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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking I may not actually be married

97 replies

Firef1y72 · 10/07/2019 17:05

Is there anyone with some legal knowledge that can help me :
I'm trying to get a copy of my marriage certificate so I can get a passport. Filled in all the info online and today got an email saying there is no record of the marriage (yes I have got all the details right).

Does this mean (please, please, please) that I am not (and never have been) legally married?

OP posts:
SoyDora · 10/07/2019 17:05

When did you get married? And where?

MyOpinionIsValid · 10/07/2019 17:06

Where did you get married?
in the UK? in a registry office or designated church? or other faith?

lyralalala · 10/07/2019 17:07

When and where is you get married? Was it church, civil, humanist, something else?

lyralalala · 10/07/2019 17:07

Also where did you try online for a copy of the certificate?

MyOpinionIsValid · 10/07/2019 17:07

When you get married - the certificate is ALWAYS given to the woman at the signing of the register - it is her property (So our vicar said)

Mrsjayy · 10/07/2019 17:08

Where did you get married what kind of ceremony was it ?

crankyassnoperope · 10/07/2019 17:08

Did you at any point sign your name in a big book with all sorts of details such as your parents' occupation? Did you have an appointment at a registry office since weeks prior to your wedding to give notice?

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 10/07/2019 17:08

Can't give too many details as husband is an abusive arsehole.

was married in a church in 1991. I put in all the info in the form for the certificate, correct date, place, my name, his name, his father's name my father's name (I'm autistic with an eidetic memory so I know all the details). And it came back with no record

OP posts:
needanappp · 10/07/2019 17:09

Where did you get married? Did you sign a certificate? You'd have needed one if you changed your name with any banks or doctors for example. If you've ever had a marriage certificate that has been accepted as ID it's most probable that your marriage was legal and stands.

hadthesnip2 · 10/07/2019 17:10

Not am expert per se, but been married twice so sort of know the ropes.......

Was the ceremony in the UK ?? If so, was in a church, registry office or somewhere else??. Did you sign something afterwards & did you have witnesses that had to sign too...?? You should have got copy of the marriage certificate at some point too. Not sure if that happens on the day or afterwards. What about guests & family etc.

MyOpinionIsValid · 10/07/2019 17:10

ooh hang on - if you got married somewhere small or obscure (like we did) the registers are only sent to the LA/Registrars when the yare full - our church only sends one book in a decade.

You need to speak to the place you got married at - they may well still have the original.

Cheeserton · 10/07/2019 17:10

Contact the church concerned.

MyOpinionIsValid · 10/07/2019 17:11

Go to the church you got married at. They will have the records

Singlenotsingle · 10/07/2019 17:11

How strange. It's a mystery, isn't it? Did you get married abroad and then not register it?

ChicCroissant · 10/07/2019 17:11

Was it a C of E church, OP?

imsorryiasked · 10/07/2019 17:13

CofE church?
And did you search for the certificate here?

Oldraver · 10/07/2019 17:13

What kind of church ? Back in 1991 not all churches were consecrated. Lots of different religions you could have the religious ceremony but have to have the legal bit at a register office

Longdistance · 10/07/2019 17:13

I got married in s Catholic Church, and they had a copy of my certificate. HTH

CCC1 · 10/07/2019 17:13

Have you tried applying directly through the local registration service where you were married? I had little help with my birth certificate from the National site but the local people were super (both of them!) - the year I was born all births were recorded as being born in an adjacent borough.

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 10/07/2019 17:14

I didn't go to a registry office at all. It was an anglican church. I do remember thinking there was something on the certificate that didnt seem quite right, not sure what it was though.

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 10/07/2019 17:14

Did you get married in the UK?

Have a look here, see if you can order a copy your marriage certificate?

Mrsjayy · 10/07/2019 17:14

Contact the parish they will have a register of it wasit an CoE wedding ?

RatherBeRiding · 10/07/2019 17:14

If you got married in a church (in the UK at least) aren't you required to sign the register? As others have said, if its somewhere that doesn't do many weddings the register might not be full.

As a starting point I would contact the church itself and ask to speak to the present incumbent and ask them to check the register.

needanappp · 10/07/2019 17:15

I'd contact the church, they should have a record.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/07/2019 17:15

I got married in a church, tried to get a copy of the marriage certificate from register office but came back with no record, tried the church and they still had it. That was a few months later though, not nearly 30years.