on your calendar as soon as you were aware (a shared online calendar takes little effort to maintain and can link to your mobile to remind you of upcoming appointments/ events). Your husband should have checked properly instead of telling you that the date was free.
I think that if you're able to attend the wedding reception you should, and rearrange with your friends.
Aside from the double-booking, congratulations on your improved health and may you have many more invitations to go out and celebrate things.

Are you waiting for a whole pile of people to bail in and say “go with your friends”?

I think you already see the MN view OP.

You go to the wedding obviously.

Go to the wedding. You said yes to that first. Just because you forgot doesn't mean you can renege. Friends can be rearranged, wedding can't.