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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is a grave in my garden?

409 replies

IsItATomb · 09/07/2019 19:21

NC for this as the pics are outing.

Moved in to my house in April and it has what I thought is a really ugly raised bed in the garden. Now the summer has arrived I've realised it gets no sunshine on it at all so isn't a raised bed after all.

DD and I were pottering our there this afternoon and we came across this plaque on the raised bed.

WTF.

Is it a coincidence or is it a grave?!

To think there is a grave in my garden?
To think there is a grave in my garden?
OP posts:
TeaDrinkingBumbleeBee · 09/07/2019 20:36

Ooooh how interesting! Sorry.not.sorry to place mark!

Over600Ecalypts · 09/07/2019 20:37

The concrete looks like it could be paving slabs. Might it be a raised bed made from scavenged slabs?

The plaque might be just a memorial marker?

Dull, I know....

Tellmewhyidontliketuesdays · 09/07/2019 20:38

I think it's very sad, the idea of a memorial garden lying unattended, with an old plaque. I wonder if it was the old lady's beloved son, and now there is no one remembering him. I've made myself more sad just thinking about it now!

LoulabelleAndCo · 09/07/2019 20:39

Interested to know what this is Shock

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 09/07/2019 20:39

If you chop the trees down the spirits will haunt you forever

MyKingdomforaNameChange · 09/07/2019 20:39

It doesn't look like yours - no raised bit, it's just a gravestone (small!) lying flat in the grass.

Hope yours is just a memorial garden - but please don't start digging until you've found out, just in case!! :)

StrongTea · 09/07/2019 20:40

Our local council has cemetery records available. Just need name and approx year of death to search. If you have previous owners name etc you may be able to find where she is buried and if anyone else is in the lair.

FelixFelicis6 · 09/07/2019 20:40

Arghhh scary!

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 20:41

I agree if there's someone buried there you can't just dig them up. You need permission for an exhumation.

If you have a local university with an archaeology department maybe they could advise on how you could find out if it's a grave. Soil analysis or whatever.

PancakeAndKeith · 09/07/2019 20:42

I think it’s a memorial.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 09/07/2019 20:43

I doubt it’s a grave, and if it was it wouldn’t be in a raised bed, the body would surely have to be six feet below ground level.

I agree it’s a 70s memorial garden that may well have had ashes in it at one time.

Biancadelrioisback · 09/07/2019 20:46

I'm pretty sure we have a grave in the front garden. A "rockery" about the side of an adult male was the only bit of the garden which wasn't left to go to shit. Now we've dismantled the rockery, nothing will grow there.
Watching with interest!

TabbyMumz · 09/07/2019 20:47

Are you sure that's not a massive compost heap?

Pinkyponkcustard · 09/07/2019 20:49

Creepy af!

BanginChoons · 09/07/2019 20:50

I think probably a memory garden. When i replace things on my daughter's grave I can't bear to throw them away so I keep a memory garden at home for her.

As a side note, it is legal to bury a baby who was stillborn before 24 weeks gestation at home, this wouldn't need to be registered anywhere.

Original poster
IsItATomb · 09/07/2019 20:50

I'm definitely going to do some research before I go ahead and dig.

If there is somebody there I wouldn't want to disturb them, rest in peace and all that!

It could well be just a really horrible raised bed although it's also behind my garage which shades it a lot and has been there since the house was built.

A memorial garden is a huge possibility and it is sad that it's been so neglected Sad

OP posts:
Purpleseastars · 09/07/2019 20:51

Ooooh that is odd! I’d get someone else to dig it up.

Sorryisntgoodenough · 09/07/2019 20:52

Can’t wait to see how this unfolds. I know someone who is selling their house that has a cremation urn full of their loved ones ashes buried in their garden that doesn’t need to be declared -so they say!-they can’t decide whether to dig them up and take them to their new home or leave them in the home they loved! Shock
not the welcome gift I would like to discover as a new house owner.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 09/07/2019 20:52

I have a grave in my garden (DD1 is buried there) totally legal, we live in an average three bed terrace in London.
You do have to put it on the deeds though so your solicitor should have noticed it.

I wouldn’t go digging, you need Home Office permission for exhumation even in your own garden.

DS and DD2 play on DD1s grave all the time. I wouldn’t worry about turning it into a play corner.

ReganSomerset · 09/07/2019 20:53

What exactly do plan to research if the lady that lived there before is dead? It's very unlikely to be a grave as too flat on top as PP said.

user87382294757 · 09/07/2019 20:54

Have you checked the deeds to see?

ImABeanBanana · 09/07/2019 20:54

A family friend who passed away had her husband burried in the garden. When she died, my DGM moaned about the next of kin selling the house and that the poor man wouldn't be in peace. I wondered at the time if she had permission and whether the new buyer knew as it would have been a good 70 years ago.

TerribleTwosPhase · 09/07/2019 20:58

What happens if it is a grave, do you need to leave the body there? Hope it's just a memorial garden!

usernameuser · 09/07/2019 20:58

Get digging, OP

Tooner · 09/07/2019 20:58

Well I never knew it was possible to have a grave in your garden.

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