I'll try to be brief.
My family is very close. We see each other often and have get togethers for family birthdays, etc. They are also very big on holidaying abroad anywhere between 2 and 5 times per year.
In recent years, my Mum and Dad have become very wealthy. This is down to my Dad's career taking off and he now has a very senior position with bonuses, etc.
Anyway, my mum decided in January that we should all go on a big family holiday. This would include me, DH and DD, my sister's family, our aunt and uncle and grandparents.
I am recently self employed and I explained to her that we couldn't afford it. There was no 'prewarning' of this holiday - just one day we were told they were booking it and did we want to come? She was very disappointed to hear this. I explained that we had been given no time to save and weren't planning on going on holiday outside of the UK this year. She did not want to accept this and insisted we come she would pay for us.
At this point, I declined her offer. I (firmly) said no because it didn't feel right and I only wanted to go if we could pay our way. She kept on and on, insisting this may be the last holiday we get with my GPs, how great it will be for DD, etc. She insisted on it and so booked the flights and hotel for me, DP and DD. She wouldn't take no for an answer.
Fast forward to now and money is tighter than ever. Cash flow has been difficult over the past month and I'm only just managing to make ends meet. We booked a 3 day UK trip for this month before Christmas and I told my mum that we'd have to do it on a shoe string because things are so tight. She then went on to lecture me about how we can't be paying for frivolous things such as trips away when we are in this situation, etc, etc.
But it seems now she is delighting in asking me for money for things to do with the holiday. I feel sick to my stomach because we are so broke. She called me today to tell me they have all booked the fancy airport lounge for when we are going, and the cost of the taxi that will take us to the airport.
I have been saving, but it has been sporadic as I need to prioritise bills, food, etc. We've also had to buy new clothes for DD, although we have mainly got things from charity shops, second hand, etc.
I just feel so resentful of this whole thing. I feel pushed into the holiday. I feel judged for being so skint and I feel forced into spending money I never wanted to spend in the first place. All of this money could be saved/put to better use elsewhere but at this point there's no option. I feel like me and DP will be killjoys on this holiday because we won't be able to throw money around like everyone else. Or, if we dare to spend anything that we will be looked at like we are scroungers who got a free holiday.
I feel awful and anxious about the whole thing. I'm killing myself to make sure we have enough money to cover everything and will be taking my laptop and working for the 2 weeks we are away as I really can't afford not to.
IABU to feel this way? I know I should have been stronger and really, categorically said NO to going but she made me feel so bad about it then went and booked it all - how could I have ever told her we weren't going. What a bloody mess.