To want a thank you?!

[crispysausagerolls]

Went to a wedding a few months ago. 5 hour round trip which necessitated a hotel stay. Plus bought a very nice gift from their list.

Not so much as a thank you text, let alone a card. Nothing. How is this acceptable? AIBU to want a thank you?! And, if not, can I do anything about it?

And did you not ask for a high chair? Unless it was catered in their house, surely the venue could find one?

I did and it was at their house but the caterers hadn’t been notified so didn’t have one.

"I will ensure DS does"

Fucking LOL

jameswong

Why is that funny? My mother made sure we all sent out thank you cards growing up!

My wedding was also at the beginning of May, our thank you cards will be going out hopefully Monday. So keep an eye out! I think three months is the cut off.

Tbh though OP, they sound like rude dicks so I wouldn’t hold your breath.

after 6 months yanbu

A few of our friends have sent us quick photos of them/their baby/whoever with the present and a few words of thanks and that is absolutely all that is needed. It takes no time at all and there is no excuse.

I think the etiquette is that you have a year from the wedding to send the thank you cards. It can easily take six months with waiting for the photos etc

No no no. Standard etiquette is 3 months. Who on earth would think that it's acceptable to wait a year to write a thank you note for a gift?

I was told it was a year too.

Equally it’s acceptable to provide a wedding gift up to a year after the wedding

Based on this thread I’ve got probably 80 guests thinking I’m a rude fucker for not sending thank yous as it’s been over 6 months

Equally it’s acceptable to provide a wedding gift up to a year after the wedding

Who does this though? Can I please ask your reason for taking so long to send your thank yous? Just curious

We had this with some friends. The gift we’d bought was from a website that didn’t give any confirmation of delivery but only payment. After a reasonable amount of time DH asked them if we still needed to hang on to the confirmation email. Turned out a bunch of their thank you cards had gone missing in the post. They felt awful and that people would think them rude but sent additional thank yous with an apology.

Admittedly, I did think it rude until I found out it was a genuine mistake at which point, all forgotten.

I may be weird but I wrote most of our thank you notes on honeymoon - waiting at airports, sitting by the pool. A few at a time when it suited me meant they were all done and ready to post when we got home.

I did too Gatehouse but have been sneered at on Mumsnet for not having ‘better things to do on honeymoon’ . I just felt it was the courteous thing to do and writing a few notes a day really doesn’t take long.
Some time ago there was (yet another) thread about this on here and one indignant bride said she couldn’t possible write her thank you notes sooner as she had been on a three week honeymoon and then needed several weeks to ‘settle into’ married life - whatever that means ?

I wrote ours the day we returned from honeymoon - 2.5 weeks after the wedding. But I had already thanked everyone via phone for their gifts 🙈🙈🙈 I get all itchy and squirmy if I haven’t said my thank yous!

On honeymoon is dedication! I would be worried about them not arriving from abroad (or did you post at home?)

You know, weddings these days absolutely drive me mad! I'm sick of the entitled way that anyone having a wedding expects people to run around after them, giving gifts and staying at expensive hotels, not to mention the hen weekend away, decorations, gifts, the planning dinners and time spent listening to bride and her pathetic Princessy ideas and palaver of everything having to be perfect, colour coordinated, eco friendly, vegan etc or the bride has a breakdown. I've not been to a wedding for years as my friends are all single / sensible but I've seen it secondhand through my kids whose friends are getting married and it shocks me totally every time. Annoys the fuck out of me as well because my kids work hard and have no money, but are guilted into paying for stupid stuff in the name of weddingy plans. Asking for money for the effing honeymoon then not having one? Not giving you a gift but expecting one from you? Total cheeky fuckery from beginning to end. I'm so old I've seen this before from wedding to divorce many many times and I'm very cynical. Weddings are a total waste of everyone's money and time. Marriages are a different matter. Rant over.

My reasons are-

2 year old DS in hospital multiple times
Stressful
Court case relating to a rogue trader
Burst pipe at home on return from a weeks uk honeymoon in winter meaning 6 months of upheaval and stress trying to put everything back together again
Some time in therapy
Hospital appointments for myself
Sever mental health issues of a sibling

We haven’t even had a chance to visit friends over the last 6 months and our relationship which is a newly married couple is strained as no time together, our DS is not getting all the time he deserves from us either

Unfortunately most of our friends don’t know about all of the above as I feel quite embarrassed that it’s been such a shit 6 months and worried people would think I was cursed

bebeboeuf

Christ - what a run of terrible luck. I’m sorry for you!

Not thanking people is incredibly rude. If a thank you is no longer considered important, by the same token, nobody should be obliged to give a gift.