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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People who won’t pay to get in anywhere

68 replies

StripeySocks29 · 09/07/2019 20:20

My parents are coming to visit this weekend, it’s a 6 hour drive to get here and I know we’re going to have to spend Saturday and Sunday either at the local garden centre or going to one of the small, boring towns nearby and walking around the shops, because they will not pay to get in anywhere or go anywhere that you have to pay for parking.

We’ve got at least 4 National Trust places the same distance away as the nearest town centre, plus a theme park and a couple of kids petting zoo type things. But if I suggest taking a picnic to any of them they always say it’s too expensive, yet they’ll walk around the town centre buying tat that they don’t need and spending at more on lunch at a chain restaurant than it would have cost to get in somewhere, so it’s not that they can’t afford it.

It was the same when we were kids, I can’t remember even once going somewhere that you had to pay to get in.

AIBU to be sick of them being so tight?

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 09/07/2019 20:22

Yes. Don't give them a choice. It's your house, so you're in charge of the weekend. "Today we're going to X, the kids love it and we'll take a picnic."

And if they point blank refuse, go without them.

Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2019 21:00

And buy a subscription / parking permit for NT. Then they won't have the excuse of paying parking

PooWillyBumBum · 09/07/2019 21:05

YANBU that would irritate me.

Loopytiles · 09/07/2019 21:06

It’s only the occasional weekend. How old are your DC and what do you usually do at weekends?

How much is NT entry for two non members, with parking? Probably £30? I’d prefer to avoid paying that if I were them!

Theme parks are £££ and not to everyone’s taste, ditto zoos.

TabbyMumz · 09/07/2019 21:06

Why not buy them annual tickets for national trust as a birthday or Christmas present

Catapultaway · 09/07/2019 21:07

Just buy the tickets in advance and tell them you got free passes.

stayathomer · 09/07/2019 21:12

I recently had this conversation with bil. Him, mil and sil are all on welfare ( him and all are doing courses), and he said he wished they'd go a few more places instead of saying 'who can afford that?' Then paying the equivalent for an expensive cake or a book or something. Good idea above to just tell them!

Pipandmum · 09/07/2019 21:14

Just buy the tickets! If you get a family membership it will probably be cheaper even if you don’t go again in the year. If they say parking is too expensive just ignore them! Just smile breezily and say ‘my treat’! You’re not a kid anymore you don’t have to do what they say.

HermioneMakepeace · 09/07/2019 21:19

I cannot stand misers. My PIL would be the same. Wealthy, but tight AF. Tell them what you have planned, if they don't want to go, then leave them at home.

Loopytiles · 09/07/2019 21:46

It’s not necessarily “tight” to prefer to spend money on food and drinks out than NT/zoo/ theme park entry. Although here the OP seems to have resentment about her parents’ tightness/preferences when she was a DC.

Leeds2 · 09/07/2019 21:50

Who would be paying for your parents' entrance to the places that you would like to go to? You, or them?

SolitudeAtAltitude · 09/07/2019 21:55

Oh, I am a bit like your parents, it's a habit from when I had no money

Also, I don't actually like NT places (twee, smug and no dogs allowed) or theme parks (too much queuing) or zoo's (poor animals)

Just let them do what they like

MissCharleyP · 09/07/2019 21:55

I remember this when I was young, driving round and round and dad trying to parallel park in a tiny space because he just would not ever pay for parking. They (my DPs) are a bit better now but he still mutters under his breath about it. I’d just go wherever you want to go personally.

EskewedBeef · 09/07/2019 22:07

I can see both sides to this. NT entry would seem very expensive if you don't have membership and no particular interest in the place you're visiting, Theme parks are only good value if you want to go on all the rides.

You want to do something more eventful than killing time though, which is perfectly reasonable. Is there a decent playpark with cafe or ice cream stand, a summer fete/charity fun day/dog show being held nearby, a council-owned parkland similar to a National Trust place but cheaper parking and no entry fee, a scenic waterway to walk, a town museum (usually free or very cheap entry)...?

Jayaywhynot · 09/07/2019 22:28

Am I your mother!! I'm the same, hate spending money on admission fees, I think it stems from being skint when I was younger, when every penny counted. I hate parting with money even now, I'm not tight just careful, clearly remember the days when I skipped food to feed my daughter. Better in my pocket than what I would think as wasted

C0untDucku1a · 09/07/2019 22:32

One of my friends is like this. Wont
Pay for parking, what days out she does pay for she
Generally has to be asked to leave as she will be there past closing! Infuriating.

maddening · 09/07/2019 22:35

Get them a national trust membership for Christmas and get yourself the family one, you won't regret it and you will have a choice all over the country.

Summertimeatthebeach · 09/07/2019 22:35

Urgh sounds like my exils. Trawling the shops and eating only at bloody bhs cafe!
Grim.
Never ever went anywhere with them and the dc.

Just leave them in the house with the TV remote and go out.

theworldistoosmall · 09/07/2019 22:39

Would they enjoy going to National Trust? I don't.
What about zoos? I don't and I know a lot of people who don't.
Theme parks are only good if you go on the rides.

It might not be about money, but about paying for stuff they don't enjoy.

jennymanara · 09/07/2019 22:46

NT and theme parks are expensive though. NT you can easily pay £12 per person for what is basically a nice park and a not very exciting stately home.

VeThings · 09/07/2019 22:50

NT is really expensive if you’re not a member. I wouldn’t want to pay to be surrounded by loud children. I could get the same effect walking round the local park.

BackforGood · 09/07/2019 22:50

What Loopytiles said.
I also agree with Jayaywhynot - if you've been poor, then, even when you have money in the bank, it is difficult to spend it on what seems a wasteful and unnecessary thing.
Do agree with all the posters suggesting you could buy them annual passes for Christmas or birthdays though - problem solved.

jennymanara · 09/07/2019 22:51

Why not suggest taking a picnic to somewhere cheaper or free? If you have 4 NT trust places you must have decent countryside and/or country parks.
I suspect you have a NT membership so are not appreciating how expensive NT are for single entry. And I would pay £12 for a lunch happily, but that feels much better value than paying that to be in a pretty ordinary park.

Original poster

StripeySocks29 · 09/07/2019 22:54

I genuinely think they would enjoy NT, they like history and being outside, and they go to museums if they’re free. They don’t even weigh up if they’d like to go somewhere or check what it offers, it’s just “do you have to pay to get in?” And they’ll walk miles to get a free parking spot.

I think I’ll just tell them in advance that we’re going to x place and I’m paying, then they can’t complain.

They also never ever buy anything full price in the shops, but will buy tons of crap they’ll never use if it’s got a discount sticker on, it must be psychological.

OP posts:

theworldistoosmall · 09/07/2019 22:57

Just because they enjoy museums doesn't mean they will enjoy NT. Personally, I can get lost for hours in museums.

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