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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I wasn’t an “ignorant bitch”..

110 replies

SmileEachDay · 08/07/2019 20:49

At a local lovely place yesterday paddling in a river. Large family showed up, one woman in particular was swearing really loudly - they had 4/5 kids between them and my DC there. I was > < this close to asking her to tone it down, but actually felt a bit intimidated.

As I was getting DC into shoes at the edge a massive lump of wood missed my head by about a centimetre and splashed into the water. I said nothing, just carried on.

As I walked off with DC they were all laughing - one man said “sorry” but I was a fair way up the steps by then.

Sweary woman yelled “you didn’t need to apologise it wasn’t even close to her”. Other woman said “is she antsy- ignorant bitch”

Then Sweary Woman yelled “IGNORANT BITCH” at me.

Fortunately DC too interested in looking for bugs to have noticed...

OP posts:
wallahi · 08/07/2019 22:52

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UpToTheRigs · 08/07/2019 22:53

I find it odd that a lot of people use ignorant to mean someone who is ignoring you. That really isn't what it means.

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 08/07/2019 22:56

the police I would’ve gone with the MN report function buuuut....🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
wallahi · 08/07/2019 22:58

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recrudescence · 08/07/2019 23:05

I think when people treat you in a totally mindless, unprovoked, shitty way like this it does stay with you for a while. Suddenly all your qualities as a polite and considerate person become completely redundant. That’s the scary thing, not the swearing or the block of wood whizzing past your ear. Anyway, despite that, you got away in one piece and that’s the important thing.

Twotinydictators · 08/07/2019 23:07

Is there a full moon or something tonight?! Some seriously odd posting going on... To clarify, that's not aimed at you OP!

Gwenhwyfar · 08/07/2019 23:18

Ignorant to mean rude rather than just not knowing something is an acknowledged use: www.lexico.com/en/definition/ignorant

Cyrusc · 08/07/2019 23:25

Ugh complete riff raff. They should sterilize these people.

cannycat20 · 08/07/2019 23:39

For various reasons there've been quite a lot of folk in my life with an armed forces background. Some of their advice - walk away from any unnecessary confrontation; whatever you are doing in life know where the exits and escape routes are; always be aware of what's going on around you, especially if you're in an unfamiliar place; trust your gut; "there are old soldiers and bold soldiers but very few old, bold soldiers"; "he who learns to run away, lives to fight another day". I could go on!

Sounds like you handled the whole thing extremely well to me. I still remember being terrified as a kid one Saturday out shopping with Dad; we accidentally bumped into this belligerent g*t who wasn't looking where he was going, and he started going on about "Do you want to start a fight, mate?".

Dad's reply: "If it wasn't that I've got my little girl with me I'd give you a fight to remember"; me: "Dad, I'll go home, I'll go home", not understanding that he was handling the situation very well. Dad was quite slim and relatively slightly built, and pretty much a pacifist but what the stupid antagonist didn't realise was that his brother had been a boxer and in the armed forces so he knew how to defend himself.

You cannot win with these types of people. Funnily they never start on anyone obviously bigger than them, but one day they WILL pick on the wrong person.

Reallybadidea · 08/07/2019 23:49

On the plus side, it appears that the demise of the Jeremy Kyle show has got people out of the house and getting some exercise Grin

everyoneisasleepbutme · 08/07/2019 23:49

Sorry to derail. Can anyone tell me why chav is so offensive? In Oz we say bogan but no one would be offended in the same way.

LauderSyme · 08/07/2019 23:53

@Cyrusc Shock The history of eugenics is very dark. The company you keep does not reflect well.

PickAChew · 08/07/2019 23:55

They sound pretty vile and I reckon the mother was up for a scrap. The only valid retort, in this situation is oh, for fucks, sake, give it a rest. Or a look to that effect, if you have a decent resting bitch face but an annoyingly RP-esque accent.

LauderSyme · 08/07/2019 23:59

@everyoneisasleepbutme
"Chav" means someone who is vulgar and lacks education and taste, and is inherently derogatory. It is a relatively modern word and probably derives it's power in the UK from our long history of bitter class warfare.

Kallyderon · 09/07/2019 00:11

Working class people know exactly what chavs are and have no problem with using the word because they know it doesn't apply to them. It's the middle class who feel guilty about it.

OP give yourself a pat on the back. You handled it really well.

ScreamingValenta · 09/07/2019 00:14

I think when people treat you in a totally mindless, unprovoked, shitty way like this it does stay with you for a while. Suddenly all your qualities as a polite and considerate person become completely redundant.

This. It is frightening when you realise there's no hope of reasoning with someone. The OP was absolutely right to walk away.

Celledora · 09/07/2019 00:20

Don’t be afraid to call a chav a fackin chav, love. I was born into certified, chavtastic stock yet manage to exercise common decency and manners #notallchavs but yes, #thosechavs

Reallybadidea · 09/07/2019 07:42

I thought that the reason some people find the word chav offensive was because it might be derived from a Romany word for child, therefore could be considered racist towards Romany gypsies.

Gwenhwyfar · 09/07/2019 07:46

No Really, that's not why people find the word offensive. It's because it's a class-based insult.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 09/07/2019 08:03

You have my sympathy op. I had neighbours from hell like this for a few years.
They were truly awful people. The behaviour of the parents in front of their children who actively got involved in public slanging matches with them.... like it was a family sport Hmm
Not once did I even so much as say a cross word to them. I just could never bring myself to behave in such an embarrassing way and I knew that they didn’t know how to behave any better.
Interestingly they looked liked they walked off a boden catalogue shoot and the dh had a very successful role as a company director. It really confuses me how they are successful in life despite being such awful people with very poor adulting skills.

Helendee · 09/07/2019 08:08

A turd is always a turd, think nothing more of them.

gokartdillydilly · 09/07/2019 08:36

So you post on here a woeful tale of poor behaviour by a couple of idiots, and then you get snooty about the terminology aimed at these two women, from others who agree with you that the behaviour was appalling? Honestly OP, what did you expect?

Everybody knows this 'type' of person you were describing.

To me the term 'Chav' is always about someone's behaviour than their 'class'.

Scorpiovenus · 09/07/2019 09:23

Yea the Chav lifestyle lives still I see :)

I saw some like this in asda the other day, I felt stuck up as of the thoughts I thought but the state of them.... just reminded me of waye and waynetta slob hahahaha

Reallybadidea · 09/07/2019 09:28

That's what I was told by a friend whose grandma was Romany 🤷‍♀️

MarthasGinYard · 09/07/2019 09:34

Sound like scum bags

Feel sorry for their dc