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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 08/07/2019 21:22

Delighted you are going.

I would too.

Have a blast.

SoyDora · 08/07/2019 21:28

How the fucking fuck is it ‘intrusive’ to go to a wedding you’ve been invited to?!

LaurieMarlow · 08/07/2019 21:30

How the fucking fuck is it ‘intrusive’ to go to a wedding you’ve been invited to?!

The mind boggles. Raging fit of jealousy from poster in question is all I’ve got.

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 21:31

How the fucking fuck is it ‘intrusive’ to go to a wedding you’ve been invited to?!

It isn't.

Some people just seemingly don't have old, special friends, a supportive DH and family, and/or the means and wherewithal to do this, so it's big time sour grapes.

beckywiththecraphair · 08/07/2019 21:33

I'm glad you're going OP it's lovely that you have a friendship like this and that both of your partners are supportive of you.

For anyone worrying about the environmental impact I've never been on a plane, I can't drive and I don't eat meat so you can take this one for me! Also the single worst thing you can do for the planet is to have a child, presumably all those pontificating are parents? Or why are you here..........

userxx · 08/07/2019 21:43

@Outsomnia You really do suck the joy out of life don't you 😞.

Feelingquitewarm · 08/07/2019 21:43

Look at this info graphic on research gate, hoping it works!

www.researchgate.net/figure/Breakdown-of-the-UK-average-carbon-footprint-This-information-and-accompanying-figure_fig3_258169307

it’s a bit old but straightforward to interpret. 1 flight to New York, emits more carbon than driving 10,000 miles. That’s probably far far more than most people drive in a year. Yet one flight to New York matches it in carbon emissions in a matter of hours.

How much do you think a flight to Sydney emits? This isn’t about it not being your problem, because there are bigger offenders out there, it is about us all taking personal responsibility and making individual choices to do the best we can. If we all change our habits and behaviours, we can make a difference and maybe even slow down the rate of warming.

My DH and I make many choices (and sacrifices) for this reason. We go without many things/ experiences. And campaign and protest for change. But that’s ok, because it is in all of our interests. Please consider your choices, and whether your want of something is more important than your need for the planet to be capable of supporting all of us.

Actionhasmagic · 08/07/2019 21:46

I’ve just done a week in California and struggled with the jet lag.... I wouldn’t recommend a weekend in aus ! Could you plan a visit another time when you can go for longer?

ArabellaDoreenFig · 08/07/2019 21:48

Well if you are after opinions (which I assume you are otherwise why post?) then I’m going with brutal honesty- it all seems a bit desperate and over the top to me OP.

Feels like you are keen to prove what a good friendship you have.

And no i don’t think it’s because he’s a bloke friend that you shouldn’t be close or excited about him getting married, but there is something just not quite ringing right about your desire to get their at all costs.

What if DH said he was uncomfortable with you going ?

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 21:49

Love you all.

Going to Oz for the weekend to see the love of your life getting married is totally daft. But hey ho, off you go and refute that fact.

It is not a family member either, let's remember. But some MN posters are living in a parallel universe. I wouldn't travel more than two hours to a wedding. Not to mind 24 hours.

Anyway, I am persona non grata for saying my piece. So be it. I am rational at least without jumping up and down with excitement for others.

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 21:49

@Actionhasmagic - there are nearly 600 posts on this thread.

Things have moved on. The OP has booked her flight.

jade9390 · 08/07/2019 21:50

If you are paying that much for a flight, it would make more sense to stay a few extra days and see some of the place, if you can.

LifeImplosionImminent · 08/07/2019 21:50

Go for it - it's bonkers beacuse I'd want to stay much longer if I was spending all that money and going all that way but YOLO.

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 08/07/2019 21:51

arabella I would not have decided to go without DH’s support, obviously he comes above my friend. It’s not ‘at all costs’ at all, it’s a considered decision.

OP posts:
SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 21:53

I wouldn't travel more than two hours to a wedding. Not to mind 24 hours.

There are lots of thing you would or wouldn't do, that I don't think many of us would care to emulate. Grin

About 30 people travelled 24 hours for mine and DH's wedding, 12 years ago. I'll get the smelling salts out for you.

We spent the first half of our honeymoon afterwards with them all - it was unforgettable.

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 08/07/2019 21:54

outsomnia and therein lies the difference between us, I drove 2 hours last week for lunch with a friend, I’d go plenty further for a birthday and I wouldn’t begrudge it, I’m happy to do it.

OP posts:
Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 21:59

Sushi, good for you.

I'd safely say that sharing a honeymoon with a couple would be hell on earth. Sorry now.

ArabellaDoreenFig · 08/07/2019 22:00

Fair enough. The world needs more people who are happy to put themselves out for others!
I admire your stamina OP, I only have 2 DC and can barely manage going out to dinner with DH!

SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 22:02

I'm sure you would, Outsomnia, I'm sure you would. Wink

We rented a huge house in Marlborough and had a blast. Our friends and family are great craic, though. So it was good fun.

Slightly differs from the OP - as people came for a holiday as well, but totally support what the OP is doing.

SoyDora · 08/07/2019 22:04

I wouldn't travel more than two hours to a wedding. Not to mind 24 hours.

Well that’s your decision but I personally think that’s pretty weird. I have many friends and family who love more than 2 hours away, I would travel to their weddings without hesitation.
In fact DH and I are flying 4 hours for a wedding in September. A female friend of DH’s. Is that intrusive and desperate? To be honest we’re just looking forward to some child free time in a lovely destination with some great friends.

SydneyAnneBristow · 08/07/2019 22:06

I wish you were my life long friend OP, you sound wonderful! Glad it’s booked and I hope you have a fantastic time celebrating your oldest’s friend’s wedding Smile

SoyDora · 08/07/2019 22:07

And I’m bloody glad people travelled more than 2 hours for our wedding, as otherwise our parents, DH’s sister, 2 of my bridesmaids and DH’s best man wouldn’t have been there!

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 22:08

Sushi,

Great Craic, sounds like you might be of Irish heritage like myself.

No offence intended about your wedding, but some weddings are hard work for the guests! They might grin and bear it, but it can be difficult being corralled somewhere with no escape possible!

Despite what you think, many think the same. But are afraid to say it.

Xmasbaby11 · 08/07/2019 22:09

I would not contemplate this because of environmental impact of a long haul flight. I'm sure it has crossed everyone's mind but it's not convenient to accept the truth.

I know the decision has been made but it's still worth saying.