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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have snapped

76 replies

woodlock75 · 09/07/2019 12:26

I imagine I am being unreasonable because I'm 6 months pregnant but hey. I work one day a week at DH's company. It gets me out the house, makes me feel like my life is more important than dirty nappies. There are a team of about 7 people who all do the same role, and I sort of slot into their team most of the time (unless other things desperately need doing).

Anyway, there is one girl (she's about 25) and she drives me crazy. Constantly complaining about work. How heavy her workload is (she actually does a hell of a lot less than everyone else), how much harder her workload is than everyone else's (the work is exactly the same), you cannot have a conversation with her without her talking about herself. She is physically incapable of asking anybody else a question about themselves, and every conversation is completely one sided. I walked to the shop with her the other day (45 min round trip) and I think said about 4 words because she just incessantly talks about herself. She's one of those people who if you have been to Tenerife, she's been to eleven-erife.

I came in 5 days last week because somebody was off sick. By the end of the week I was utterly drained by her. I came in today for my usual day and by 10am she was driving me crazy. She's just been screeching in my ear for 35 solid minutes about how stressful her workload is and how much harder the work she gets us and I have just snapped at her 'DO YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF' and stormed off. I am now sat in the disabled loos having a little cry because I feel bad for snapping but she was driving me up the wall. I know this was long, but I just needed to get it off my chest. Feel a bit guilty having a bitch about one of his employees so can't really talk to DH about it

OP posts:

PeoniesarePink · 09/07/2019 13:28

You're very lucky you are pregnant and can blame your hormones.

It's not really very fair on your DH to have done this. But it's happened, and you did the right thing to apologise.

mangomama91 · 09/07/2019 13:29

@Thedarkpassge 😂😂 took me a min or two to click then hahahaa

mangomama91 · 09/07/2019 13:30

@TheDarkPassanger sorry got your name wrong

Limpshade · 09/07/2019 13:32

I think next time you snap, you need to say, "You wouldn't have such a massive workload if you just got it done rather than bloody talking about it all the time!"

Don't worry OP, hormones can creep up on us all. Pre-DD2, I was working in a very tight knit office where it was commonplace to get a friendly ribbing. A senior colleague made a very gentle joke at a mistake I'd made and I burst into tears on the spot. I was so embarrassed that I'd cried at such an innocuous comment that I then doubled down on my shame and waddled ran to the toilets. What made it even worse was the really sincere apology she gave me afterwards that made me cry all over again

Honestly, it sounds like you have done everyone a favour and at least you have a (kind of) good excuse!

francescadrake · 09/07/2019 13:32

Unfortunately, your position as the boss’ wife matters here. She’s probably terrified you’re going to fire her.

Anyway, glad you apologised. She does sound unbearable.

Amibeingdaft81 · 09/07/2019 13:42

Wow I’d be so pissed off with you if I were your DH

There’s annoying people in the world. Shocker.

2littleninjas · 09/07/2019 13:45

Don’t worry about it Op, you did the right thing to apologise and pregnancy hormones can make anyone go crazy. Just carry on with your day now and try and be a bit nicer to her in the future

OKBobble · 09/07/2019 13:45

The rest of the employees were probably glad you did it and maybe she will reflect on whether she needs to go on all the time. In the long run it would seem as no harm has been done.

justasking111 · 09/07/2019 13:50

How does your DH feel about her work?

I am a bosses wife, she may just have been nervous. You only turn up one day a week normally, so really you have to keep it zipped. You could have politely asked her to zip it because you had a migraine etc.

implantsandaDyson · 09/07/2019 13:52

I think you've fucked up a bit tbh. You work one day a week in your husbands business because it "gets you out of the house". This is her workplace and her colleagues. She may irritate the absolute shite out of them too but when push comes to shove you're the one floating in and out. I've worked in similar situations - you'll not come out of it smelling of roses.

diddl · 09/07/2019 13:53

How bloody rude of you-pregnant or not!

Sparklypen · 09/07/2019 13:53

Don't worry - you've apologised. OTOH you've posted this easily recognisable situation on a public website ..

ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 09/07/2019 13:54

It's funny that so many posters ar saying 'blame hormones'

But I bet if the ops dh dared blame her hormones for her being unprofessional, he would be a sexist prick.

diddl · 09/07/2019 13:54

"This is her workplace and her colleagues"

Yup-and her livelihood.

justasking111 · 09/07/2019 13:56

I worked right up to the birth in the business, was back in harness within days doing the VAT albeit at home. I never sounded off at employees, we needed them.

ChuckleBuckles · 09/07/2019 13:58

Feel a bit guilty having a bitch about one of his employees so can't really talk to DH about it

Have you told him yet OP, it might make life tricky for him if she complains, also the other staff will be looking for his reaction too and deciding exactly what kind of boss he is.

Iggypoppie · 09/07/2019 13:58

She might talk a lot because she is nervous having to work all day with the boss/boss' wife...

Eastie77 · 09/07/2019 13:58

I thought the OP's opening sentence was going to read "...and farted"

anonymousbird · 09/07/2019 14:01

I am so sorry that you appear to have come across my sister. She is batshit crazy, a totally lazy self obsessed narcissist and you can snap at her all you like.

Good of you to apologise, you were only saying what everyone was thinking and if it IS my sister she will be fired soon for telling the boss how to do his job/run his company/ he's been doing it wrong all these years.

mbosnz · 09/07/2019 14:02

I would have thought that if she was conscious of the fact that OP is the boss's wife, she wouldn't have been whinging about the work load the whole time. . .

Laiste · 09/07/2019 14:02

It might be better if you didn't go back OP. Being out of control enough to start yelling at your families employees who you normally only come into contact with once a week isn't good.

PaperFlowerTree · 09/07/2019 14:04

Awwww OP I think most of us have been there with that one very annoying person who won't STFU! Of course you realise that you shouldn't have shouted at her, but you've apologised and hopefully it will make her think going forward about how and what she talks about.

In one place I used to work there was a lady there who's desk was facing mine (so we faced each other) and she used to talk/sing/make noise all the fucking time, even if no one was responding or even looking at her . I actually used to turn my hearing aids off/take them out so I could easily tune her out. I fell PG with DD1 while I worked there and my patience was so limited that I spent 7 months close to fucking tears everyday.

I now have a DD2 who talks or makes noise non bloody stop that I bribe her to stop talking for a little while (I use 20p's and a timer, for every 20 minutes she doesn't talk crap at me or make noise she gets 20p). Unfortunately taking my hearing aids out doesn't help because she resorts to tapping me on the shoulder which equally gives me the rage after about the 100th time (not remotely kidding). I have actually developed misophonia and phonophobia over the course of the last few years and really struggle with repetitive and constant noises, it makes me anxious and makes me nauseous and I end up snapping or crying (occasionally both)

MissDollyMix · 09/07/2019 14:04

If she's as bad as you say she is, everyone else in the office was probably silently cheering you on. You've (rightly) apologised, nothing more needs to be said, just don't do it again.

tanstaafl · 09/07/2019 14:05

Yanbu if only for ‘eleven-erife’

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 09/07/2019 14:06

To all those having a dig at you, your colleague isn't exactly being professional by complaining about her workload to you. She's clearly hoping that you'll pass this on to your DH rather than dealing with it herself.
I can't blame you one iota, she sounds extremely tedious.

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