I look hideous in swimwear

[birthdayblues31]

Aibu to not pack swimwear for a sun holiday? DH says I'm "ridiculous".

On paper, my stats are "fine". I'm 31, 5'4, under 9 stone but two kids have wrecked my body beyond recognition and I have huge hang ups about my stomach and thighs. I also have ibs type issues leaving me constantly around the 6 month pregnant mark.

I've said I'll be happy in T-shirt and shorts so can still have a paddle but according to him, not taking swimwear is stupid.

Nb: I'm talking full swimsuits here, no one ever needs to see me in a bikini!

Aibu?!

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If you've found this page in search of swimwear that has been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best swimsuits for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

I feel very sad for you, that you feel so negative about yourself and that said negativity is directly affecting your enjoyment of a holiday which I am sure you more than deserve.
There’s no easy fix, but what I do know is that, in the nicest possible way, no one actually cares. Very few people actually notice other people in any material way on the beach/by the pool and fewer still would notice the perceived negative aspects of your body in the same way as you notice them. And if they do, it simply doesn’t matter. You’ll never see them again, and life is so very short. Try not to let body hang ups hold you back.

Personally I think YABU. I don’t look great in swimwear but I think about the example I’m setting to my kids.

I went on a hen party (two hens) with nearly fifty other women, a lot of the women were from the traveller community. You know what our taught me so much about just loving your body and that women being women is something to be proud of. There were women from 19-60 something mostly in bikinis all confident, all telling each other they looked great. I'd taken one bikini and two swimsuits not really intending to wear the bikini, too pasty, not toned enough etc. I wore that bikini every day we were there. It was marvellous.

Like you, we are off in 6wks for our hols. Both me and partner have stopped ALL treats. But that's all. If we lose a few pounds then so be it.

However, I constantly ask why I'm doing this... I'm not off on the pull! So why should I give a toss. Partner sees me naked every day. Those on the beach never will, nor will I ever see them again.

I think the biggest worry in your shoes is that you may inadvertedly pass on your body image issues onto your kids!

Your husband clearly loves you, so do your kids.....to hell what others think...get out there and strut your stuff woman. Be an inspiration to your children.

That's far more important, is it not?

I’m a size 18/20, I guarantee I look worse. But my husband and kids love me and I think not wearing swimwear draws even more attention when you’re on holiday...

YABU! Take a 1 piece and enjoy!!

YABU. No one else cares what you look like in a swimsuit. There'll be plenty of people on the beach bigger and weirder than you. Just get a suit that fits and stop worrying about it.

When you go abroad you’ll see women of all shapes and sizes letting it all hang out. Seriously, nobody will be looking. Pack a swimsuit and a bikini and a sarong. You are lovely and slim. Even if you don’t wear what you’ve brought you’ll at least have the option.

People won't be looking at you, honestly. I'm also much bigger and look about 20 months pregnant but no one cares around a pool.

I totally get you. I know how this feels to hate your body in a swimsuit. And iv really hate pics. I just hope I haven't passed this to my daughter. Ask DH in private not to take pics of you fully in swimsuit ie. Only shoulders up or in the water! Apart from that, get out there and enjoy!!

Take it. I look like a fecking weeble but I love being in the water so I get in. And the kids want me in.
Out of the sea/pool I wear a cover up or shirts/tshirt, in the water no-one can see much.
Take it - you don’t have to wear it.

I actually do understand how you feel. I'm 5 ft 6 and was a size 10 until recently with c section scars a pouch and ibs baby on board. Then in February I broke my knee I'm now a breathe in 14 realistically a 16 with the same issues only a lot worse complete with spare tyre and bingo wings. Today I was beside the beach (can't yet manage fine sand on crutches) and I watched a mum with 2 kids the same ages as mine. She was on a chair thingy and stood up took her dress off and walked down the beach in her swimsuit (just a blue and black one piece) got in the water and splashed around and went out and swam with the kids for ages. They looked like they had so much fun and she didn't look one bit self conscious and nobody batted an eyelid. I wish I could be that body confident in clothes!

YANBU - wear what you like!

I always find it weird that it's suddenly the norm to wear brightly coloured underwear in public when swimming is involved. I mostly like my figure but I'm considering shorts and t shirt or similar for future holidays and swim trips because I don't feel I want to be so naked in front of strangers. Plus I hate having to apply so much sun cream.

Take a one piece and have fun with your children. If you really don’t like it you could get a leg suit from maru or other swimwear provider, they go down to knee length and cover your thighs

Think of it this way. Because you have wobbly thighs, are you any less deserving of having the pleasure of warm sun and water on your skin, or the fun of swimming and splashing in water?

I mean this kindly, but your cellulite is probably the least interesting thing about you, and genuinely no one cares. Pack a swimsuit and a sarong and enjoy the fact your legs work and your body has given you such pleasure in life.

Yabu. Take a swimsuit so you can get in the pool and play with your kids.

As others have said, no one else cares, go enjoy your holiday and think about the example you are setting to your kids

I'm sorry you're feeling like this

Take the swimsuit.

You might feel more comfortable after a few days poolside / at the beach. You might not. If you choose not to wear it, fine. You should take it though.

I've had to start wearing quite covering UV legsuits (and floppy hats - due to photosensitivity) and, honestly, it's a revelation not to be worrying about ride-up and whether your tummy is sticking out or your thighs are looking hefty.

Try one. You can always stick a cover up on too, but much more appropriate for the sea than shorts.

I was in a similar boat recently, and then happened to be in Decathlon... they have a good range of swimsuits that cover your thighs and tummy. I got one with "legs", so it looks a bit like cycling shorts, and it has an attached vest top thing so it covers my tummy. I haven't explained it very well, but I'm sure their website would have photos.

I have it packed and ready to go for holidays! Normally I'd say not to worry about how you look etc, but if you just need to feel a bit more covered up to feel confident, then it's worth having a look.

Sounds to me as though you have a normal woman's body which has had children.

Read, repeatedly, the post by thehandsofNeilBuchanan. Marvellous stuff!

Hi op,
Please don't feel bad about your body,I will tell you something i saw a while back in the swimming pool area.
I was in the pool taking a breather and a woman entered,beautiful,perfect figure,head down,no eye contact with people,people's immediate interested tell as flat as a pancake.
Shortly after another woman entered,she was about a size 20,not at all what people would class as 'beautiful',and quite a bit older than the first lady.
But wow!she owned it!she walked proudly,head up,smiling,portraying self confidence and the people watchers were transfixed,she was mesmerizing.she was sexy,alluring,happy and I've never forgotten her.
She may have put on a front,I don't know,but she taught me I didn't have to hide behind my towel and only drop it at the last second before getting in the water as fast as I could.tbh,nobody gives a monkey's really.
You go and enjoy your holiday and love your body as your dh clearly does.
Love who you are,put your swimsuit on and have a brilliant holiday to remember,swimming with your family and just having fun.you so deserve it.

OP, no one is looking at you.
I have skin problems and so have to cover up (can't wear sunscreen) so I have a pair of women's swim shorts and a swimming shirt (like surfers wear) it's fine.
Don't miss out on fun with your kids. You can always get a tankini and a sarong.
I'm sad you hate your body so much.

Nobody will be as interested as you are in what you look like. If you appear pregnant, someone might think oh, a preggo. That's it. Won't have any impact on you.

Take your swimsuit!
You might decide to go swimming. It’s especially fun at night.