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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
Catwaving · 08/07/2019 20:22

Clairscot, I feel so disgusted and shocked too (although I know better what to expect now) but we shouldn't leave the forum

These debates need to be had, particularly where somehow people are missing the message that to some of us is so loud and ckear

The attitude "well she's going now so you may as well shut up about it" is short-sighted and immature, not everyone can handle different ideas
But they need expressing

For those who talk about our grandchildren's lives, it's about YOUR lives and YOUR children's.

Grandchildren for most of us simply will not happen as things are going.....

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 20:23

I only attend weddings of nieces and nephews now. Anything outside of that is just meh to me. My choice, and believe me, no one cares as long as you give a gift.

To go to Australia for a so called friend's wedding seems massively odd to me.

You only have to look back at threads where Destination Weddings in Europe are a total pain in the backside for everyone concerned.

There may be more to this.

Peregrane · 08/07/2019 20:28

Really Sushi, you think carriers will be making flights regardless of whether or not people book them? If demand dropped, so would the supply.

MarshaBradyo · 08/07/2019 20:29

And for the business stories of flying for one day they must love that consumers care not, all the cost to us and benefit to them

No need for pledges to use telepresence for X percent of meetings, tfft they must think

shiningstar2 · 08/07/2019 20:30

there is no way I would spend all of that to spend most of my time in the air. By the time you buy an outfit for the wedding and a wedding gift it would come to enough for a small family holiday or a luxury few days chilling with your partner. These things always cost more than originally planned. Add to this airport meals/snacks and maybe gifts for the kids its adding up. You say you will fly in and out op but I imagine you might need to hire a hotel room as well. You would surely need a shower and place to change. Taxis to and from airport. Really adds up when including only some of these extras.

Coliebean28 · 08/07/2019 20:31

100% go!!!!
Why should you not? My friend lives in aus, if my children where older, and I was able to go I 100% would go. It's a once in a life time opportunity X

JJ2014 · 08/07/2019 20:33

We did this last year actually. Flew in on Thursday morning, flew out Sunday. You’ll be really tired, but it’s not impossible. Sleep on the plane basically. It did take us 2 weeks to adjust again, but it’s a good story! And we didn’t regret going. If you fly through Singapore- get a small delay and get a massage and a shower, will help towards feeling normal!

GorkyMcPorky · 08/07/2019 20:37

It seems intrusive and a touch obsessive to me, but I don't suppose you want to hear that.

theWarOnPeace · 08/07/2019 20:38

Thing is, Claire that the OP going to Australia is a mere pinprick on the unimaginably vast surface of catastrophic climate disaster. When you think of the factories in poor countries, yes the ones that supply Primark/Zara/H&M/M&S ad infinitum, simply pouring out all of their chemical waste into rivers and streams, or consider the effects on the planet every time someone shops at Aldi or Lidl or basically anywhere that isn’t sourcing locally, which we all do - don’t we? That’s where the issues really are. Big businesses flying their staff around for meetings that should have been emails. Cars in cities with absolutely brilliant public transport that renders them entirely unnecessary, piles and piles of rubbish because we’re all always bloody thirsty and hungry.

I get that air travel has a massive impact, I really do, but unless you’re going to start campaigning against the use of everything that keeps you in your own comfort zone, then you don’t have enough of an argument. I promise you I apply this to myself, too. I try my best to buy locally, buy ethically, but sometimes I do grab a Snickers from the corner shop and then realise something. I don’t know where the chocolate came from and if they used child labour, was the chocolate shipped for a thousand miles, then processed, along with all the other components, mixed with palm oil, packed off again to be sold having done goodness knows how many more miles in the process? I feel guilty and worried and all of those panicked feelings of impending doom that lots of people probably do, but the OP is not the problem here. It’s all of these rich industries that rely on our rampant consumerism and what we have come to understand as our ‘needs’.

Ask yourself what you’ve eaten today, what you’ve used and where you’ve been. Trace it all back and make some changes in your own life.

There’s a whole island in the Maldives covered in rubbish, half of which could have been recycled, that the big hotels use as their bin. People all over the world still burn their rubbish, plastic and all. Companies like Nestle destroy entire ecosystems and the communities and animals that rely on them, for profit. Watch a documentary about Chinese factories and then look at where your stuff comes from. I’m not saying this to one person I’m saying it to everyone that thinks us as individuals are the main culprits. I choose local, I cut down consumption, I recycle, but I also donate to organisations that fight it all in a much wider scale, I write letters and emails to companies and go to protests. Who knows if it helps, but it’s the big companies and corrupt systems that are your villains in all of this, not the OP.

drquin · 08/07/2019 20:39

Intrusive?
To attend a wedding she's been invited to 🙄

celticprincess · 08/07/2019 20:39

It took me almost a week to sort out jet lag when I went to Australia. We stayed 3 weeks and then the jet lag again coming home - which wasn’t as bad. I did have a jet lagged baby and toddler to deal with in the equation though and didn’t sleep well on the flight due to the kids. It may have been better had I have been able to sleep on the flight and sleep longer in one go on arrival. The heat plus the jet lag made me feel quite unwell for the first week of the holiday.

momtoboys · 08/07/2019 20:41

Life is short! Go!

Uptheshard · 08/07/2019 20:41

Book it! I was air crew and we did lots of mad trips.. l.a. for the weekend... night stops in riga then a night in new york. The adrenaline will keep you going! Try to go traveller plus on b.a. ..it will have your sanity. ... economy might be a bit shit

GorkyMcPorky · 08/07/2019 20:43

Yes. It's so intimate.

2chillies · 08/07/2019 20:44

I flew to the uk for a weekend to attend a wedding - all booked a few days before flight so no time for doubting sanity of it all. week left NZ on a Wednesday evening - arrived Heathrow then drive to Exeter on Friday afternoon - great weekend then back out on the Monday night. If it’s important just go

irregularegular · 08/07/2019 20:44

You won't really be jet lagged after the journey back as you won't adjust to Australian time. Tired, but not jet lagged. I also think jet lag is worse 2-3 days in than the first day, as initially you sleep because you are so tired after the flight. But then you don't sleep because you are not quite as tired and are jet lagged. So it won't be as bad as you might think.

tolerable · 08/07/2019 20:47

look at it in negative. would you rather regret going or not going?
enjoy xx

MdNdD · 08/07/2019 20:47

I know people who have. Just don’t bother trying to adjust to the time difference. I did it for a week, no problems.

You only live once, just do it :)

Outsomnia · 08/07/2019 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HufflepuffHarpy · 08/07/2019 21:05

outsomnia you are now just twisting everything to suit your agenda - I am happily married, I have no desire to be the bride. I was invited, and I double checked with my friend and his fiancée before I booked. I am a parent to 4dc but I am also a person in my own right and it does not make me a bad parent to spend time away from my dc when they are with their father and grandparents. It doesn’t make me crazy to want to attend a wedding f of my oldest friend.

OP posts:
SushiForAmateurs · 08/07/2019 21:11

Huffle - ignore Outsomnia!

Outsomnia - you seem to know the situation, and the friendship, much better than the OP herself!

In fact, you sound quite bitter and pissed off. I can practically see you sitting behind your phone with your catsbum fave.

Cannyhandleit · 08/07/2019 21:13

@HufflepuffHarpy I think the problem is no one wants @Outsomnia to attend their weddings and she/he is a bit bitter!
I have flown to Australia for my (male) friends wedding, I was lucky enough to take 3 weeks but I would 100% have gone for a shorter period if there was no other choice!
There is some crazy people posting on here now!

LaurieMarlow · 08/07/2019 21:14

I’d go. Prepare to feel like utter shit when it’s all over though. Grin

Some of the comments on here are batshit. She’s been invited. It is never unreasonable to consider attending a wedding you’ve been invited to ffs.

The bigger question about the environmental impact is a much bigger question. From that POV it doesn’t much matter if she spends two nights or two months.

Mind you a colleague of mine flew to China for a meeting and back. She didn’t spend the night.

LaurieMarlow · 08/07/2019 21:17

OP would like to be the bride methinks lol.

The B+G will totally understand, and may not care much at the end of the day from afar either

Jeez, reign in the random, unfounded bitchery will you. You sound unhinged.

HufflepuffHarpy · 08/07/2019 21:20

Oh I accept the fact I will be a zombie when I get back but luckily my dc will happily snuggle down for a duvet day and movie marathon with me!

And that’s why I won’t enter into the environmental debate on this. The issue is huge, beyond the individual to solve.

OP posts: