It's not a noonie is a vagina

[queenofkale]

In some ways I know already but I'm not sure exactly how to handle it without becoming that parent.

DD is 3 and I have taught her the correct names for her body parts (although she seems to have picked up vagina and not vulva)

After nursery yesterday she told me one of the members of staff told her that she is wrong and it's not a vagina it's a noonie and that she shouldn't use the word vagina. (I'm aware that 3 year olds can't always be trusted to relay information completely accurately)

I think it's confusing to use a variety of made up words and for young children (mostly girls) to be made to be ashamed of her body.

I obviously don't want her to be corrected when using the right word - AIBU to email and say this? Or will I really be THAT parent and just let it go.

Yanbu they should be teaching them the correct terms instead of stupid words like noonie. That just sounds so stupid even thinking it.

YANBU. It not a noonie.

I’d be very annoyed and would certainly speak to the head of the nursery about their staff giving wrong information to children.
Quite apart from the excruciating tweeness, the anti feminist hiding of female genitalia with euphemisms, and the fact they are wrong, they are undermining you in your DD’s eyes, as she’s been told that you got it wrong. She will now be confused and conflicted, totally unnecessarily. Go in with guns blazing, OP!

I don't think an email is necessary; just mention it next time she goes in and explain that at home you use the correct names for anatomy and you'd hope they'll be fine with that.

I don't agree with telling children off for using the right words for anything; there is evidence that children are statistically less likely to be subjected to abuse when they know the right names for their body parts. Maybe just remind nursery of that if they object.

It’s not your vagina either as that’s internal if you want to actually teach her the right words... it’s your vulva and labia.

MrsElijha. In my OP I do say I use the word vulva also but she mostly uses the word vagina which at age (only just 3) I'm ok with at the moment. I'm aware that vulva is more accurate but vagina is surely better than noonie. At least there is little ambiguity with what she's talking about noonie could be a soft toy

The nspcc says we should use the correct terminology to avoid possible confusion if a disclosure of abuse occurs. Childcare workers should 100% use the right term

I’d be very annoyed and would certainly speak to the head of the nursery about their staff giving wrong information to children.
Quite apart from the excruciating tweeness, the anti feminist hiding of female genitalia with euphemisms, and the fact they are wrong, they are undermining you in your DD’s eyes, as she’s been told that you got it wrong. She will now be confused and conflicted, totally unnecessarily. Go in with guns blazing, OP!

Perfectly put!

Aargh - bold fail. I was trying to quote Babdoc there!

I use the catch all term ‘private area’ at school...but if a child came to me with the anatomical terminology then that’s what I would be happy using. Fu Fu, noonie, tuppence..it’s all nonsense...

Agree they should use the correct term but then you need to start correcting your daughter about using the right term. I'm not sure why you would have been using the term vagina with her but if using the correct words then it needs to be them.

Yanbu OP. What did you daughter say when you told her the teacher was wrong?

I’ve always used the correct names to my 3DD - to my mind it removes any embarrassment surrounding them and normalises it, just becomes another body part like arm, leg etc. YANBU

I didn't actually ask what she had say to the nursery worker (it's a private nursery not a nursery school.)

I have just asked her now and she said that they said in school it's a vagina and here it's a noonie

I think I will send an email because the deputy - who is in charge of the preschoolers is off for the rest of this week and we are away the next two weeks and then it will seem like too far away to be worth mentioning. Will punt for firm and clear not not OTT.

Does anyone have a link for the NSPCC guidance for using the correct words? All I can seem to find it the PANTs stuff but it's not included in that.

It's just another body part, I don't understand why you'd call it anything other than what it is. Surely it's better children know the proper terms for safeguarding reasons.

Sorry for all the typos wrestling baby and DD cloning all over me.

Climbing case in point

yanbu OP. in our house and at school kids are taught as part of sex ed through the years in primary the correct terminology for all body parts. staff as part of the early years curriculum should and are aware that this is how body parts are taught!

Id be pulling the nursery up on it. Remind the nursery that theres more nurseries in the area....... and youre not afriad to look elsewhere. As this is a private nursery remember at the end of the day you as the parent are the customer. harsh but true. is it an older nursery worker? I find the younger ones are more on it and happier using words like penis etc than some older workers who still get all "oh its their innocence....." and hot under the collar!

How ridiculous a 3 year old would sound saying vulva or vagina 😂 get over it it’s a noonie or a tuppence

What is ridiculous about using the correct name for things?

Blonde87 There is a great deal of research which shows that children who are taught the correct words for their anatomy are at a lower risk of being sexually abused than children who don't know their body parts.

You may think it's ridiculous. I think it's perfectly normal for any child to know their body and entirely reasonable for a parent to expect nursery to back them up on this. If you have any experience with safeguarding children you'd know that this isn't scare tactics or removing children's innocence. It's simply helping families try to keep children safe.

The nspcc says we should use the correct terminology to avoid possible confusion if a disclosure of abuse occurs.

Send them the NSPCC guidance.

How ridiculous a 3 year old would sound saying vulva or vagina 😂 get over it it’s a noonie or a tuppence

I’ve never heard anything as fucking ridiculous as calling a vulva/vagina a “tuppence”. What the hell would a thruppence be??

I’d think the parent was brain damaged if I heard a kid say that. Also, no one would know what the hell they were talking about. Helpful.

And noonie is such a ridiculous term in itself! I’ve literally never heard of it until this thread (I have heard minnie or cookie though which are almost as bad). So in that way it’s worse than, say, using willy for penis, which while it could be argued as twee at least isn’t ambiguous. I would definitely raise it; no need to be angry, just in a matter of fact way. I don’t think nurseries should be able to override parents on these things, which is essentially what they’re doing.

Yabu as if you are evangelising about using correct anatomical terms, then it's a vulva, not a vagina.