Is this item mine or my dads

[wallchart]

13 years ago I went on a music course at uni. Before I went to uni my dad was always saying how pointless uni was and that he’d get me a car if I didn’t go. He kept saying uni was so pointless and expensive.

So I got a car but then changed my mind. Said I wanted to go uni after all.
I let him sell the car and he took the money.

Anyway I needed a keyboard for my course. I got a discount on the keyboard I got and got it at a massive cut to the usual retail price. The car sold for £3k which was not much less than what we paid for it and the keyboard cost £500. My dad paid for the keyboard out of the car money and I went to uni and kept the keyboard thereafter.

Anyway, I then asked my parents if I could store the keyboard at theirs. It’s been there for 3 months and out loud at my parents I said oh I think I might sell that keyboard now. My dad stepped in and said that’s my keyboard not yours You didn’t pay for it out of your pocket I did.

I didn’t know he felt that way. I went home.
I am now a piano teacher and was planning to give it to a student that has done really well and can’t afford a keyboard at all. I am friends with his mum so I have him discounted lessons and we worked with a really bad keyboard but he needs an upgraded one. I feel like this keyboard was mine but now I don’t even know. My dad is very controlling and I can’t see if this is him trying to control me or if I am out of order considering that keyboard to be mine. I don’t need it so if needs be I’ll leave it at my parents but they don’t play and have no friends. I’ve never ever seen them sell anything so that won’t happen. It’s almost like they’d rather it sat there than I have it back for some reason.
Aibu to take it back?

I considered simply taking my pencil sketch (leaving envelope with £20 in to cover 'their' costs)
But my mother is quite batshit enough to call the Police.

Is your Dad like that OP?

dont wrestle with the pig

That's even more tenuous ownership then if he's only stored it for 3 months! Apologies, I had the impression he'd had it for years. He's a misery.

Pull the plaster, get your stuff back and never look back! You'll feel so much better.

Your Dad's an arsehole.

Just take it back. Stupid man.

I don't think that is normal parental behaviour, but then neither is bribing a child not to go to university by giving them a car. Anyone normal would know it was yours not theirs, particularly 13 years later. He sounds an exceptionally unpleasant man, you have my sympathies, OP.

Horrible man.
And a jealous one too.

How petty, it's yours!

Does that mean anything any one has ever bought us becomes theirs if we no longer want it?

Should I give my mum back all my dolls that I'm going to give to a charity shop because she bought them over 40 years ago!

Either take the keyboard home saying you'll use it but give it to the student or else leave it but never her tell him about your plans again and remove your possessions from their house.

I agree with pp this is about control but you're perpetuating the parent/child relationship but keeping things at their house. Pay for storage yourself or keep your stuff in your own home, if you can't do either then get rid of it.

It sounds like a wonder he didn't ask for it back after Uni as that was what it was bought for.

Shame you didn't think to just take it & give it to the kid to practice on whilst he was having lessons with you.

What do you think it's worth?

If not much then I might buy it fro him to give to the kid.

Can he play the keyboard @wallchart?

I'd get whatever you have being stored at their place and into a cheap self-storage unit, as otherwise when you go to get it, you may find it has been sold/given away as it was belonged to them "taking up room" at their place

He sounds petty and your mum sounds spineless. I suppose all of the things your parents buy you that you need are technically theirs but who's that fucking petty? I'd leave it and leave him to his bullshit.

Been in that situation too. Parents gave me an old sofa and armchairs for my first home when they bought new. Kept throws on it as pretty shabby so nothing special. Came to sell the house to a single guy and first time buyer and he asked to buy the sofas.. He bought them for fifty quid along with some white goods of ours and when I told my father laughing I'd got fifty quid for them he refused to speak to me for over two weeks and then informed me I should have offered them the money as they had belonged to them... I was just gobsmacked.. Offered the money and was told its too late now.. Took me many more years to go no contact with such controlling odd people.... I feel for you. Get your stuff back and don't take any favours or bribes or whatever is offered in future that's what I learnt lol

Ps. Mine even used to do it over clothes and toys bought for my kids... If I sold them or gave them away when outgrown I was in serious trouble as they belonged to them and it was their money.. People are very odd x

I'd say the keyboard is yours, but not yours to give away. Find out what it's worth now and offer to buy it off him.

I'd say the keyboard is yours, but not yours to give away. How does that work? It is just such conditional owenership that caused the problemi n the first place!

A gift becomes 100% the property of the giftee instantly!

@wallchart

I can't get past him bribing you to not go to UNI, coz it's pointless. Why the F would you not want your child to go???

On top of the rest he has done, he sounds like a terrible father. Sorry but he does.

Does he hate his life? Is that why he is a horrible git? Does he want everyone else to feel as grim and miserable as he does?

I would say the keyboard IS yours, but would not have it. Let him keep it, and then ghost him. Bollocks to him.

Vile man.
Technically I paid for dd’s laptop but I consider it hers. If she sells it later, it’s hers to do as she pleases with.

wait until he's at work and just go take the bloody thing back.

@BumbleBeee69
😆😆😂
And if OP has photos of her with it over past few years it'll be very hard for dad to argue it's his. Can you imagine a police officer saying 'right and this alleged theft... Can you play it Mr OP?'

Can you imagine a police officer saying 'right and this alleged theft... Can you play it Mr OP?'

hahhaaaaaa

It's yours, it was a gift to you. Your Dad is an arse.

You need to go when he isn't there and take all of your stuff.

See what it’s worth on eBay and if it’s worth a tenner offer to buy it from him for a tenner - or offer to sell it for him on eBay, only put it on for a day and buy it yourself for a tenner.

I don't agree that it is technically his. It was equipment for uni bought for his child.

Would anyone really claim the calculator or laptop or lab coat they bought for their child to use in their education was technically theirs?