To think I wasn’t an “ignorant bitch”..

[SmileEachDay]

At a local lovely place yesterday paddling in a river. Large family showed up, one woman in particular was swearing really loudly - they had 4/5 kids between them and my DC there. I was > < this close to asking her to tone it down, but actually felt a bit intimidated.

As I was getting DC into shoes at the edge a massive lump of wood missed my head by about a centimetre and splashed into the water. I said nothing, just carried on.

As I walked off with DC they were all laughing - one man said “sorry” but I was a fair way up the steps by then.

Sweary woman yelled “you didn’t need to apologise it wasn’t even close to her”. Other woman said “is she antsy- ignorant bitch”

Then Sweary Woman yelled “IGNORANT BITCH” at me.

Fortunately DC too interested in looking for bugs to have noticed...

Sounds like my neighbours had a day out yesterday then . They enjoy bellowing and swearing every other word around their kids. But if anyone so much as looks at them (always sounds like ww3 has or is about to break out which is alarming at first) they get a mouthful. Studiously ignore them and you get 'stuck up cow!' yelled at you as you walk past. Can't win. Hope they didn't spoil your day!

I think you probably made her feel inadequate because you were able to rise above the behaviour that most people she spend time around would have challenged. She didn't know how to process her feelings of inadequacy, clearly couldn't do nothing so she had to verbally abuse you.

She wanted an excuse to make you feel threatened and you didn't give her one. That meant she couldn't assert her superiority by engaging in a slanging match and or be physically aggressive which is where her skills lie.

Outwardly she was insulting you but inwardly, she knew she was the lesser person.

You had the misfortune of encountering what I'd call Mutant Pond Life. Chav is too good for people like these.

It's always people like these that manage to breed and multiply more mini mutants.

You did the right thing in ignoring their attempts to goad you into a fight.

Just be glad you are not them.

Ignorant: 'one who ignores?' Jeezum crow. (Head, desk, thump).

Cannycat I remember as a teen I was with my friend and her father who was a brigadier in the army which I think is high up and some low life types shouted at him over a parking space. He smiled indulgently and remained so calm. You did the right thing for sure

Ive had similar in the past and it does make you feel horrible about the situation because it's so unprovoked and threatening in tone, like they're looking for a problem even thought they're the ones causing it and you've done nothing wrong.

In my case, I was at a local attraction and after a long walk my dd and I had gone into the pub for some lunch. My dd had just turned 2. There was a small soft play section there so I sat next to it so I could watch her play. Another child came in of about 4 years old. There were only two of them in there. The other child didn't realise I was watching through the net and she went straight up to my dd and pushed her over. My dd started crying and I told her to come to the entrance. As she got to the entrance the other child (who was considerably larger than dd) grabbed her and shoved her against the wall and pinned her there. This was in full view of her mother and grandmother who both just sat there watching and didn't say a thing to the girl or try and stop her from hurting my dd. I didn't say anything to them or anything to the girl, just picked my dd up and sat her down next to me at the table and comforted her. Anyway, from that point on the mother and grandmother made it their mission to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible. They both whispered together and then the mother (who had her back to me) would turn round and they both smirked at me. When I took dd to the toilet with her potty (we'd just started potty training) the grandmother pulled a face at me, when I came back from the toilet they both staring in my direction with sneery looks and then turned back round and started laughing. It was so uncomfortable and I felt very threatened because there were two of them and one of me, and they just kept whispering together and then staring at me. It was very intimidating.

Whilst the little girl was eating I let dd back in the soft play area whilst I packed up our stuff, and when I went to get her to put her shoes on the grandmother, who was sat directly in front of me, leant forward towards me looking me up and down with a filthy look on her face. I put dd in her pushchair and as I walked towards the grandmother she tapped the mother's hand and nodded in my direction and they both threw me filthy looks and the grandmother said something under her breath which I think was "twat" but it was quietly muttered so I could be wrong. At this point I was so annoyed at their unwarranted behaviour towards me, that as I walked past I stopped at the table and asked her what their problem was. The child's mother kind of slumped down in her seat and stared at her phone, but the grandmother just stared back at me. So I was like "nothing? Good" and walked off. My heart was literally pounding and I thought they'd follow me out and beat me up so once out of the building and out of sight I literally ran with the pushchair back to the car 😂

Some people just have chips on their shoulders and are looking to make an issue because they want some kind of showdown. Don't take it personally. You did nothing wrong. You are the better person and they are just scum.

Agree with pps - it you are a generally reasonable and half-decent person who generally deals with reasonable and half-decent people, it is shaking to come across people who are the polar opposite and go through life making things as uncomfortable as possible for as many people as they can. Especially when you have your dc with you as it makes you feel more vulnerable, and even more so in relatively isolated areas where it might just be you and them.

All you can do really is move on - it’s terrible as it lets them win, but your first priority has to be keeping your dc safe.

Those are the kind of people I imagine surviving the apocalypse and turning to cannibalism to survive.

They sound like trash. The likes you wont ever want to mix with and they proved their point. Pity their children though

Yeah I've been around too many people like this
Basically they have an issue with the world and other people in general, don't take it personally. They could literally start a fight with their shadow.

Ps. Some of those people are not "chavs" but entitled middle class arseholes, I'm sure they come in every class group

So you post on here a woeful tale of poor behaviour by a couple of idiots, and then you get snooty about the terminology aimed at these two women, from others who agree with you that the behaviour was appalling? Honestly OP, what did you expect?

I don’t think I’ve been snooty - I just realised that some of the language generalising to “a type” made me uncomfortable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Arghh - not a pleasant experience OP, but what really upsets me is that a handful of posters on this thread do not understand that the word 'ignorant' can be used to mean rude (which you weren't by the way)

Relax LauderSyme it was a flippant comment... I'm not going to channel Marie Stopes in real life. Still think these sort of people are a waste of oxygen though

@Cyrusc My apologies, you just don't know on the internet do you?

I agree the world (both online and off) would be a nicer place without the likes of them.

@recrudescence made a really good point.

Being a chav is about anti social and low level criminal behaviour, I think the term is fine as long as it isn't used to label and stigamise just anyone who is underclass or even working class and not behaving like that.

Rich people can certainly behave in the same way, but they are called hoorays instead.

A similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I was at a playground with my DD which had a large paddling pool with water guns, fountains etc. DD in swimsuit, me fully clothed. A boy aged about 8 or 9 turned a water gun full on me and I was soaked. I (fairly politely) asked him to stop it. His mum then launched into a tirade of abuse - how dare I tell off her son, effing and blinding. The worst thing was that as we were on our way out of the park later she ran after me again, calling me cunt, bitch, slag, god knows what else. I honestly think she would have physically attacked me if a park keeper hadn’t intervened at that point. DD (then aged about 2) was terrified and still mentions it even now.

I’m sorry you had a similar experience OP. Some people are just as common as muck (in behaviour and outlook, not social class). You did the right thing in not rising to it.

Chav = Council housed and violent, it obviously relates to scummy bastards but the inclusion of council housing makes it insulting to a lot of people.

Am in the northwest and we used to refer to them as scallys, in Scotland a friend called them scheme-ys/schemies as they came from the housing schemes /council estates. It isn't all people from a council estate at all it is aggressive loutish types.

Chav does not stand for ‘Council House And Violent’. www.google.co.uk/amp/s/wordhistories.net/2017/10/03/origin-of-chav/amp/

Bookworm, your link also refers to the 'backronym' so whilst the 19th and early 20th century origin is certainly from reference to romany people the 'today' form has no reference to romany people Imo, the backronym was certainly known in the 1990s so has been around for 20 years or so.

Urgh, how horrible for you OP. My legs would have been shaking by the time I'd got to the car! I agree with a PP that they knew what they had done was way out of order and let's face it, people do know when someone is of a different class to themselves. She felt inadequate and then had to find a way to make it your fault. You can imagine her telling her friends about it later...'the log wasn't even that close to her and we apologised. Effing snooty cow didn't even smile, she was so stuck up...' etc. You did the right thing, no food would've come out of a confrontation with them because they had convinced themselves you were at fault for merely being there and being better behaved.

Yes, but it’s not the origin of the word!

Bookworm, nowhere in my post did I try and suggest I was talking about origins, I was talking about use, and since the 90s it has definitely been used in this manner, like lots of words with old origins their use changes and evolves. Chavs was used more in the south of England, other words to refer to the same type of people were used in different regions. This is how that word has been used more recently than 1940.

When you read this you can only realise what a totally stupid and unfounded comment Sweary Woman made. If the OPs reaction was as she said (and I have no reason to disbelieve her) then what the hell was the relevance of the comment?

Bet SW was a bully at school and all she wanted was to pick a fight. You did the exact right thing by ignoring and walking quietly away. God help her poor kids as they grow up, bet they turn into right little charmers too.

You did the right thing. Your lack of reaction would have perplexed the gobby cow.

Erghhh, I hate chavs.