Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
BadLad · 08/07/2019 23:21

One of my friends went to Barbados for a weekend once (it was a surprise she thought she was going camping! Flew out Saturday morning came home Sunday evening)

She left Barbados on Sunday evening, presumably? Not arrived back in the UK.

If her flight left at 6am on Saturday, she'd arrive in Barbados at 2:30, or 9:30 local time, so she could be in her hotel around 11am with luck. Then if she was flying back at 10pm the next day, she'd have to leave for the airport around 7pm, I suppose.

It's doable, but more hassle than I could be arsed with.

flyingspaghettimonster · 08/07/2019 23:24

It is not worth it. Even if you are best friends. Because this is his wedding day, and the time around the wedding is for his wife and him, how would she feel with him having to dedicate his time around and at the wedding to you to catch up.and reminisce? You would be stealing her limelight that way even if she isn't worried about you having feelings for him. And 1000 pounds could pay for a bunch of fun adventures with your 4 kids or other more valuavle things. then there is the increased risi of blood clots from so much travel time...

leafybean · 08/07/2019 23:24

The carbon footprint of this alone is enough to make it a NO from me....

crustycrab · 08/07/2019 23:26

Haven't read the full thread. Can you take the kids? If not then no, it's too short

Shortstuff99 · 08/07/2019 23:29

Idiotic and you’d regret it the moment the outbound flight took off

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 23:30

The OP has booked the flight. She's going.

The thread is more than 600 posts long.

Why do people come onto such a mammoth thread and only respond to the OP?

Catwaving · 08/07/2019 23:36

Such a depressing thread but this isn't about OP and her individual decision to go

The fact that easily 70% said something like - yeah!, great!, go for it! and -maybe worst of all- why not?(without a hint of irony) is shocking

When I saw the title of the Thread I stupidly assumed the OP was worrying about the environmental impact, not the money and get lag

I thought there'd be a discussion on the moral dilemmas we're all facing and at worst the ways to offset it, or make up for it somehow

PoloMama · 08/07/2019 23:36

I guess it depends on the person. The worst trip I had was when I landed in AU evening and then found I couldn’t sleep during their night time. It always worked really well for me landing in AU morning time and staying awake until their evening. I’d then get a good night’s sleep in and feel ‘ok’ the next day. Same for the return flight to UK. But I do sleep well on planes which will help.

Also OP if you end up with a long transfer it’s worth checking if the transfer airport has a hotel inside it where you can sleep for a few hours, freshen up etc.

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 23:43

Sorry it's been so disappointing for you, Catwaving.

I suspect, if we're all going to Hell in a handcart, we probably want to rack up a few good memories to look back on when the apocalypse comes...

Polo - in my dim and distant past of just booking whichever was the cheapest flight, I'd often end up on ones that landed at less than ideal times.

If I landed in the morning, I'd be in bed and dead to the world come 1pm, and then wide awake at around 9pm for the rest of the night! Definitely evening landings were far preferable.

Catwaving · 09/07/2019 00:03

Hmmmmmm, Sushi, let me guess
You don't have children do you

cherriesandoranges · 09/07/2019 00:04

@HufflepuffHarpy just do it! You only live once. yes it's nuts but whatever. If you're OH is ok and the kids are looked after and you have the money I'd totally do it!!!!! Please just do it!!!

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 00:07

Yes, 2. Why?

helpIhateclothesshopping · 09/07/2019 00:20

Personally, if it was me spending that kind of money, I'd want to spend a bit more time there to enjoy it properly but I have also done the flight, admittedly not in such a short time, but managed to avoid jet lag both ways. I was so tired after going to a family wedding before I flew out that I slept pretty much the whole way on the plane and woke up in the morning, when we arrived.
It's your friend and it's ultimately your decision, I'd loved to have gone to my bestie's wedding (in Bali) and to have had her at ours, but it wasn't to be. Can you not skype the wedding and fly out later in the year for longer, as a family? That way you get to spend more time with them.

BottleBeach · 09/07/2019 00:35

FWIW I’ve had friends do this flight purely to maintain platinum status class etc .. as it accrues big points for future upgrades and lounge access.
This is fucking obscene.

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 00:39

@DexyMidnight
I'm not lashing out. I'm stating a fact.

The OP is not thinking of anything but her own pleasure in a frivolous trip to the wedding of an old friend, where her presence might be welcomed but is not required. The cost †o the planet would require 20 years of recycling to balance her trip, impossible since she's told us she flies often. The biggest causes of climate change are flying, driving and meat in that order with flying by far the worst offence. Climate change is not something which might happen in the near future, it's happening now and it means we all have to take effective action.

The argument about children is nonsensical. Environment does not mean environs. It means all living things, including my children. Who may one day grow to be the people who care for you in your dotage.

Strawberrypancakes · 09/07/2019 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 00:50

it’s business flights.

The planet can't, and doesn't, distinguish between types of flights. They all, each and every single one, cause damage.

Catwaving · 09/07/2019 00:56

70% of flights are holidays, not business travel

LaurieMarlow · 09/07/2019 01:01

It’s all very well blaming business flights, but there are reasons why companies send people abroad, just as there are reasons why people fly for fun. As a pp points out, the planet doesn’t distinguish.

Employees don’t get sent on long haul flights for shits and giggles. It’s very costly so it’s really not done when a Skype meeting would suffice.

I mean, we all need to cut down, but placing the onus on business flights isnt the answer.

Yeahnahmum · 09/07/2019 01:05

Op you are crazy for flying over to Australia for the weekend Shock. And also: you are the best friend we all need!Blush

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 01:11

from The Telegraph, 26 May 2019

one example of the cost of the OP's "jolly".

BottleBeach · 09/07/2019 01:32

I suspect, if we're all going to Hell in a handcart, we probably want to rack up a few good memories to look back on when the apocalypse comes...

The problem is, the apocalypse isn’t going to be something that happens in an afternoon and we can all go happily off into oblivion comforted by the memories of our foreign holidays and shopping trips and shiny cars.

We are facing decades and decades of millions of people being displaced by flooding, fires, drought, famine, and wars over resources. Respiratory illnesses caused by pollution. Epidemics caused by desperate conditions in refugee camps and lack of clean water. Deteriorating nutrition content of our food due to depleted soil quality. The divide between people who can afford to protect themselves from the effects of climate change, and those who are left exposed, will widen. People will become angry and resentful and bitter and fearful; suspicious of anyone who might threaten our own access to resources. Authoritarian governments who promise to keep us safe will try to do so at the expense of our freedoms.

These are not wild internet conspiracy theories. These things are all happening. Now. Not in some far away place in the global south. These things are already affecting us all.

Scientists who have spent decades examining climate data and reviewing other scientists’ work are telling us we have approximately 11 years in which to make radical changes to our reliance on fossil fuels, or we will go beyond the point of no return.

To adapt the metaphor, if our house was on fire we would not shrug and suggest having a bbq. We would call the emergency services and do everything we could to put it out. We wouldn’t leave our children upstairs and hope they adapted to the heat and the smoke.

It is not productive for us to blame each other or ourselves for how many flights we have taken or how many children we have had or what our toothbrush is made from. We are all part of this toxic culture. But equally we cannot sit on our hands and wait for politicians, or China, or oil companies, to do something about it. It is now inevitable that the way we live our lives is going to undergo radical change over the next 25 years. The earlier we come to terms with this the easier it will be for us all.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 09/07/2019 01:46

Im sorry @BottleBeach but i think the notion that we should forego opportunities such as this whilst Trump is still denying the reality of climate change is ludicrous.

I take climate change very seriously but i also work in a job where I encounter profound psychological suffering every day.

Yes we need to be compassionate towards the environment... and each other, but we also need to be compassionate toward ourselves. by doing those things that enrich us & nurture us .

@HufflepuffHarpy you sound happy , and a brill friend . Go you Thanks

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 02:42

we also need to be compassionate toward ourselves. by doing those things that enrich us & nurture us .

The OP isn't going too be enriched or nurtured by flying halfway around the world for an old friend's wedding. She's chasing rainbows. Enrichment and nurture will be closer to home.

Tavannach · 09/07/2019 02:46

It is not productive for us to blame each other or ourselves for how many flights we have taken or how many children we have had or what our toothbrush is made from. We are all part of this toxic culture. But equally we cannot sit on our hands and wait for politicians, or China, or oil companies, to do something about it. It is now inevitable that the way we live our lives is going to undergo radical change over the next 25 years. The earlier we come to terms with this the easier it will be for us all.

I totally agree.