It's not a noonie is a vagina

[queenofkale]

In some ways I know already but I'm not sure exactly how to handle it without becoming that parent.

DD is 3 and I have taught her the correct names for her body parts (although she seems to have picked up vagina and not vulva)

After nursery yesterday she told me one of the members of staff told her that she is wrong and it's not a vagina it's a noonie and that she shouldn't use the word vagina. (I'm aware that 3 year olds can't always be trusted to relay information completely accurately)

I think it's confusing to use a variety of made up words and for young children (mostly girls) to be made to be ashamed of her body.

I obviously don't want her to be corrected when using the right word - AIBU to email and say this? Or will I really be THAT parent and just let it go.

I’ve never heard noonie either.

The thing is, three year olds are telling you things all of the time. They are telling you that they went to the beach and at the skate time you are trying to watch to see if Malcolm can use the steps on the slide for an observation that you are supposed to be doing on him whilst also wondering why Susan isn’t wearing her hat outside. Did she bring it out and it’s fallen off of has she come out with it? You can’t go over and ask her because of Malcolm and the steps.

And that’s how you miss the child saying in the middle of her trip,to the beach story that Uncle Dave touched her noonie. To that child the information no more dramatic than the fact her bucket and spade were blue. And I might miss it because I don’t know what a noonie is or I think it’s the name of her dog or something

I was always taught to use the proper words back in the 80’s - a friends mother told her my mum was using the “Indian” words for them whatever that was supposed to mean!
My DC does know correct words but has inevitably also picked up widgie etc which is also completely fine IMO - would definitely be cross with childcare provider saying anatomically correct terms are wrong!

widgie

What's a widgie? 😲 That's a new one.

I must have been the most stupid child ever, it came as a complete shock when I learned that vaginas existed, and I had one. I thought there was only the outside area. 😳

@WhyTho are you telling me that if a child came to you and said “Uncle Dave touched my noonie” you wouldn’t guess what they were talking about? You wouldn’t ask some follow up questions to confirm?

I can’t believe you’re actually serious. I have visions of you shouting “I can’t understand you” and tugging your ear in the manner of ignorant Brit speaking to a foreigner abroad

How often is your daughter talking about her vagina/vulva/labia to have this issue!

Vagina isn’t the bits that she’s talking about and Noonie is made up.

Either use vulva or don’t bother.

Mine know all the anatomical names but don’t generally use them-neither do my adult friends though!

I wouldn’t use vulva in general conversation with anyone and certainly not sexually!

The children at school tend to all say privates and my kids say bits which encompasses everything. My
Bits hurt/my bits itch/he kicked me in the bits etc etc!

Most adults know young children use different terms for their privates, I’ve never heard anyone use the word vulva, even adult women! So to not get a bit suspicious if a 3 year old saiid’ uncle Dave touched my noonie’ is ridiculous imo.

www.nspcc.org.uk/globalassets/documents/advice-and-info/underwear-rule-parents-guide-children-autism.pdf

www.nhsggc.org.uk/about-us/media-centre/news/2017/04/parents-urged-to-use-proper-words-for-parts-of-their-body/

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/children-body-parts-words-advice_uk_5901b563e4b081a5c0fadcc5

What do you think of this in the PSHE curriculum for year one? We had much discussion as a staff about sending a letter to warn our parents ( in a very conservative area) that we would be teaching body names, but when I suggested this was the wrong word for girls and it should be vulva I got laughed at.

We teach both and say that one is internal and one is the external entrance. Children do just get it and aren't really bothered.

I'd be happy teaching that, my staff seemed to think vulva was a step too far!

My 3 year old DS says Penis and Vulva. It's only been a slight amusement (issue) recently with his enjoyment at shouting my baby sister is coming out a vulva 🤦 half correct but I have known a child that was abused for months and no one knew and a local school had issues with abuse from a TA so I want to know exactly what my child means when he tells me something 🤷

meh.

We teach the correct terminology but use other words (and the correct words interchangeably) in day to day chat.

Just like we use bum, tummy, trotters, mop, pins, for other parts of the body.

MNers always love to be so woke about vulvas. There's nowt wrong with using alternative terms. There's nowt wrong with using anatomically correct terms. Let's just crack on. Surely the best way to pick up when your dc have suffered abuse is to promote and open path of communication and spend time listening to them, even when all they seem to talk about is Mashems or that millionaire Ryan who is everywhere at the minute.

DD knows the correct words, but uses "twee" ones. She also swaps between school language and home language, for example at school it's bottom at home bum or butt.

I work in a school and I wouldn't flinch at someone using the correct terms. I also wouldn't be baffled by a child mentioning noonie ,minnie,weewee ,privates etc.

However I did find it a bit weird that in a class of 30 y3 kids not one of them knew the right words for penis,vulva/vagina and testicles.

I want to know exactly what my child means when he tells me something 🤷

He's your child, surely you'd be familiar enough with his language and chosen names for things ...

At least there is little ambiguity with what she's talking about noonie could be a soft toy confused

Exactly. My 'noonie' is my comfort blanket that I had when I was little ..... and, er still have

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz
I don't mind interchanging between correct terminology and home / other words. Not many children are going to use vulva. The bit I object to is teaching it as if the correct word for the body part in the picture is vagina when it isn't. If I'm going to be asked to teach scientific vocabulary I want to use the right vocabulary just like any other science lesson.

so I want to know exactly what my child means when he tells me something 🤷

I get that other people may not understand what she is saying but surely you would?

I suspect the reason people don't use the word 'vulva' is because it's one of the ugliest-sounding words ever. Vagina is a more pleasant word.

@Passthecherrycoke really? It would never have occurred to be that mop or was supposed to mean vagina and likewise it would be so unusual for uncle George to be touching his nieces vagina that in the place of an ambiguous word I wouldn’t leap to the conclusion.

I do agree that its better to teach them the correct words.
But i struggle to believe anyone would be confused if a child disclosed using the word noonie or any of the others. It's pretty clear they dont mean their arm isnt it?

*noonie apparently my phone doesn’t think it’s a real word either

'noonie'. My god thats a new one on me, and possible wone of the most twee I have heard.

DD knows the anatomical name, but we use 'privates' as slang.

@Nevergotmypuppy I can’t speak for the majority of the population but for forgeiners this kind of slang is confusing AF. I really struggle with British colloquiums which make no sense. Add in them coming from a child and if I hadn’t heard it before I might just think they made it up. The British also have an unusual variety of euphemisms for vulva which I am now aware of thanks to mn but I never would have guessed otherwise. Especially flower. WTAF?

Apart from the fact it is a picture of a vulva, not a vagina, those Jigsaw terms are inconsistent. E.g., it's not a belly button, it's a navel, it's not a tummy, it's an abdomen. And it may be my screen isn't very clear but what is the difference between the picture of a bottom and an anus?

And as an aside, do all you anatomically correct people tell your children to wipe their anus after a defecating, or do you use the word bottom?