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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Be honest -you wouldn't employ a person with certain mental health issues, would you?

243 replies

sportmax · 10/07/2019 07:27

That's ludicrous- if they're competent and fit for the job - of course I would. That's what I imagine most people would say.
But I don't think people are really being honest with themselves.

What if the person had a mental health issue like social anxiety, would you still want to hire them? Probably not.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 11/07/2019 08:08

I’d happily employ someone with mental health problems but I’d be very reluctant to take on someone who didn’t take responsibility for their interactions with others. If someone felt it as acceptable to be unpleasant to others, they wouldn’t get the job.
Having mental health problems doesn’t make you unpleasant.

Fibbke · 11/07/2019 08:09

Not sure how you'd spot that at interview cherry

CherryPavlova · 11/07/2019 08:16

I think it might not be obvious in an interview (although one poster is saying unpleasant people need jobs too, so assuredly doesn’t hide it) but it is often obvious with how they treat reception staff etc. It also tends to come out if you start talking about organisational values such as teamwork and caring.
If was hidden at interview they’d struggle to complete their probation; that’s not about discrimination on grounds of mental health. Plenty of lovely, kind, supportive and funny people with mental health problems.

Fibbke · 11/07/2019 08:21

Yes, and as I've said ive employed people knowing full well they've had depression or other mental health issues.

We had an awful situation with one guy who decided to stop his meds and became more and more erratic and started sending images of suicide to his colleagues, it was really upsetting to other staff. That experience would make me wary in future.

Babyless · 11/07/2019 08:22

It would depend on the disorder. OCD can make for very diligent employees! (But I would watch out for their mental health).

myself2020 · 11/07/2019 08:28

It depends for what! not as a PA or team manager, but as a lab scientist, accountant etc - yes.
i currently have a lab scientist with pretty extreme Aspergers - he’s great as long as we leave him in peace.and a highly anxious contracts assistant (again fine as long as we don’t give her the complex stuff - she happily does all the boring bits nobody else wants to do)

mig58 · 11/07/2019 08:30

Totally agree. Life is tough enough for someone with extreme anxiety without folk like this putting their tuppensworth in. I know my limits. I would love to work again outside my home but have had to accept agoraphobia makes me unemployable. I work from home but is heartbeaking not being able to do whatever I want to.

AriadneesWeb · 11/07/2019 08:35

Plenty of lovely, kind, supportive and funny people with mental health problems
And plenty who aren’t good socially and tend to come across as withdrawn, aloof, cold, stand-offish, even if that’s not the case. People with social anxiety often aren’t liked because they seem disinterested and others feel uncomfortable. But if you aren’t liked for whatever reason you don’t get hired. Which is shit because you still need to pay the bills.

CherryPavlova · 11/07/2019 08:44

AriadneesWeb A world of difference between being quiet, or even aloof, and unpleasant. I’d take a nervous or shy person but not a full of themselves, rude person.

Snowy81 · 11/07/2019 08:49

Yay I’m finally looking at back getting into work, now that I have my meds under control, and a grip on my bipolar (only diagnosed a few years)! I have a bloody good Linked profile, and experience. Now this link has given me the kick in the stomach I didn’t need. Might as well put the application forms away, if people really won’t employ me when I’m honest.

AriadneesWeb · 11/07/2019 08:59

A world of difference between being quiet, or even aloof, and unpleasant. I’d take a nervous or shy person but not a full of themselves, rude person.
That’s exactly my point. A person with MH difficulties who doesn’t have good communication skills may come across as rude when actually they just aren’t good socially and don’t do or say the right things.

Gamechange · 11/07/2019 09:38

@Snowy81 - Look for employers that have carried out Mental Health First Aid training. As its not a legal requirement (yet) those that have done it already are the ones that will have the most understanding. There are a lot of people on this thread who are uneducated in this area. Its not their fault. They are being honest because right now they dont have the understanding.

Aj63 · 11/07/2019 10:10

Mental health issues are not a reason for bad manners or behaviour. If you can do the job and manage the required inter personal relationships I would employ. However if you come across at interview as needy or demanding because of your condition you shoot yourself in the foot.

foxtiger · 11/07/2019 10:43

Depends on the issue. I'd love a person with social anxiety (disclaimer: I am not actually an employer) because I think I probably border on it myself and it would be refreshing not to have to deal with a gushy conversationalist. I guess someone prone to shouty aggressive outbursts would not be a sensible choice on a help desk, nor would someone whose conversation is basically free association be able to explain things well to children or people with dementia, for example.

AriadneesWeb · 11/07/2019 10:44

Mental health issues are not a reason for bad manners or behaviour
How would you regard someone with social anxiety who didn’t smile enough or make eye contact? Or who didn’t make polite small talk? You may regard it as rudeness and bad manners but the person may not know what to say, or be too shy, or feel flustered and nervous, or they might be doing their best and think they’re smiling enough but they aren’t, or maybe it just comes across as an awkward half smile. And this is how people discriminate against those with social difficulties, by assuming they’re just rude.

Nat6999 · 11/07/2019 11:04

Sportmax have you got a formal diagnosis? The civil service is very inclusive for anyone with a disability or long term health condition. If you have a formal diagnosis for your MH condition & declare it on your application you will get an interview under the guaranteed interview policy. They are very accommodating to all disabilities & there are a wide range of jobs available, take a look on the Civil Service website.

janebond007 · 11/07/2019 11:13

The civil service is NOT inclusive, speaking from experience here! They are one of those sectors that think the guaranteed interview scheme is enough then do SFA once you're employed

I read that the majority of disability tribunal claims were from the civil service

Nat6999 · 11/07/2019 11:20

I worked for 27 years as a civil servant, I was disabled for the entire time I worked there, I was allowed increased sick leave levels, if my sick leave was through my disability it wasn't counted. As I finished they were recruiting, I know that of the 20 new starters at my office at least 6 were disabled.

Aj63 · 11/07/2019 11:54

I have worked with people with mental health issues for more than 30 years. It not an excuse for bas manners or bad behaviour as I stated. I have worked in prisons,secure units for youth offending and the probation service
I also manage my own struggles with depression and anxiety. I am saying misbehaving or rudeness in any setting cannot be blamed solely on health issues mental or physical. If your symptoms cannot be managed to an acceptable standard for a work place setting you will not be employed. You can't tell the boss to stick it then say" oh having bi polar moment" and expect that you get a pass. You can explain at interview you have problems with eye contact and anxiety and stare it won't be an issue in the role you are interviewing for. If the condition you suffer is not controlled to at least that extent don't think you are ready for an interview. Depending on the postcode lottery that is NHS there is help out there

TheTitOfTheIceberg · 11/07/2019 12:06

If you have a formal diagnosis for your MH condition & declare it on your application you will get an interview under the guaranteed interview policy.

Not quite - you will get an interview if you have a declared disability AND you meet the minimum criteria for the post (i.e. can demonstrate all of the essential criteria on your application).

The Civil Service is a huge entity with dozens of different departments and 440,000 members of staff so it's hardly surprising experiences are going to be mixed. My personal experiences have been positive but I accept that others' will have been less so.

sportmax · 11/07/2019 18:09

Thanks for all your replies. It's a bit of a mixed bag. I can't speak for any other mental health issue other than my own but I have never had a day off from work due to it. I am formally diagnosed - yes. I have had cbt on the NHS in the past but unfortunately it didn't really help and I am now just trying to do a lot more self help.

The roles in applying for are admin roles -there's a bit of taking calls from the public etc in some of them. I am very quiet at work and I would say that yes- my social skills need improving though I don't really know how to go about this! I worry alot that people think I am rude, stuck up or not a nice person because I don't approach people or am chatty. The truth is, if someone chats to me, I will quite happily smile and chat but then I really don't know what to say and I feel awkward Which probably makes the other person feel awkward too. I genuinely would love to chat to people but it feels like a friggin disability

OP posts:
SportMax · 11/07/2019 18:10

I have never declared it on an application for fear of being judged.

OP posts:
Gamechange · 11/07/2019 18:54

What kinds of self help have you tried so far?

sportmax · 11/07/2019 19:09

Gamechange
Tbh not much. Just cbt and mindfulness.

I'm doing lots of research at this stage and have sort of self diagnosed myself with cptsd. I had an emotionally neglected childhood and the book I'm reading just feels like the author is writing about myself. There's loads of stuff that I'm still learning about myself. It does feel a bit overwhelming.

OP posts:
Aj63 · 11/07/2019 19:51

I am sorry you feel so overwhelmed
Please seek professional help and don't be tempted to self diagnose. It is a slippery slope.

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