To think there is a grave in my garden?

[IsItATomb]

NC for this as the pics are outing.

Moved in to my house in April and it has what I thought is a really ugly raised bed in the garden. Now the summer has arrived I've realised it gets no sunshine on it at all so isn't a raised bed after all.

DD and I were pottering our there this afternoon and we came across this plaque on the raised bed.

WTF.

Is it a coincidence or is it a grave?!

That’s a lovely way of thinking about it *MrsButterBosom”.

The dead never want to be forgotten and I think thousands of years of this need, this want, this urge, shouldn’t be trumped by an early Victorian idea of “respect” born out of grave robbing.

YES!!! I do a little whoop every time I see a healthy, rational attitude towards death. Thank you @MrsButterBosom.

If I had a grave in my garden I would be ecstatic.

No way would I go knowingly disturbing graves or ashes or trees planted in memorial.

Someone's laid their loved ones there, who am I to start digging or chopping things there.

Also, that way trouble lays.

I live in a converted Chapel with graves
From 1800 to 1980
The founders and their families are buried there
It's now a closed graveyard
I feel great respect for them and feel very privileged to have them as part of our property
Only are a few are tended and if they leave flowers I will always remove them when they are past their best
My children have grown up with them
And our mantra is ' it's the living that could hurt you' not the dead

I'm an archaeology nerd too. But this is about something in living memory. I would check if the parents are still alive/mind. If they have passed on, I wouldn't take issue with someone excavating something then - graves are for the bereaved, not the dead iyswim.

Surely it's more likely to be where his ashes are scattered, or a memorial tree than a grave!

How sad that somebody lost their special son. If it were me I'd keep it and put flowers round it. I don't like the thought of disturbing anyone at peace. I still worry about disturbing the ancient Egyptians!

@TitsInAbsentia it depends on how old the couple were when they died 1980 was 39 years ago so someone who died in 2018 aged 70 was 32 in 1980!!

No news yet, I'm waiting for my neighbour to speak to her neighbour to see what she knows.
Her neighbour was a friend of the lady who lived here and is going to try and get in touch with the remaining family to see what she can find out or if they want the plaque back.

If it turns out that he is buried there, in body or ashes then I'll restore it and make something nice of the area.
If not I'll take it down and put the plaque under my cherry tree so he won't be forgotten. That is unless the family want the plaque of corse.

I wouldn't disturb the dead if I knew they were definitely in there, especially the grave of a child.

Sounds perfect and respectful OP.

We used to live in a house that was on the site of an old chapel and we had 3 very old, full-sized gravestones in our garden!

I was only a child when we moved there and I wasn't at all bothered about them.
It is only now I am (a lot) older that I would be a bit more about them!

I read something that it's estimated that 105 billion humans have ever lived. So I'd say it's a safe bet that there's remains all around us all of the time. That's a lot of dead people.

Well yeah, gin it is a lot of dead people, but it's also a big planet, lots were not buried and those that were were not evenly distributed. Many will be long decomposed too.

ashes maybe?

Chances are it’s a memorial garden, I have 2 in my garden. Which I honour and look after.

You don’t need to dig up and remove the remains but I think OP is fine to dig up and look to make sure what is actually there if she wants to. I don’t feel that is disrespectful. Interested to see what the neighbour says Nearly everything in London is built on graves btw, anytime any new building goes in they need a year of archeology work because they’re always disturbing plague grave pits or old forgotten cemeteries or Roman graveyards!

That sounds like a good plan OP and entirely respectful. If they were all looking down I’m sure they’d be chuffed that they’re all being remembered as a family and their best interests are being looked after.

Probably a memory garden.

I hope it is just a memorial garden and I think its lovely that you'll be willing to keep the plaque if their relatives don't want it.

I wouldn't disturb the dead if I knew they were definitely in there, especially the grave of a child

Thats very good of you OP perhaps a little unusual garden feature?, poor little child deserves a decent resting place!

Be intresting all the same of you can find out more about him?

my neighbour is thinking of burying her husband's ashes in her garden and then having a plaque in his memory. I didn't think it a good idea because what are you going to do if you move, dig it up?? My friend has her husbands in a special made for purpose plant pot with a plant above the ashes if you know what I mean. At least that way you can take it with you if you move instead of creeping someone out who stumbles across it in their newly bought property.

Maz54

Quite agree and the idea of a garden burial is well OK for now but the house sold and other relatives what to pay thier respects?, perhaps not.

I do know of a farmer who had a shepherd who was very dedicated to his job and when the poor old boy passed away they buried him up on the pastures where he worked most of his life. I've seen the plaque that cebrates his life although its on a bit of private land the farmer had the deeds or a covenant set so that people could vist his resting place in perpetuity!.

OP - your story is now appearing in the Daily Fail online.

I thought if you dug somewhere and found bones you had to report it to Police, who came round and investigated.
I'm not sure I'd want all that fuss and upheaval.

Ruth Rendell used a very similar idea at the start of A Fatal Inversion..., it’s one of her best imo.