To have snapped

[woodlock75]

I imagine I am being unreasonable because I'm 6 months pregnant but hey. I work one day a week at DH's company. It gets me out the house, makes me feel like my life is more important than dirty nappies. There are a team of about 7 people who all do the same role, and I sort of slot into their team most of the time (unless other things desperately need doing).

Anyway, there is one girl (she's about 25) and she drives me crazy. Constantly complaining about work. How heavy her workload is (she actually does a hell of a lot less than everyone else), how much harder her workload is than everyone else's (the work is exactly the same), you cannot have a conversation with her without her talking about herself. She is physically incapable of asking anybody else a question about themselves, and every conversation is completely one sided. I walked to the shop with her the other day (45 min round trip) and I think said about 4 words because she just incessantly talks about herself. She's one of those people who if you have been to Tenerife, she's been to eleven-erife.

I came in 5 days last week because somebody was off sick. By the end of the week I was utterly drained by her. I came in today for my usual day and by 10am she was driving me crazy. She's just been screeching in my ear for 35 solid minutes about how stressful her workload is and how much harder the work she gets us and I have just snapped at her 'DO YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF' and stormed off. I am now sat in the disabled loos having a little cry because I feel bad for snapping but she was driving me up the wall. I know this was long, but I just needed to get it off my chest. Feel a bit guilty having a bitch about one of his employees so can't really talk to DH about it

Everybody else would have been thinking it, the good news is you have the excuse of pregnancy hormones so can get away with it.

Yes, its not great or professional to publicly shout at someone at work, but sometimes its justified!

No she shouldn’t constantly go on about It but you must understand different people find different things stressful.

Also you work what 1 day a week normally? She presumably works more hours than yourself so......

Also you work what 1 day a week normally? She presumably works more hours than yourself so...

why is that relevant?

Oh, gosh. I feel for you. People like this are so annoying. I actually think it’s good you said something, so don’t feel bad.

What did she say? I bet she has the hide or a rhino.

Hide of a rhino

Awkward. What are you going to do after your 'little cry' in the toilet?

Go back out and apologise. We don't choose work colleagues like we do friends so there will always be people who wind you up. It's very unprofessional to scream at someone like that.

She probably sees you as the boss's other half who swans in and out as and when she feels like it...

... and farted?

If not yabu

Oh bless you! Yes, blame it on hormones!
She would've tested my patience too!

Maybe it's the wake up call she needed.
If it was me, I would apologise but also say her constant negativity is quite draining and as you're pregnant you have a lower tolerance atm.
Don't be too hard on yourself - she sounds extremely self absorbed.

@TheDarkPassenger I had exactly the same thought when I seen the title 😂.

OP I feel your pain, there's one everywhere.

I work one day a week at DH's company

Hmm and you get to be protected by virtue that DHs company is presumably also your company by default. She wont have the luxury of complaining to the boss about his wife.

@TheDarkPassenger exactly!

LOL @TheDarkPassenger!!!

@woodlock75 - Don't worry. Go back in to the office and say "I'm sorry I snapped at you. It wasn't professional and I apologise" and then crack on with the rest of your day.

It may have been a rash thing to do but perhaps the others in the office were dying to say something to her about it too and you just got in there first??? She may go very quiet (as she'll not have anything else to chat about) but don't feel you have to address that. The peace and quiet will be appreciated I feel sure of that.

Awh OP.. what a pickle... its only a little one though, don't spend too long feeling embarrassed. Dont blame you for one second and most people who work with her will probably more than understand.
You have to plan re entry from the loo. You could just say sorry and forget about it... eg Swan back in "Sorry for my little outburst - Pregnancy Hormones," and then just carry on as if nothing had happened and then go to lunch and don't come back... or sneak out the back and hope they don't notice.
Either way, it does sound like she was being v annoying, and probably doesn't realise but just says whatever is in her head at the time. She sounds quite young. It wasn't ideal to snap at her but she clearly crossed a line and maybe it is time someone was honest with her and took her to task - it might save her a lot of similar situations in the long run. Maybe rehearse some nice/kind ways of saying it in future because while you let her continue, it will continue to rile you.

YANBU to have snapped. We have to learn how to behave, and this woman obviously hasn't learnt not to be so self-centred. A quiet word from a kind friend a long time ago would have been better, of course, but you've hopefully made her think.

I would apologise, but don't accept her shit anymore. Change the subject in future. Mind you, I have a friend like this and I just seethe and don't see her very often

She wont have the luxury of complaining to the boss about his wife

op said she didn't want to talk to her DH about it

Aw the dark passenger got in there before I did

I wouldn't have done what you did but would definitely have put a stop to her whining a long time ago. All you needed to do was tell her what you said here, that others are doing the same job as her and you don't hear them complaining. May be she was trying to tell you indirectly as the boss's wife that the workload for the workers is too much but this is not the way she should have gone about it. And if I was too annoyed I would have told her that please I am running low on patience today and would like some peace and quiet whilst I am working.

Not my company! Definitely not mine. Started by him, run by him, nothing to do with me apart from the one day a week I come in.

I've come back in and said 'sorry for snapping! Baby must be in a bad mood today!' And been awfully cheerful and offered to make cuppas for everyone. Hopefully everyone must just think I'm being a mad pregnant lady, which I probably am. Although, I think I would probably find her fucking unbearable if I wasn't pregnant too

@JoanMavisIcecreamGirl - but the staff member has no recourse to complain does she? She cant go to her boss, it was his wife who shouted at her. So it would be pointless in the girl complaining.

Im not sure why you dont understand that. No the OP wont tell her husband will she ....

You might be hormonal but this would piss anyone off to some extent! I agree that everyone else was probably thinking the same if she is as bad as you say. Just go back in there, apologise for your outburst but not for what you said. If she questions it further try to explain that she is making it difficult for others to be around her 'as we all know how stressful this job is already'.

Cross post. I'm sure it will blow over and be fine now, you've apologised for snapping which is the right thing to do.

I'm afraid there's no way that anyone thinks you're not 'the boss's wife' and by default one if the owners

Do you think it might be possible she believes she's raising a real issue? Could you have a private chat and apologise again and suggest she talks with her line manager about the workload? Or any development/training/support needs.

That would be a kind and constructive approach, while not taking any responsibility for solving her problem for her. It might also make her think rationally whether she has a real complaint or if actually she should just stop being a whiner for no good reason!

If I was one of your other co-workers I would be out celebrating my lunch now that she had been told. Not ideal i know but she obviously needed telling. Nobody can work with that kind of crap all day every day.

Lets hope she takes note and actually does something about it like SHUT THE FUCK UP...

What did she say to your apology?!

but the staff member has no recourse to complain does she? She cant go to her boss, it was his wife who shouted at her. So it would be pointless in the girl complaining

of course she can complain, though regardless of who OP is I am not sure what she would expect to be done about it? other than telling Op to be nice and apologise, which she already has.

I work for a family business and tbh if anything its the people who are related that get told off more harshly than those of us who are not!