House is like a dump yard!!

[stressheadd]

So name changed for this as feel abit embarrassed about this lol

but I need some motivation as I just don't know where to start from I need some inspiration basically a kick up the arse!!

My house is like a skip yard! Well it's not filthy just very messy! I live in a small 2 bedroom terraced house, and in every single room there is a huge toy box full off toys! I have 4 baskets of clothes that need ironing and putting away, my kitchen units are full my dining table is full off letters as the letter drawer is too full to open, the lounge is full off clutter, letters, clothes that need taking up to iron and put away, toys toys and more toys,

And upstairs oh god where do I begin DSs bedroom full off toys and storage boxes of stuff iv been collecting over the years in sales so basically it's like a little shop up there

My bedroom is full off toys, clothes and storage boxes of baby stuff and my toddlers clothes he's grown out of that i dont want to get rid off, I don't know what toys to give away and what toys to keep,most the toys are like vetch and fisher price iv paid a fortune for and iv tried to put some up for sale on gumtree, but no luck in getting rid off them,

I have a very clingy 13 month old baby who cries every time I put her down, so most my days I'm trying to hold my little girl or play with her and I have a 4 year old Son he plays with his toys and won't put them away he doesn't listen to me when I tell him to clean up but when his dads back from work he's a angel and will listen to his dad ,

I would upload a photo of each room but would die of embarrassment if somebody I know in RL realises it's me and that I live like a pig

DH works 5 days a week and out of town so even though he does 9-5 he sets of at 8 and doesn't get home till 6, so I feel to bad asking him for help although he does the washing and hoovers and helps around when he's home

I don't really have any friends or much family so no support there,

I feel like I'm so busy with the kids that I am always going to be behind on housework

I just want the house to be clutter free and clean! I really need to decorate the lounge but I think what's the point when the whole house is a mess,

It's making me feel so down I don't know where to start from or even how to de clutter and how to keep the house clean,

The inside of all my units and drawers need cleaning too I feel like it would take me a whole year to sort the house out

Any tips would be great

Sorry for the essay xx

Time to do a BIG DECLUTTER!

I hate actually doing it but love when it's done you just need to find a way that suits you, depending on what time you have. Could you set aside a full day to concentrate on one room?

Get a few boxes/bags - one for charity/to give to a friend etc, one to get rid of and one to keep. Be ruthless. Any clothes that don't fit need to go, you can only keep what fits in the storage space you have.

Anything in the 'get rid' boxes, do it that day! Straight out of the house! So you don't have time to change your mind. Also seeing the difference immediately will make you want to continue.

I also have a small house and 2 young DC. Need to declutter their room, so will do it with you if you want spur each other on!

Is there a friend that can help you with your LO for the day, so that you can get stuck in?

Then try doing it by category. Start with the easiest thing toys, kitchen stuff, clothes, bring it all together into one place and then excomunicate at least half of it. Don't try and decide if you are bining or donating it to start with, just bag it up and set it outside.

Then call a charity to collect it, they will happily sort through what they can and cant sell and bin the remainder for you. The important thing is to get it out asap so that you can see the results and feel better about the house, then you are more likely to keep going.

Lol I'm the same I love de cluttering my DM house but can't and won't do my own,

I would love to take a day out for each room but can't because I always have DD with me, DS goes to the Nursrey but then I'm busy putting the tea on and entertaining DD,

Even when DH is home DD will cry for me after a hour or so, she is very clingy

That sounds like a good idea to make up bags one for charity one for a friend and one to keep,I am going to sort through the clothes in the lounge now and what's to small for my DD I will put in a bag to get rid,

Awww yes we could motivate each other to declutter, your lucky you only have one room to de clutter lol I would swap with you any day, I cannot belive iv let it get this bad

I can't invite anybody round because the house is a tip 24/7

That sounds like a plan, I don't really have many friends iv always kept myself to myself which now I regret as I feel like if I had friends I would have support and help,

I do have one friend who said she would come round and help me but I feel to embarrassed to ask her to come round,

I will start of with clothes and then kitchen then letters

I have so much clutter in the kitchen I don't want my DC growing up thinking this is acceptable

Op sounds like you’re making excuses. You could easily put the 13 month down when it’s just you and her and spend 1 hour sorting bits.

Big declutter needed. Ruthless. You will feel a gazilion times better afterwards.

Not very environmental, but if you're struggling just throw stuff away - you';l never actually make time to sell it or sort/wash for a charity shop.

Get yourself onFB and join the TOMM group. You'll find loads of other people in the same position and get lots of support from people who've been there.

A big clean is overwhelming , break it down into short bursts focussing on one job at a time or part of a job even - I even used to use the advert breaks to have a very quick blitz of surface clutter for example

For selling stuff are there any nct sales or nearly new baby/children's sales held near you that you could book a table at?

I would start in the kitchen first.
Get a bin bag and go through a cupboard a day this week and just bin everything you can.
For the letters, just sit down and go through them all. Put everything you need to keep in file and the rest can go into recycling.
Once that’s done then go through each room.
Just focus on one room a week so you can do bits without getting overwhelmed.
Aim to finish the kitchen by Friday this week. Then choose next weeks room.

I second the TOMM group! Once you get decluttered (which is included) you'll find it much easier to keep on top of everything. Just do 30/60 mins a day an you'll see a difference in no time! Good luck!

I would take your friend up on her offer of help. Don't feel embarrassed- like you say it's not like you're living in filth, just clutter, which is different.
You will feel a million times better once it's done. It all seems overwhelming now but do a bit at a time. Good luck!

Get a hippo bag (much cheaper than a skip and you keep it until you tell them to come and get it) and be ruthless.

Do the paperwork sorting one evening. It takes a lot less time than you think because the new paperwork often cancels out the old stuff and a lot has probably become irrelevant. Order an expanding file and have it to hand at the end and file it. Write on the front what you have filed stuff under ( e.g all insurance under I, rather than car insurance under C and house under H).
Once you get going it's SO cathartic.. like a massage for the soul.

Re paperwork - there isn't much that isn't available online now and that is emailed to oyu e.g. car insurance.

If I do have anything posted that needs to be retained - I take a photo and email it to myself with a clear subject line.

Or if paperwork is 'live' e.g. concert tickets, something to be signed, they get pinned up to the notice board in the study.

There is a youtuber called the secret slob. She has done a series of videos following the fly lady system and has decluttered and cleaned her, (very large, Canadian) house. She has 2 small children so she has done this is short bursts. One drawer or cupboard at a time.
It's very inspirational, and you could follow her various challenges.
The key is to only keep things in your house that you need, use or love and be really ruthless.
Good luck
I'd love to go and help you. A house like yours is like Disneyland for me. I love delcuttering.

The one hour an evening your baby will happily sit with your DH can’t you spend that sorting through some clutter?
I don’t know what your DD is like with being a little helper?
But my if I’m trying to get stuff done, my 19 month old helps unload/load the washing machine and tumble dryer.
I also try get other bits done while he’s in his high chair eating and when he sleeps.
There must be times in the day when you do have time
I’m not judging at all, my house can be a bit of a tip at times if I’m really tired or of little one is being a pain... but I do catch up when I get home from work in the evening

With paperwork can’t you get 2 bags and try make it look playful for the little one by passing her letters to put into the appropriate bag?

Do it OP, do it, do it, do it!

Over the weekend I decluttered and rearranged my kitchen because it's been annoying me for ages - and it feels SO much better and much larger

The person who likened it to a 'massage for your soul' isn't far wrong. And the PP was right about paperwork - I had a big drawer full but when I'd chucked any old/irrelevant/out of date stuff away I was left with a little plastic folder, half full.

It's probably a bit weird how happy it's made me. Like folks have said OP, pick one thing and go for it. Break it down into little chunks so instead of feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the overall task you can feel pleased that you've achieved your goal of clearing one shelf or drawer or whatever.

You'll feel better afterwards, promise! Too much 'stuff' can fell like a weight dragging you down and you don't need need it - but you do need a relaxing, comfortable home. Good luck!

Don’t do it room by room, do it section by section, so for example start on all the paperwork that’s cluttering up the house, you can do that sat on the sofa whilst watching tv! Get all the paperwork into one huge pile and either keep or shred. Only when that job is complete do you move onto the next job, such as your children’s clothes that they have grown out of, you say you don’t want to get rid of them but you must change your mindset on this, if it’s no use put it in the charity shop pile. Doing it this way will make it so much easier and cause less disruption to your day to day life.

Break it down. I always start with clothes. Gather up all of the clothes from every room and wash, bin, iron and put away everything. That's all you have to do that day.

Next day tackle toys... As others have said a charity will happily take these off you.

Letters will probably be the worst one, but a great thing to do if you have a scanner is just scan them all into your computer and then save them under appropriate files. That way can get rid of all of them.

Also... Your dh is working perfectly reasonable hours. 9-5 plus hour commute each way is not much, it's not a good excuse to do no housework. It's not as if you're off on your jollies, you have a 13 month old to look after 24/7. Get him to help you.

Why do you have so many toys in different rooms? Can you get something like the Kallax unit from IKEA, with several drawers. Do a really intensive de-clutter and store them away.

Break it down into little bits: one drawer, one surface, one bag at a time.

When job is split into manageable chunks, each bit is achievable and then it's not so discouraging.

And for an incentive, DDIL has just made £60 selling DGD's outgrown clothes on FB. She just chucked them in bin liners according to age/size and sold them as a bagful of (eg) 2-3 YO girls' clothes.

Thank you all for your replies, feel so encouraged I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL DO THIS.

I will look into the hippo bag,

I will order a expanding file of amazon tonight,

so far iv sorted out the clothes in the lounge, and got rid off some shoes I no longer wear,

I will look up that youtuber I like to watch Emily Norris and used to watch mrs hinch untill I realised my house will never look like hers lol

I will put DD down for a nap, and grab a bin liner and put all the paperwork in all the letters around the house and tonight when corries on il sort through them,

There's so many brilliant ideas on where to begin, I think il start with paperwork and letters tonight

Tommorw I thought il tackle the kitchen units and get a bag ready for charity shop,

Il try and get one bag a day filled for the charity shop,

Il try do 30 minutes a day in each room that's only 2 hours a day as bathroom is the only place that's clutter free so just both bedrooms kitchen and lounge

Hopefully by Friday I can see some progress

My DD likes to make more mess then help if I'm loading the laundry she will trow the clothes on the floor and chew on the clothes iv just washed,

I always make excuses not to declutter I am very lazy I hate to admit it but I find iv become so lazy

But better late then never so I'm going to start today and not stop till the house is clutter free and clean

@TheWernethWife in my bedroom there's two boxes of toys, 1 full off soft teddy bears and 1 full of DS old toys he no longer plays with I thought I would save for DD

And in DS room I have the big toys, like his rocking horse or his vtech walker train and his toot toot playsets because they big and bulky they take up room I thought I would save for DD

In the lounge there's a box under the dining table full off toys DC play with now and again and the kitchen has a small box of toys and DDs walker and play scooter

All these toys really need sorting every time I have attempted to sort though them I feel like oh no DD could play but no child needs that many toys

@LakieLady that's a brill idea to bag up and sell on Facebook so far iv been using gumtree but I find when I post something nobody is interested and I'm waiting weeks for a reply that I end up keeping them and not selling in the end

But I will try Facebook tonight thank you x

I love decluttering. I’m ruthless however.

Does it bring me joy? Do I need it? Do I use it? Did I even know I had it? No... byeee!