To think there is a grave in my garden?

[IsItATomb]

NC for this as the pics are outing.

Moved in to my house in April and it has what I thought is a really ugly raised bed in the garden. Now the summer has arrived I've realised it gets no sunshine on it at all so isn't a raised bed after all.

DD and I were pottering our there this afternoon and we came across this plaque on the raised bed.

WTF.

Is it a coincidence or is it a grave?!

We had something similar growing up, we were convinced it was a grave. It was actually a bomb shelter buried!

Oh I hope there's no bodies, that would really freak me out :(

Weirdly I was talking about something similar the other day my great auntie had a stillborn in the 50s and my great uncle buried him in the garden as that was the done thing back then could be a similar situation! (It doesn’t look like their old garden so you haven’t bought there old house!)

@bubblegumunicorn my in laws had a stillborn daughter and were never told of where her remains went,we hope they were not incinerated the apparent norm in the late fifties was to bury them at the feet of deceased adults in their coffin

Could well be a grave. You are allowed burials on your own property with certain conditions eg distance from water courses, depth of grave. The plaque seems in remarkably good condition to have been a long time ago actual burial. Perhaps it's just a memorial as stated. No details of person, date of death etc so more likely a memorial than a grave.

I’d be putting that house straight back on the market.

Could it be a pet that was the companion of the previous owner for many years? Some women consider pet dogs and cats their child.

@IsItATomb Keep us updated with what you find! My guess is that it’s a memorial garden but hasn’t been managed for a long time more than likely because of the last owner being unable to.

Blatant place mark for when OP finds the bones.

I’d hate to fine a scattering site because I’d feel guilty about doing anything with it, and sad that someone’s remains had been lovingly put there and now there was no one to stick some flowers down once in a while.

That’s why I’m going for a burial at sea.

Scattered ashes will have composted by now, and should not be detectable. Would give great crops, though!
DMum always said if you wanted good apples you needed to bury a cat under the tree
Those of you that would sell and move, have you thought about all the people who have lived and died on this planet and where the remains are now?

Oh that is so sad. My pregnant hormones can’t cope.
Poor lady 💐
I’m pleased to hear that you will keep the plaque if the neighbour doesn’t.
Forget Me Nots might also be appropriate but they do spread like wildfire!
Would still love to know if her husband was called Harold...

We had a brilliant rose garden where the cats, dogs, guinea pigs and fish were buried.

I'd be surprised if there were any older houses around that weren't built on top of or very close to graves. I wouldn't worry about it but it sounds like a memorial garden anyway

Place marking

Just leave it in peace and put some shallow-rooted, shade-loving plants around it!

any news yet, OP?

Placemarking.

Op please don't dig the area just to satisfy curiosity. They wanted to lay their son to rest in the garden, the respectful thing is to leave him in peace. I've had miscarriages (albeit early) and I chose to bury what I passed under trees in my garden,unmarked just in small cardboard boxes. It brought me peace & helped me to grieve as a mother knowing I laid them somewhere gentle and beautiful at home.

If it was a long time ago as pp have said there were mostly home births and i dont know what the procedure was regard to stillborns so i would check before you dig there

they may have laid their baby to rest in the garden i would deffinatly want to make sure it was just a memorial before disturbing a possible grave

I’ve had 10 miscarriages and am a huge history/archeology nerd. If I could have buried my babies I really love the idea of someone finding them and investigating their story! I know a lot of people won’t find it “respectful” but I’d rather someone “disrespect” mine or my babies graves of it stopped them being forgotten entirely. After all that’s the whole reason we bury people - so they are never forgotten. Why we built pyramids and long barrows and all sorts of monuments. The dead never want to be forgotten and I think thousands of years of this need, this want, this urge, shouldn’t be trumped by an early Victorian idea of “respect” born out of grave robbing. OP, dig if you want or research and see who might be there and leave it alone. Either way I’m so happy that this family are being talked about , wondered over and remembered! Who here will forget the time we all came across a possible grave in a garden on Mumsnet?!?!

If it was an old lady who lived there before, and the house was built in the 80s, I'm not sure on the maths of it being a resting place for a stillborn, I think it's a plaque that's come from elsewhere and been forgotten.

But for all those saying leave it out of respect etc, it's the OPs garden and I'm sorry, that is one ugly ass concrete so why shouldn't they do what they want? It's not like they're saying they will put anything they find in the bin, the OP is clearly being respectful.

Would be a great start to a novel

@MrsButterBosom I never thought of how many dead bodies are around and about on the planet! Are they all around us then?