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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 08/07/2019 22:09

I have a friend who flew from New Zealand to England for one day for a wedding. Utter lunacy but perfectly possible : )

Pootle40 · 08/07/2019 22:10

I would never do this but then I've done the journey to Oz numerous times so I know what I'm letting myself in for. The last thing I would want to do having literally got off that hellish flight is turn around two days later to do it all again.

everythingthelighttouches · 08/07/2019 22:18

If you're invited to be best man/MOH, i get it. If you're travelling a distance but staying for a holiday, i get that. If you're going with your partner or family, that's a shared experience ... If you're super rich, maybe this is no big deal.....

RabbityMcRabbit · 08/07/2019 22:19

If you can afford it I would do it! Life's too short x

SoyDora · 08/07/2019 22:20

f you're invited to be best man/MOH, i get it. If you're travelling a distance but staying for a holiday, i get that. If you're going with your partner or family, that's a shared experience ... If you're super rich, maybe this is no big deal.....

So it’s only the OP’s specific circumstances that are a problem then?

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 22:20

No-one is 'corralled' into going to a wedding half way around the world! Grin You only go if you want to, and can afford it. Some people had to leave to come straight home (work and family). The people who carried on the party wanted to be there.

I get the feeling you don't really understand how long-standing, good friendships work, though.

And you've taken up the position of resident misery on the thread, so of course you have to say everyone secretly didn't want to be there, holidaying, hanging out, swimming at the beaches and drinking the region dry of Sauvignon Blanc! Wink🥂

Anyway, don't worry, no chance of anyone asking you to partake.

everythingthelighttouches · 08/07/2019 22:22

The OP has explained the background and this is obviously a very special relationship. I'm sure he would have done the same for you. You obviously have something special.

edamismadebackwards · 08/07/2019 22:25

I'm only on the first page, will rtft now, but I'd do it! I did UK to USA for a weekend last year after a major bereavement and it was ok

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 22:28

Sushi.

I am honest, which a lot of people are not, for fear of offending others. And will do things they really really don't want to for that reason.

I am true to myself, have great pals, a good DP and we jog along. But there is no way I would go half way around the world for a wedding. Ever. And I could afford to do it Biz Class if I wanted to, but I don't, and won't.

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 08/07/2019 22:30

If you're going with your partner or family, that's a shared experience ...

Bizarre statement. Are individual experiences in some way inferior to those involving a partner? I’m kinda gobsmacked that people actually think this.

everythingthelighttouches · 08/07/2019 22:35

likedolphins i think most people (unless extremely well off) would go with their family or partner to Australia.

everythingthelighttouches · 08/07/2019 22:38

This is quite an unusual situation. The OP has explained why. She has special history with this friend.

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 08/07/2019 22:41

That is a very weird attitude. I went to Australia without a partner and had a great time Confused

myrtleWilson · 08/07/2019 22:42

everything give it a rest with your not so subtle digs at the OP.

BIWI · 08/07/2019 22:43

Agree, how bizarre! I went to Oz a couple of years ago, on my own. It was to stay with DH's family for a couple of weeks. Had a great time. I also had a holiday (in a hotel) in Barbados on my own, a few years ago. Again, had a great time. I don't need to be joined at the hip with my DH!

WingingWonder · 08/07/2019 22:45

I’ve done it
Bloody fantastic

CaptainNelson · 08/07/2019 22:49

What MsTSwift said:
no wonder the planet is well and truly screwed
7 pages into the thread before someone mentions the climate cost of flying. Unbelievable

Thehappygardener · 08/07/2019 22:52

Haven’t read the whole thread, but yes, do go. I would!

It’ll be fun, planes aren’t late generally, don’t get drunk on the flight there, do drink plenty of water before you arrive.

And then be the best guest in the place and get some fab photos! 😊✅🌺

everythingthelighttouches · 08/07/2019 22:53

likedolphins and BIWI but did you also have young children at the time?

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 22:55

But there is no way I would go half way around the world for a wedding. Ever. And I could afford to do it Biz Class if I wanted to, but I don't, and won't.

It's lucky then, that no-one's inviting you. Or if they do, you're at complete liberty to say no. Confused

Remind me why you not wanting to go half way round the world to a wedding matters to anyone? The OP? Me? Anyone?

Abillity2019 · 08/07/2019 23:05

One of my friends went to Barbados for a weekend once (it was a surprise she thought she was going camping! Flew out Saturday morning came home Sunday evening)

How is that even possible?

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 23:09

How is it not possible?

People are flying for a weekend. Not in a weekend.

When DH and I first stayed going out, I flew to Chicago when he'd been there for the week for work. I flew for the weekend, to join him. There on the Friday, back on the Sunday overnight, and straight into work.

SW6mama · 08/07/2019 23:11

For decisions like this I always ask myself “what would I regret more looking back at my life aged 95”

PoloMama · 08/07/2019 23:15

I used to fly back & forth to Aus a lot. I never really had a problem with jet lag. I’d recommend:

  • make sure you sleep a lot on the plane.
  • definitely land in AU in their morning and, whatever you do, do not go to sleep until their evening. It’s much easier to force yourself to stay awake than it is to force yourself to sleep when your body clock is saying you should be wide awake.

It’s do-able. You’ll be living in a jetlag bubble for the weekend but you’ll have fun. Go for it!!!

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 23:20

definitely land in AU in their morning and, whatever you do, do not go to sleep until their evening. It’s much easier to force yourself to stay awake than it is to force yourself to sleep when your body clock is saying you should be wide awake.

Me and others have recommended the opposite!

I've done the flight many, many times, and by the time you disembark, clear customs, get to wherever you're staying and shower, the exhaustion will hit. It will be impossible not to give in to sleep on that first day.

Much better to arrive later in the day, and not have to force yourself to stay up.

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