To tell him he's behaviour is annoying me?( new guy )

[resteer]

4 months ago I started seeing a new guy.
The last week his been annoying me.
Half way through a conversation on WhatsApp he will read my message then not reply for a hour or more later but at the same time he is keep popping on WhatsApp.
Last night he did it,yet he was snap chatting me whilst he wasn't replying and we had a convo (yet wasn't replying to my WhatsApp)
This morning I woke up and he text me morning etc so I replied,he was replying every 2 mins then he hasn't read my last message but has been online.
It drives me up the wall.
I've seen what he does when he's with me.
He gets the message on his home screen ...puts his phone down then forgets.
Do I tell him it bugs me?
Or will he think I was crazy ?

You do sound a bit needy. As in you need him to respond quickly and constantly. I think you need to examine your own insecurities and try to address it.

He might not spend his days sitting staring at his phone ready to jump to attention whenever you message him.

He most likely has an actual life to be getting on with in between messages. Fancy that.

next you will be bitching that when you are having a shag with him that he doesnt put his fucken phone down....

What is his behaviour is like when you are actually together? That's a lot more important.

If you both reply instantly, when does it end? Don't you need time off from chatting? If you're bored and ill just watch a film, or a TV series, or read a book.

I know it's ridiculous but I just get a bit down when I see he is online or been online yet isn't chatting to me.
I end up feeling a bit worthless like I'm not important enough for him to chat too.
Then all the questions
Who is he chatting too
Is the conversation better than ours
Etc etc

Do you really think you should be the one and only person in his life? That he should never communicate with another person? Of course you don’t. When you get upset about him not replying instantly, you are behaving like you think that way. So if you start falling into that thinking, remind yourself how wrong it is and go find something else to do.

You sound quite insecure, and a bit needy when it comes to his attention.
It doesn't matter who he's talking to, or what about, that's none of your business.
Being in constant contact with someone isn't healthy, and I've had people in the past ask me where I've been if I don't answer a message within a few hours. Well, as I don't have my phone surgically attached to me, I often won't see messages for hours at a time. Or maybe I did see it, and wasn't in the mood to reply, or had to do something else, there are lots of reasons people don' respond instantly,
I turn off all the notifications I can, and hate that people can see when I'm online in Whatsapp - if I had my way, no apps would show this, or when messages are read - if people want, and have time, to reply, then great. If not, that's fine too!
When phones had wires, humans were free!

OP chill out, this checking up business just makes you look insecure and needy and it's a massive turn off in a person.

Personally I'd ditch WhatsApp to wean off it and stick to texts.

Then all the questions
Who is he chatting too

Sounds very controlling and insecure. I'd work on yourself before pointing the finger as you'll drive yourself nuts or him away eventually. I've been there before, it's not a nice feeling but for me it was down to trust after being so messed up in the past. But you can't let the past ruin your future or control your present.

Op, when you say he’s hard to figure, Does that mean he’s not really emotionally available to you? I mean when he’s with you is he really there, or do you feel like part of him is out of the room , and you never really get his focus? Well you do, a little bit, and that feels so nice that you keep hanging in there to get a bit more?

Sounds to me like you need to work on your self-esteem and anxiety levels because wayyyy too many feelings are riding on his watsapp response time. His watsapping doesn't sound unusual in any way. If you say something you will either freak him out, or give him weird anxieties around what is perfectly normal behaviour. Neither would be a good thing for your relationship.

I wonder if he's the right person for you?

Have you ever had someone text you constantly and get stressed with you when you don't reply? It feels suffocating, and makes texting into an emotional chore rather than a fun exchange

I used to be like you OP

Its so NOT worth it , believe m.
YABU

Disclaimer

Mine simply involved mobile text messages . Was before the likes of WhatsApp were around.

OP, you really need to rethink how you communicate and deal with people, you are coming across as both needy, high maintenance and really a little crazy

BUNNY BOILER ALERT 🚨

You can’t both keep replying every 2 mins. How would you get anything at all done during the day?

He is always on WhatsApp
So clearly he gets a lot done during the day
Even when we are together he's phone is going off with people WhatsApping him
He's at work now and he is on and off every 5 mins.
We spoke this morning but haven't spoke since about half 9
Yet here he is chatting away to god knows who
It does drive me mad.
Clearly they are more important

I won't lie - when I was 'dating' before - and when Whatsapp was involved - sometimes I'd do the whole (especially if I was really keen on a man who maybe wasn't that into me) - 'when have they been online? 'who are they speaking to etc' I don't think I was that sure how being online on whatsapp worked - e.g. could be online but not speaking to anyone etc. Drove myself mad looking for replies on forums about little blue ticks meanings etc.

As soon as I came out of that mindset and realised it's a communications tool etc then things worked better. And I started dating and within time met DH.

OP - if he is always online on whatsapp and people are texting him on it every minute or so then that means it's either part of his work and/or his social life. You have to wait for him to contact you.

I think as others have said your communication styles are vastly different. Don't you have friends you communicate via Whatsapp and Snapchat with?

Bonkers

OP, and I mean this kindly, you need to step away from WhatsApp and go and read a book or something!

He is allowed to speak to other people, tell him his behaviour is annoying you and it will probably be the last you see of him.

If this was a man writing about a woman he’d been seeing for four months U can imagine what the responses would be!

Do you chat to your own friends on WhatsApp? That’s what he’s doing. You need to interact with lots of people in life, not just your partner.

You’re going to go insane if you worry about it this much.

resteee imagine you are having a chat to your friend in real life over coffee. You partner walks up and starts nudging you, wanting you to stop talking to your friend and start talking to him. Or to switch between two conversations constantly. Rude rude rude.

Clearly they are more important
Yes, you are not as important as his other mates or his mum or his brother or his client right now. That is completely normal and healthy.

If he were obsessed with you. If he made everyone else second fiddle, people who were there for him before you, and will be there for him after, then that would be well creepy.

I wonder, have you had a series of abusive boyfriends? It's like you think normal is weird and obsessive is expected.

You sound hard work