I look hideous in swimwear

[birthdayblues31]

Aibu to not pack swimwear for a sun holiday? DH says I'm "ridiculous".

On paper, my stats are "fine". I'm 31, 5'4, under 9 stone but two kids have wrecked my body beyond recognition and I have huge hang ups about my stomach and thighs. I also have ibs type issues leaving me constantly around the 6 month pregnant mark.

I've said I'll be happy in T-shirt and shorts so can still have a paddle but according to him, not taking swimwear is stupid.

Nb: I'm talking full swimsuits here, no one ever needs to see me in a bikini!

Aibu?!

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If you've found this page in search of swimwear that has been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best swimsuits for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Please don't let lack of body confidence stop you from enjoying the water. My Mum was awful for this and I can never remember her splashing in the water with us - even though she's a toned and slim size 10-12 with a couple of tiny thread veins.
I'm a wobbly size 16 with humongous varicose veins, stretch marks and cellulite everywhere and I go swimming with my son at least every week because he absolutely loves the water and making him shriek with laughter is so worth it. But I do wear cycle-type swim shorts and a properly-fitted supportive tankini because that's how I feel most comfortable.

Op I clicked on this thread thinking you were around my size to offer some solidarity!

I'm a size 18/20, more 20 to be honest due to a slight obsession with strawberry pop tarts and I'm going swimwear shopping tomorrow for my holiday. We go to Turkey in 6 days. I do not give a flying fuck!

Seriously though and I mean this kindly, most other people are more interested in how they look and feel themselves rather than critiquing you. I bet you're half the size of me but clearly don't feel good about yourself, this will be the case regardless of what you wear.

Dress for your particular shape. We are so
lucky that there is an abundance of choice available to us. So many brands have realised that there isn't a typical size 10/16/20 woman and we all have our little quirks so to speak.

Swimwear is certainly unforgiving, I agree but it's a case of making the best of what you have, flaws and all.
Good luck

Why on earth are you going on a beach holiday if you don’t plan on even going in the water? Why didn’t you choose a city break, which would probably be more fun anyway.

I'm a size 22. I wore a bikini most days.
One group of young skinny dickheads out of the whole holiday were looking in a negative way and I just said to my husband "that's a 'them' problem" They must have so little in their lives to fixate on one mother enjoying the pool with her kids! The one plus about getting older

I look crap in a swimmer as well - BUT a few months ago I bought a tankini thing that has a sort of flowing lacy overtop and I love it. It almost looks like I am wearing short cycling shorts and a cami top and it hides my fat belly a bit.
Have a look online - there are loads of different styles and often pictures of real buyers so you get a proper idea of how it looks.
Good luck and enjoy your holiday

Wear what makes you feel comfortable. It is sad that you feel too self conscious to wear a swimsuit. Maybe it’s the hurdle of putting it on for the first time that you just need to force yourself to get over. Once you’ve done that you’ll probably feel fine about it for the rest of the holiday.

Also, you can buy swimwear that is shaping and flattens your tummy.

Please don’t waste your energy and your life by caring what people you will ever see again think of your body shape. It is completely irrational. Do you think badly of people who do not have a great figure who go swimming in costumes with their families on holiday? I know it doesn’t even enter my head. Just focus on having fun and forget what you look like or what others might think. You are not going to be the biggest or the smallest in the pool or on the beach. People who know you will just look at you and see you and those who don’t will probably not really notice you at all. It is so sad that women let this kind of thing hold them back. Just try to change your mindset, no one cares what you look like in this situation.

When they get older your children will never look back and say "remember how terrible mum looked in a swimsuit " but they will look back and say " God that holiday was fun...playing in the pool with mum was brilliant "

I always think /tell myself that self consciousness is a type of conceit. How up yourself to think everyone is looking at you and judging! Everyone is worrying about their own faults.
Relax and enjoy yourself.

I say this as a size 22 bikini wearer.

Thanks everyone, I wasn't expecting half the amount of replies!

My thought process isn't based on what others think of me; I don't care at all what others look like. My rationale is that I don't like how I look.

Great idea about the cycling shorts/tankini thing. I'll have a look today.

I think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
If you want, you could wear the swimming costume underneath and swim with a t shirt on.
Your body, entirely up to you how much of it you choose to reveal or not.
Have a wonderful holiday!

Op, get yourself a 1950s style bikini. Honestly, it will change your opinion! I have this one that I mix and match with different tops and its brilliant. The rouched material on thr botyoms cover everything. The shorts style means I don't have a double bum either!

Pressures of social media posts and celebs with glam squads have given us a ridiculously unrealistic ideal to live up to! I'm a size 14/16, only 5ft 2 and had big butt, huge thighs and cellulite most of my adult life..... and now I've hit my 40's i also have an impossible to shift 'belly'. I'm due to go on holiday and have had similar thoughts but you know what i will feel more miserable and uncomfortable covering up so stuff it! Im going full on bikini and to hell with what anyone thinks - life is to short! YOLO! Check out some body confidence blogs and get some inspiration - you are not alone! www.heartyourbody.co.uk/
www.boujilingerie.com/blogs/news/love-the-skin-youre-in

Op you sound tiny, really.

I know what you mean though, I’ve never felt comfortable in swimwear, even when I had a perfect 20 year old size 8 body. Very few people can pull off string bikinis.

I wear a halter neck tankini which covers the stomach. You can also get bikini bottoms that have a waist that you can wear up or fold down. I also take either a block colour sarong or thin cover up. When we go to centerparcs or a water park I wear short board shorts.

Seafolly do this shorts swim set which might cover up the areas you are unhappy with. Will allow you to swim unlike shorts and t shirt.