Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help settle a restaurant debate.

441 replies

IcedTeaForMe · 10/07/2019 13:25

I wasn't one of the people in this scenario but I was having this discussion with a friend who was.

There are five people out to dinner and they're splitting the billl. One person(my Friend) Karen has a gift card for the restaurant given to her by her employer. The gift card more than covers her share so she generously says that the rest of the gift card can be used to deduct from the bill for the other diners meaning that they'd pay around ten pounds less than they would have without Karen's gift card. One diner objects and says that the remaining bill should be split between all five(including Karen) and not the remaining four because she hasn't actually contributed any money to the bill, only a gift card that she didn't pay for.

It seems pretty clear cut to me who was in the wrong, but I'm curious to know what MN thinks?

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 12/07/2019 10:48

She paid her share and took £10 off of everyone else's share.

Gift cards are equivalent to cash. Vouchers are different.

If Karen was given a cash sum as a gift would she be expected to use all of it to pay for the meal? It's entirely the same thing.

beanaseireann · 12/07/2019 10:49

Karen did not choose the venue and was lucky enough to have a gift card for said venue.
She offered to help the others pay and paid the tip.
Karen is more than generous.

popehilarious · 12/07/2019 10:49

Cloudyy someone paying by American Express credit card where they earn 0.1% cashback on their purchase would also be "benefiting" by paying in this way (arguably far more than someone paying by a gift card). Do you stop and check the terms of people's credit cards to make sure none of the group is benefiting by their choice of payment method, then split the bill accordingly? How much do you value airmiles?

What a bizarre attitude to paying, I've never heard of it before!

popehilarious · 12/07/2019 10:51

Also what if you pay by cash that's been withdrawn by credit card, or was a loan with interest - you're losing money by that payment method, so presumably Cloudyy thinks others should reimburse you to make it fair?

HeronLanyon · 12/07/2019 10:53

pope but at least 7 of us agree with cloudy. So you have heard of it before !
No one no one in my friendship circle would choose to use a gift card in the way or for the purpose Karen did.
No one in my friendship circle would act as Ian did.

notacooldad · 12/07/2019 10:59

I went out on a meal last night with 17 people. Some knew each other, some didnt.
At the end of the meal we just went to the till individually and said ' I had the mushrooms. The steak and the cheesecake and 2 pints of lager and it was che Jed off. No one would know or care if what you had was paid on a debit, credit , gift card or cash. What everyone would care about was that all items was paid for.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 12/07/2019 11:04

But these weren't friends, they were club mates so more akin to a works outing. If they were friends then I might choose to treat them but it should be my choice, not the expectation simply because I'm paying by a different method that's not reliant on anyone else being there.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 11:05

As I said, a gift card/ voucher for a specific restaurant can’t be used anywhere else so she is directly benefiting from the other friends - she cannot use it without them eating with her. That is not the same as paying with cash/ a credit card hat could be used anywhere. A person gaining interest on their credit card has nothing to do with it because that would happen wherever they were in any case? It also doesn’t affect the splitting of the bill. If she would like to just pay her share along with everyone else and then go back to the restaurant on her own/ with other people and use her gift card, that would be perfectly fine too. The way she did it lacked etiquette.

RebootYourEngine · 12/07/2019 11:06

Everytime I go out no matter which group of friends or work colleagues I am with we always pay for our own. The only time the bill was split was once at a leaving party where we all chipped in extra for the leaver.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 12/07/2019 11:07

But she can use it by herself! Do none of you ever eat out alone?

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 11:09

I’ve clearly stated that she can do that, no issue. What she did was to enjoy it as a meal out with friends AND enjoy the benefit of the full card value to herself. Her cake and eating it. Ungracious.

RebootYourEngine · 12/07/2019 11:10

Cloudyyy she could have used the gift card going to the restaurant by herself. Gift cards are not only able to be used once. You use a gift card deducting the balance of the purchase each time until there is no more money on the card.

Karen could have gone to that restaurant ten times by herself and used it each and every time but she chose to be generous and use it for this meal and to reduce the others share by £10 each.

RebootYourEngine · 12/07/2019 11:11

She paid £10 off of everyone else's bills too.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/07/2019 11:12

Cloudyyy, she could have used the gift card in the restaurant in her own, why do you think she needed other diners to use the card. It's a prepaid card not a voucher.

But you'd probably have got that by now if you'd RTFT!

MyCatHatesEverybody · 12/07/2019 11:13

By your logic she should contribute more in payment even if she's paying by cash, because she wouldn't ever be in that restaurant by herself. As many of us have said if she chose the restaurant specifically so she could use her card, that's different, but that's not what happened here. Nor are they her actual friends.

Cloudyyy · 12/07/2019 11:19

@RebootYourEngine if Karen went to the restaurant ten times by herself and used her gift card that would be a very valid and reasonable way of using it in my opinion! Then she could pay her share on nights out with friends equally and there would be no issue at all. I agree!

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/07/2019 11:28

Cloudyyy she paid her share plus an extra £40 that was left on the card, thus knocking £10 off the other diners' meals. She paid more than anyone else towards the meal.

How is that not generous?

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 12/07/2019 11:37

I’ve clearly stated that she can do that, no issue. What she did was to enjoy it as a meal out with friends AND enjoy the benefit of the full card value to herself. Her cake and eating it. Ungracious.

I genuinely can't understand what you are going on about. The only possible reason for it mattering is if Karen had insisted on going to the restaurant because she had the gift card. But that didn't happen. So how on earth is it ungracious, lacking etiquette or whatever other crap you seem to be imagining?

TanselleTooTall · 12/07/2019 11:50

Ungracious? For paying a chunk of other people's food bill? Oh-kaaaay....

popehilarious · 12/07/2019 11:55

Cloudyy you didn't answer me about whether people shouldn't pay with cashback credit cards.

DieBabySharkDie · 12/07/2019 11:55

This is hilarious. It’s amazing what riles people up on Mumsnet. Loving the passion, ladies Wink

popehilarious · 12/07/2019 11:56

Your argument is that the payer is somehow benefiting from the method of payment and therefore it's rude.

plasterboots · 12/07/2019 11:57

I am finding this thread so frustrating, how on earth can paying towards someone else's meal be seen negatively....... just how could that possibly be!

It's her gift card, money, or whatever it's Karen's she can do what she likes assuming it's not to the detriment of anyone, which it wasn't!!!!

Arghhh

plasterboots · 12/07/2019 12:02

I’ve clearly stated that she can do that, no issue. What she did was to enjoy it as a meal out with friends AND enjoy the benefit of the full card value to herself. Her cake and eating it. Ungracious.

  1. She paid a share of their meal
  1. Why the fuck was it ungracious? It was a remuneration from her employer, do you want to dip into her bank account as well?
HeronLanyon · 12/07/2019 12:26

Isn’t it just that each approach really doesn’t understand the other ??
For me (I’m very firmly in Ian should not Have acted the way he did and if I had been Karen I would not have done what she did) for me it is not anything to do with the maths. No one is misunderstanding the maths or suggesting we’ve gone into math vortex.

Cloudy summed it up well and molly yesterday (molly?) - it’s nothing to do with her paying more or double etc etc.

We can all do the maths - that’s the easy bit we can all agree on (surely?).

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.