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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help settle a restaurant debate.

441 replies

IcedTeaForMe · 10/07/2019 13:25

I wasn't one of the people in this scenario but I was having this discussion with a friend who was.

There are five people out to dinner and they're splitting the billl. One person(my Friend) Karen has a gift card for the restaurant given to her by her employer. The gift card more than covers her share so she generously says that the rest of the gift card can be used to deduct from the bill for the other diners meaning that they'd pay around ten pounds less than they would have without Karen's gift card. One diner objects and says that the remaining bill should be split between all five(including Karen) and not the remaining four because she hasn't actually contributed any money to the bill, only a gift card that she didn't pay for.

It seems pretty clear cut to me who was in the wrong, but I'm curious to know what MN thinks?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/07/2019 16:42

It’s more equivalent to me putting a box of chocolates on the table in the restaurant

How?

MyCatHatesEverybody · 12/07/2019 16:43

Boxes of chocolates don't normally cost £50 though. And if they did, as the giver of such as gift I'd be a bit peeved if that person felt obliged to share it equally with people who were more acquaintances than friends. Also a gift card can be used to pay in a restaurant whereas chocolates can't.

SoupDragon · 12/07/2019 16:43

It's more the equivalent of someone having been given £100 cash and being expected to buy everyone's meal with it.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 16:44

@whatsthecomingoverthehill

I’m not attempting to mischaracterise anything so please don’t be rude to me. I’m just a person who has a different opinion, trying to debate and explain my train of thought as best I can. I’m interested to read others thoughts too. Saying things like that to me is very inflammatory though.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 12/07/2019 16:46

Oh give over. If you didn't post something so blatantly absurd then you wouldn't get a response.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 16:48

@mummmy2017 I did also say that i would happily have kept the gift card at any small amount too, I only threw it in the mix because I didn’t fancy anything from that shop. I’m definitely not pertaining to be particularly generous. My point was that I would either keep it to my self in any scenario orrrr I would share it. That’s all.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 16:49

@whatsthecomingoverthehill I just disagree about a gift card use, why be rude? Give over what? 🤷‍♀️

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 16:51

@MyCatHatesEverybody That’s interesting, so if you gave me a £50 box of chocolates and I opened to share with people, that would offend you?

HeronLanyon · 12/07/2019 16:52

Good lord. This is the oddest thread for a long time.

For about the hundredth time from me - rathe than pick away at those of us who have had a differing view and have explained it fully; rather than come up with a variety of differing analogies etc - just accept there are different views (not, I think about Ian!).
Constant nastiness is totally unacceptable. So what if you think differently? So what if I do? Some on the thread seem stuck in badgering behaviour.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 12/07/2019 16:52

Saying it's the same as taking a box of chocolates and then having them all to yourself is absurd.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 16:56

@whatsthecomingoverthehill

That’s my genuine opinion, I will happily agree to disagree with others too.

StripeySocks29 · 12/07/2019 16:58

Definitely not the same as a box of chocolates. What it comes down to @Cloudyyy is that you think using a gift card for payment looks stingy because it’s someone else’s cash that is preloaded on to the card and you’re afraid of looking cheap. Well I can assure you that while it’s very generous to share it with people there’s absolutely no requirement to like there would be with say a 10% off voucher, no one will think you’re cheap for using a gift card as a method of payment, it’s basically cash but with a very limited number of places that will accept it, maybe think of it as a Scottish bank note in future?

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 17:04

@StripeySocks29 I think you’re mostly correct there, except it’s more I think it IS cheeky /cheap rather than I’m afraid of looking that way. I’m sure lots of people agree with your way of thinking, there are just some of us who don’t agree that’s all. Social etiquette is such a funny thing really, so many little quirks and differences between how we think and perceive situations. Interesting. 👍

BigChocFrenzy · 12/07/2019 17:08

A pre-loaded gift card from her employer is a bonus she earned just as much as an envelope of tenners
It's real money

Sparadrap · 12/07/2019 17:14

There is an Ian in every sports club across the country. Tight, pedantic and really fussy. If you don’t think there is, you probably are the Ian Grin

skybluee · 12/07/2019 17:31

Karen goes to work. Employer gives her a bonus of £100 cash in an envelope.

Karen goes out for meal with friends, meal comes to £250, £50 each. Karen puts in £50 from her money, her friends put in £50 each. And they all split the tip.

Karen goes to work. Employer gives her £100 gift card.

Karen goes out for meal with friends, meal comes to £250, "50 each. Karen puts in £50 from her gift card, her friends put in £50 each. And they all split the tip.

It is currency.

Any gift cards I received were taxable when I was self employed. They had to be declared as income. It is currency.

It is no different than a gift in cash, or a bank transfer of someone transferring say £50 or £100 to your current account. It isn't some magical weird thing.

From what I can tell, Karen paid for her share, AND then she contributed £10 towards everyone elses (they paid £40 instead of £50 thus reducing it by £10) and she paid the tip. I wouldn't let a friend do that - I'd want it to be fair. Fair = even, so either the bill is split evenly (everyone pays £50 and an equal proportion of the tip) or everyone pays for what they ate and drink and a proportion of the tip.

This thread is crazy.

Seeingadistance · 12/07/2019 18:08

Well yes I could’ve kept quiet about the gift card and just paid my half (and I would have done that if I felt so inclined) but it happened that I didn’t really fancy anything from the shop at that time and preferred to make colleague’s present slightly less expensive for other colleague and me to buy. My point was just that it isn’t the same as money, it’s a gift card. In that scenario, both me and colleague paid less so it was a win-win for us both. If I wanted to keep the gift card, I should’ve done so by myself and not in the same transaction as her paying. It has monetary value, yes, but it isn’t cash that can be spent anywhere and it would feel wrong to me to put that in and expect others to use cash to pay. That’s just social etiquette in my opinion.

Cloudyy, this was not a "win-win" situation. It was a lose win situation, with you as the loser as instead of contributing 50% you gave 75%.

The fact that you didn't fancy anything from that shop at the time, means it would have made even more sense for you to use the gift card for your share. You could have paid your share by gift, credit or debit card, cash or by working £50 worth of hours for the shop - it's all the same!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/07/2019 05:26

The trouble with your comments about "social etiquette", Cloudyyy, is that rather than just "agreeing to disagree", you're trying to make out that your choice and way is superior to the rest of us plebs, that you are better versed in "social etiquette" than the rest of us.

Nope.

You just do things differently.

Aus84 · 13/07/2019 05:53

To all those saying that Karen should pay a share after the gift card was deducted - would you think the same if someone put in cash that they were gifted? Eg birthday money or a cash bonus from their employer?

plasterboots · 13/07/2019 07:20

The trouble with your comments about "social etiquette", Cloudyyy, is that rather than just "agreeing to disagree", you're trying to make out that your choice and way is superior to the rest of us plebs, that you are better versed in "social etiquette" than the rest of us.

^^this 100%

MerdedeBrexit · 13/07/2019 08:08

This is hilarious. It’s amazing what riles people up on Mumsnet. Loving the passion, ladies Wink
Stupidity. The sheer stupidity is what riles up this person on Mumsnet.

NewPapaGuinea · 13/07/2019 08:15

“My point was just that it isn’t the same as money, it’s a gift card”

You do know that gift cards are bought with money? Odd thinking

SoupDragon · 13/07/2019 08:22

Social etiquette is such a funny thing really, so many little quirks and differences between how we think and perceive situations. Interesting

What's "interesting" is that some people think social etiquette is for one person to pay more than the others just because they are paying with a card. To me, expecting that to happen is grabby and selfish.

WineOrGin · 13/07/2019 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 13/07/2019 08:28

My point was just that it isn’t the same as money, it’s a gift card

DD has a prepaid debit card that I can load money on. If she goes out for a meal, I could buy her a gift card for the restaurant or load money onto her debit card. How are they different things?

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