Is this item mine or my dads

[wallchart]

13 years ago I went on a music course at uni. Before I went to uni my dad was always saying how pointless uni was and that he’d get me a car if I didn’t go. He kept saying uni was so pointless and expensive.

So I got a car but then changed my mind. Said I wanted to go uni after all.
I let him sell the car and he took the money.

Anyway I needed a keyboard for my course. I got a discount on the keyboard I got and got it at a massive cut to the usual retail price. The car sold for £3k which was not much less than what we paid for it and the keyboard cost £500. My dad paid for the keyboard out of the car money and I went to uni and kept the keyboard thereafter.

Anyway, I then asked my parents if I could store the keyboard at theirs. It’s been there for 3 months and out loud at my parents I said oh I think I might sell that keyboard now. My dad stepped in and said that’s my keyboard not yours You didn’t pay for it out of your pocket I did.

I didn’t know he felt that way. I went home.
I am now a piano teacher and was planning to give it to a student that has done really well and can’t afford a keyboard at all. I am friends with his mum so I have him discounted lessons and we worked with a really bad keyboard but he needs an upgraded one. I feel like this keyboard was mine but now I don’t even know. My dad is very controlling and I can’t see if this is him trying to control me or if I am out of order considering that keyboard to be mine. I don’t need it so if needs be I’ll leave it at my parents but they don’t play and have no friends. I’ve never ever seen them sell anything so that won’t happen. It’s almost like they’d rather it sat there than I have it back for some reason.
Aibu to take it back?

OP this reminds me of my parents.
The only thing I wanted from them is a pencil sketch done of me when I was 15. I remember paying for it. They say they did (it cost about £10? from a pavement artist). They had it in their attic. I asked for it.
They said NO as they paid for it.

I think it doesn't matter. Would you really go to your parents house and walk off with a gift from them that they and you know you are going to get rid of when you don't have their backing? Seems harsh and line the basis for sone hard feelings

The fact he paid for it out of the money he got back from the car is irrelevant. He gifted you the keyboard as a completely separate transaction. Therefore it’s yours and he’s trying to take back a gift.

I'm stuck at the part where your father would give you a car NOT to go to university. Is he frightened you'll have a more fulfilling life than him?

Personally I'd be tempted to go get the keyboard under the guise of using it, and then sell it to the kid for £20, then give your father the receipt and the £20.

Technically it’s his but he gifted it to you and you have used it for well over a decade so I’d say, by rights it should be yours.

I’d take it when your Dad isn’t home.

It’s hardly like your Dad is going to get any use out of it. He’s just being a selfish controlling prick by the sounds of it.

The issue is whether it was given as a gift or whether he was expecting it back therefore making it a loan.
The way you talk about it, it sounds like it was a gift. And once you have given someone something, the property becomes theirs to do as they please. You can't change your mind or make the gift conditional after the fact.

I’d be tempted to shove it up his horrible arse to be honest.

I completely disagree with posters saying it is his. He bought it, but gave it to you, it's yours. I bought every single one of my DS's toys with money that I earned, but they are his toys, not mine. They were no longer 'mine' when I gave them to him.

He IS being unreasonable.

Just to clarify I asked the aibu not from a legal perspective but more from a wtf as if my family think this way.
I can and will leave it there if it comes down to it but I was surprised and wouldn’t do this to my own dc.

He's certainly being unreasonable.

But he's had possession of it for a number of years. And can OP show it is her's as a gift? So that muddies the waters.
And as she plans to give it away, not even to her own child? Maybe I've misunderstood?

I think she's made it harder for herself as this is a
He said She said situation unless she has proof.

Oh. He's only had it for 3 months... ? Easier to argue OP as owning it then

Letter to parents "thankyou for storing my keyboard after uni, however I want it back now. Please make it available for me"
Then take it from there

My parents were a bit like this when my they split. The piano, which was bought for me as a birthday present, was given away to my s-in-l who then sold it. There was no explanation. Other birthday presents of mine (a music stand, some pictures) were also taken to their respective new houses as theirs. Parents are odd.

Well as a comparison - my DD did a music degree. before she left for uni my H (now X) and I bought her a digital piano as she needed it for her studies. It cost about £700 at the time. Several years on if she wanted to sell it I wouldn;t bat an eyelid - it is hers, it was a gift she can do whatever she likes with it (including give it away if she so chooses) i don;t consider I am anything to do with it anymore. And even though he is a bit of a tool in many ways, her dad wouldn;t dream of reclaiming it either. In fact he's probably fogotten it exists.

Your dad sounds very mean - not least because he tried to bribe you not to go to uni with a car - most parents encourage thier children in educational endeavours (only know a couple of people who have kicked off when their kids wanted to go to uni and they were both men and both horrible people).

IMO the keyboard is yours, and you want to do a nice thing with it- most decent parents would be pleased you want to encourage a youngster who can use it.

It’s his. He’s a tight fucker, but he owns it, as far as I can tell.

Makes you want to throw back everything they have ever 'given' you.
Foolish man, he will have no relationship with his DD at this rate.
Did you say they have no friends? Can't think why....

If it’s technically his, doesn’t that mean that all the presents we buy our lids( or even others) belong to us?
And that’s without the car thing.

If it’s just being stored there along with other stuff while you move, just get all your stuff back when the move is done, and hand it over to the kid as a “long term loan”. Your dad doesn’t need to know anything about it.

Just go collect 'some' of your stuff that's stored at theirs, and take the keyboard at the same time. If they ask, tell them you need it to teach pupil A, but don't expand on that. At some point give it to pupil A. If it ever comes out, just say it's loaned to pupil a while you teach them.

That way the kid gets what he needs, and your dad doesn't get mad?

@KurriKurri I’m pretty sure my dad had forgotten about it until it arrived on his doorstop for storage.
I think maybe like some have said that if I really want it back then I will go and collect all my stuff and just try take it with me and if he says anything at least I know where I stand.

Technically he paid for it and he's stored it, it's his.

Morally, it's yours. He's an absolute wanker! Who 'takes back' a gift for their child? Even if they're an adult now.

Is there any hope he's keeping it for sentimental reasons? I'm sure not, by the sounds of him.

I'm NC with my narcissistic father and this is the sort of shit he'd pull.

Not many people have a career that's directly related their degree. I bet he hates the fact that you do! Yeah, massive waste of time.

Life's too short to have horrible people in your life.

@TuesdayAfter he’s stored it 3 months out of 13 years, I might even understand if I’d rocked up 13 years later asking for it back. It is really not an incredible keyboard by any measure.

@Minesril I went to one of the top music colleges in the country. Wasn’t good enough for my dad obviously. I’m so past caring. My only regret now is blimmin putting that keyboard anywhere near him. And also the way I feel about what else they might say actually that’s ours too, I’m dreading going back to get my stuff now.