House is like a dump yard!!

[stressheadd]

So name changed for this as feel abit embarrassed about this lol

but I need some motivation as I just don't know where to start from I need some inspiration basically a kick up the arse!!

My house is like a skip yard! Well it's not filthy just very messy! I live in a small 2 bedroom terraced house, and in every single room there is a huge toy box full off toys! I have 4 baskets of clothes that need ironing and putting away, my kitchen units are full my dining table is full off letters as the letter drawer is too full to open, the lounge is full off clutter, letters, clothes that need taking up to iron and put away, toys toys and more toys,

And upstairs oh god where do I begin DSs bedroom full off toys and storage boxes of stuff iv been collecting over the years in sales so basically it's like a little shop up there

My bedroom is full off toys, clothes and storage boxes of baby stuff and my toddlers clothes he's grown out of that i dont want to get rid off, I don't know what toys to give away and what toys to keep,most the toys are like vetch and fisher price iv paid a fortune for and iv tried to put some up for sale on gumtree, but no luck in getting rid off them,

I have a very clingy 13 month old baby who cries every time I put her down, so most my days I'm trying to hold my little girl or play with her and I have a 4 year old Son he plays with his toys and won't put them away he doesn't listen to me when I tell him to clean up but when his dads back from work he's a angel and will listen to his dad ,

I would upload a photo of each room but would die of embarrassment if somebody I know in RL realises it's me and that I live like a pig

DH works 5 days a week and out of town so even though he does 9-5 he sets of at 8 and doesn't get home till 6, so I feel to bad asking him for help although he does the washing and hoovers and helps around when he's home

I don't really have any friends or much family so no support there,

I feel like I'm so busy with the kids that I am always going to be behind on housework

I just want the house to be clutter free and clean! I really need to decorate the lounge but I think what's the point when the whole house is a mess,

It's making me feel so down I don't know where to start from or even how to de clutter and how to keep the house clean,

The inside of all my units and drawers need cleaning too I feel like it would take me a whole year to sort the house out

Any tips would be great

Sorry for the essay xx

With the load of washing that ironing how are you drying the clothes? I'm also in a two bed mid terrace but don't have a dryer just washer. I got DH to install
Estink Wall Coat Stand, Foldable Clothes Rail Retractable Hidden Space Saving Wall Hanger Space Saving for Living Room Bathroom Bedroom Office Balcony Wardrobe https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07L99B2V3/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_611iDb2W6D6ER

So I just hang everything straight out of the wash. I'm only now ironing DH work stuff now.

Get a bin bag and do a quick blitz of broken toys.
In the kitchen look at the appliances and see if you have one that only serves one function , but you already have something that will also cover that function.
Have a small basket in your room to house the toys and then have designated storage for toys in there bedroom and lounge.
Make a rule that you will warn 4 year old to tidy and if he doesn't and you do it will be put away and he can't have it anymore. My three year old learnt pretty quickly to put her stuff away with a little encouragement.
As others have said scan paperwork. I done this two years ago and it's a massive game changer. I have a small plastic box for paperwork I need to hand (recent council tax bill, bank, stuff I can't scan) and the rest is binned as soon as I've scanned it. It's great for receipts that have long warranties on them as the receipts fade so quickly. Dropbox is a really great free online tool to store them.
It's really hard with a clingy baby. Might be worth setting up a play circle in the room that your working in so your working in the same room and can jump in with a different toy each time your little one gets bored. I found 2 mins play gave me another 5 mins at that age.
If you can start with clothes as it's normally the easiest and will give you a massive boost to do the rest.
You can do this!!! It really cuts down on the need to clean and tidy the house. I find it takes me now less than two house to clean everything top to bottom as well as a load of washing done and hung. I have one 3 and half year old. A massive cat and a medium sized puppy.

Yes toddlers aren’t the easiest to clean around 😊
I’m terrible for the stuff that’s hidden, like cupboards I have far too many tubs with no lids, trays that need replacing and far too many cups, and my junk drawers
I’m generally caught up with housework, and should be working on my drawers and cupboards but I never get round to it

You cannot even imagine how life affirming it is to love where and how you live. To feel you can breathe in the space, however small because it isn't filled with clutter.

This isn't about money.
It's about getting rid of stuff you just don't need.

Hard to do when you are busy with small children, getting little sleep.

However, when you are dealing with the above, having an organised house is a great comfort.

The absolute key is to start small.

Don't focus on the house and get overwhelmed.

Start small and decide to allocate one hour a day when your husband is home or plonk the baby in front of something in the same room as you, and just get going.

Personally, I would try for the morning, when you may feel most motivated when one is at nursery and children's programs are on.

You will be surprised what can be done in an hour and these things have momentum when you start.

Find a charity shop nearby and focus on getting stuff to them as quickly as you can.

Also the skip bag is fabulous idea to get rid of rubbish.

Don't be embarrassed, you friend sounds like a good one. Take her up on her offer.

Too many toys is not a good idea.

Put away a load and rotate. Get rid of rubbish toys and enforce clean up with your son.

None of my children ever wanted to pick up their toys at the end of the day.

But I was not going to be their skivvy, and I wanted to teach them while young about clearing up their own mess.

We always did it to the Barney song "tidy up".

I bet your husband would be delighted and supportive if you take the lead.

Absolutely no point in decorating if the house is full of clutter.

Also, it is soooooo much easier to keep a clutter free house clean.

Best of luck.

My one tip if you are lacking motivation is Netflix Consumed - one episode of that gives me impetus for at least an hour following it, I have seen ep 1 ep 4 and ep 8 so far and done 3 hours decluttering

Bite sized is best.

Start with the lounge toys - one small box for each dc. Only put in stuff they play with. Everything else just chuck it into the toyboxes in your room.

That's one job done. 20mins max.

NRTFT

I have a couple of businesses locally that come and declutter with you, i’ve Been considering it myself. Would you have some like that near you?

An electric shredder, a toddler that could help could make a start on that letter drawer.

for things you aren't sure about, stick them in a bag and seal it. If you haven't opened the bag by this time next month, you don't need it (obvs this doesnt apply to winter clothes and items you use occasionally like a christmas tree)

I was in this position, and it was a nightmare. The longer it goes on, the less motivated to sort it you'll become.
I ended up doing a room at a time, starting with my living room as once it was tidy, I could relax
I got some boxes and binbags-strong ones. One box was keep, one was chuck up the tip, one was Freecycle/charity shop and lastly, sell stuff.
As soon as I filled a rubbish bag, they went straight into the back of DHs car, once it was full he took it to the local dump. The charity shop stuff was the same so it couldn't end up back in rotation (and the kids didn't notice).
Anything worth selling went on Facebook Marketplace and if unsold after a week went to the charity shop.
Slowly, I got through it after a month. The more I did, the more I would notice the clutter and it drove me crackers!
I used the money I made to buy a big take away to sit at our table that we could finally use after I got rid of the shite on it.
It is hard. You will want to give up, but once it's done, you'll find it so much easier to keep it tidy.

Definitely do some sorting while you are watching TV. No-one needs their whole brain to watch Corrie (and I’m a fan!).
Going forward, if you manage to start getting sorted, operate the one in one out rule - so nothing new brought into the house unless something has been given/thrown away.
If your child has a box of toys in every room, that is too many toys.
If you’re not managing to sell things then I would cut my losses - I got rid of a lot of bulky stuff which wasn’t actually worth that much by offering it free on Shpock - people are motivated to pick it up more if it’s free (although I would always prefer to charity shop it if it’s transportable, as then both the charity and the buyer benefit).

I love a good de-cluttering thread! Let us keep you motivated this week and see how much you can get done by Friday :)

Well done for starting, OP! Please feel free to come and join us on the Decluttering one thing a day thread. We're a friendly bunch.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3612006-Decluttering-one-thing-a-day-part-8-the-one-where-we-de-tetris-the-cupboard-of-doom

(There are 7 previous threads too if you need any motivation.)

Other tips:

I've found that making my living room nice first has really helped. It means that no matter how chaotic the rest of the house is, you always have somewhere to rest, enjoy and host. And, it's encouraging on an ongoing basis.

I've also found it best to keep like things together. So, for example, all my shoes are in one place, ditto my small electricals, batteries, lightbulbs, stationery etc. Not only can you always find what you need, but you can more easily see what you've got and what needs to go.

As for the ironing... Do you really need to do it? I would fold it up (or hang it) and put it away. (I no longer have an ironing board - it's been years now and I haven't missed it.) There's a woman on YouTube who just chucks dried clothes into named bins for each child. She doesn't even fold them but says no one notices! Time saving tips like this really are a game-changer.

A really good tip is to remember that it's going to take a bit of time. You just have to keep picking away at it and it will get better.

The most important thing to take away is you can’t organise or clean clutter. Don’t waste your time trying, you WILL fail. As proven by hordes of hoarders who incessantly ‘organise’ their numerous possessions and are no further forward. Relatives of mine have spent the last twenty years of their retirement ‘sorting’. Every day. Sorting. Some of their rooms are now full to the ceiling as a result of their hard work sorting.

Do not be that person. I have seen first hand what stuff can do to you, your mental health, your relationships, friendships etc. A pile of old tat is not worth wasting your life on. And as you are finding out, you cannot function buried under ‘the treasures’ amassed over the years. You can’t clean as it means spending hours moving stuff before you can start. You can’t cook as there is poor access to the kitchen facilities/preparation space/utensils. You can’t play with your children as they get distracted by messy environment. You can’t go through your day relaxed and composed as your environment is full of obstacles in your way.

We live in a tiny house and it is a JOB keeping if liveable and half-decent. Constant barrage of school crafts/letters/slips, letters through the door, bags of mouldy tat from ILs who ‘have been sorting’ their hoard yet again, shopping from DH, presents etc etc etc If I didn’t actively and purposefully discard, on a regular basis, we would be buried alive under stuff by now. It is an essential task to keep one’s environment healthy and positive. So, I have got a ‘charity’ bag in the garage which I add to during the week and whenever I got a few errands in the village, take the stuff to the charity shop. We have also Freecycled bulky stuff before or e-bayed more valuable items. Decluttering is something that must be done continuously and also, I need to guard against new stuff creeping into the house. I only have to take my eye off the ball for a few weeks, and voila clutter everywhere again, bags in the doorway, detritus on the book shelves and mantelpiece etc.

Recommend Marie Kondo for sound approach to decluttering and organising remaining joyous possessions. When you don’t continuously trip over stuff, you will find it is quick and easy to clean. You will feel in control of your environment and your life in general. Your relationships will improve. You will suddenly have bags of free time, lots of energy and zest for life.

Turn a corner and never look back. Don’t forget you own the stuff, not the stuff owns you. You are the boss, do what’s best for your MH and your family. Stuff can bugger off and burden someone else. And good riddance!

Like the poster above, I like the Marie Kondo method; she advocates organising by category rather than room which makes it easier (because then you realise for example that you have 6 rolls of sellotape all in separate locations-true story). Go paperless for all bills. Don't bother ironing, just hang flat and put away (maybe just iron shirts if your DH has them for work or get him to do them). Teach your DC to tidy, you can make it into a game for them at the end of each day. And don't buy anything else until you've gotten on top of it. Be ruthless with stuff, it has a tendency to grow if you don't watch it I find

Oh and you can Freecyle big things or things not good enough to sell; I find there's always someone who will be able to use it (just make sure you describe it thoroughly/honestly).

Don't be so hard on yourself. There's too much pressure to be perfect.

Don't hang on to stuff for too long once you've decided to get rid - a week on Facebook/gumtree and if it's not sold it goes to the clothes recycling bin at the supermarket or charity shop. If you have enough stuff to do a car boot but don't actually have the time to do one you could try and sell it as a cheap bundle for professional car booteers, you might only get £20 but it'll get rid of loads of stuff and it's £20 more than you made from looking at it taking up space everyday.

Take a photo of each room to make progress

Get DH involved 20 mins per evening

Do the one cupboard a day challenge and be ruthless

Toys - send to local school or nursery so you know they’ll be appreciated and used

Clothes to woman’s aid - some collect

Put crap in the car for the tip when passing

Definitely good tip re soft toys. Ask child which 3 are the best and bin the rest. The same regarding toys. Find his top 20. Bin Al else. Put 10-14 away an work in rotation. They do forget them quickly and are thrilled after a week when they return. An rotate!!

Right here with you op
Have u managed to bag anything up to ‘go’ so far? I find once I’ve done a charity bag i have to put it straight in the car otherwise if it’s in site i pick stuff back out over the next few days....

Start one room at a time when your little girl is in bed - try one room a night? X

Op we are the same and only in a two bed flat, we have no garage or loft space. I put a box in the lounge for charity but I have ended up chucking things in that I want to keep out of my 9 month olds reach. I do not find bringing everything together helpful as it ends up staying in huge piles if I don't get to finish. I'm afraid I don't have any tips but I wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one and some of the pps seem to be making it out that you are lazy but I also find it really hard to keep on top of things with two children, even just cleaning the bathroom every week or so or doing washing and feel like I have no time to declutter it really is getting me down because its hard to live amongst crap.

Hi all thank you for your replies
Sorry for the late reply this is my third attempt to reply

My last two replies my battery died halfway through replying

So far I have been quite productive in the lounge, I have sorted through the toys and clothes, the clothes I need to put away

Iv decided to not iron and just fold the clothes and put them away, and if they do need ironing iron them as and when I need them,

The toys I have sold one large play set on gumtree I priced very cheap so they would sell fast,

And I have bagged a huge bag for charity and one bag for DNephew, although worried DS might cry "they my toys"

@TescosFinest thank you I completely agree with you, it is starting to affect my MH I always have the house on my mind even when I'm out all I can think about is "I wish the house was clean and tidy" I just want s nice smart clean empty house, I love cooking and baking but hate doing anything in my kitchen, it's just so cluttered with pots and pans il never use but iv decided once I get started on the kitchen I'm going to be ruthless and anything iv not used or don't intend to use going to give away to charity, I could always buy again if I did need them in the future, but once I declutter I will think twice before buying anything

@Fruitteatime awww I hope this thread can motivate you too, because of less storage space what if you want to buy vacuum bags and winter/summer clothes u could keep in there and store under the bed untill needed, it is hard with kids by the time they asleep I'm ready for bed myself, what if you sort though the box for charity and we can together declutter our houses/flats,

I wish I posted sooner all these tips and motivation is helping me want to get it done, by the end of this month I want to have got rid off all the clutter,

By Friday my aim is to

Sort though paperwork
Complete sorting though toys
Get rid off all clothes that don't fit DC

Then I will set my aim for next Friday on Saturday,

Unfortunately I did not bag up all the paperwork yesterday as I ended up cooking tea washing up and then sorting through toys and uploading on gumtree

But today I'm determined to make a start on the paperwork xx

@SandAndSea aww thank you I will join in on that thread, I am normally abit shy to join in on threads, but I will come say hello

And thank you everyone I have read all your replies, everybody has excellent ideas on where and how to start x