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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spiking tea with breastmilk

73 replies

Spinmynipplenuts · 07/07/2019 00:56

This is my first AIBU so I’m a bit nervous but I’m genuinely wondering if I am being unreasonable!

I just watched an Instagram story where someone made tea for someone and used their breastmilk instead of milk. The told the person what they had done after he drank the tea.

They thought they were being hilarious but it feels wrong to me. If someone asked to taste the breastmilk fair brought but to “spike” the tea for a joke seems wrong to me.

So AIBU to think she shouldn’t have done it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spinmynipplenuts · 07/07/2019 00:56

Fair enough not fair brought!

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 07/07/2019 01:01

Yanbu

Streamside · 07/07/2019 01:01

I wonder would it seem as funny if it was any other body fluid.

RagingWhoreBag · 07/07/2019 01:04

Yeah, no, that's not ok.

I breastfed all my DCs so don't have an issue with BM per se, but putting anything into someone's food/drink without their knowledge is not on, (especially if you know they won't be ok with it, hence the need to spike it.)

For someone who finds the idea of breastfeeding gross (of which there will sadly be plenty) this is akin to putting cat's milk in there! Generally we're only ok with drinking cow's milk (or potentially goat/sheep, although I personally wouldn't) and only then when it's been pasteurised and refrigerated etc. I'd hate to drink milk straight from the cow without it being sanitised and cooled down. If I found out I'd unwittingly consumed a friend's breast milk there's no way I'd want to spend time with that friend again.

No idea about the practicalities of spreading illness etc via BM but even if its a tiny possibility, it should never be done unknowingly.

Lottle · 07/07/2019 01:04

Definitely very wrong. Even worse somehow if the victim isn't DP to me.

Could it have been staged? Hope so!

Cheby · 07/07/2019 01:09

I wonder would it seem as funny if it was any other body fluid.

While I don’t think this is an ok thing to have done, this statement is ridiculous. Breast milk is a food. It’s not comparable to other bodily fluids in the way you are referring to.

Original poster
Spinmynipplenuts · 07/07/2019 01:12

I messaged them basically saying I hope it was staged! I have no problem with breastmilk myself but it was the “spiking” a drink with that is essentially someone else’s bodily fluids that didn’t sit right with me. If someone ASKED to taste it then fine, work away that’s their decision.

I fully expect to be blocked for even asking to be honest!

OP posts:
maidenover · 07/07/2019 01:25

You know the milk we usually put in tea is a cow’s bodily fluid don’t you?

I agree it’s not hilarious but it’s not a prank I could get that worked up over.

Justaboy · 07/07/2019 01:29

Ha! my mum used to do that for my dads tea in his flask for work!

Only if she had run out of dairy milk of course;!

BananaFace5 · 07/07/2019 01:37

Breast milk is like any other bodily fluid. It is made from proteins and sugars drawn from your blood. Yes cows milk is the same but it is pasteurised before we drink it for the most part, also hopefully it is always consumed by those who have consented to it (please lets not get into an argument about the cows consenting, thats for another post). It is wrong. A lady in the US reportedly is doing 20yrs in prison after licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf, a similar type of action

mathanxiety · 07/07/2019 02:08

It feels wrong to me too, and I am speaking as a mother who bfed five DCs.

I am not sure how, but it strikes me as a form of exhibitionism. (Please don't accuse me of thinking of public breastfeeding as exhibitionism - I do not and have breastfed in public many times and support it wholeheartedly). There is an absence of boundaries involved.

Even the tea maker didn't think this was normal if she laughed when she told the tea drinker.

Sobeyondthehills · 07/07/2019 02:13

Breast milk is like any other bodily fluid. It is made from proteins and sugars drawn from your blood. Yes cows milk is the same but it is pasteurised before we drink it for the most part, also hopefully it is always consumed by those who have consented to it (please lets not get into an argument about the cows consenting, thats for another post). It is wrong. A lady in the US reportedly is doing 20yrs in prison after licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf, a similar type of action

There is a massive fucking difference right there

CockleburIck · 07/07/2019 02:17

Yes cows milk is the same but it is pasteurised before we drink it

Babies and young children drink unpasteurised breast milk! 🤔

Anyway this was a terrible thing to do. People need to know what they’re ingesting and be happy with it. I’m not vegan, but I find milk gross anyway.

A lady in the US reportedly is doing 20yrs in prison after licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf

I doubt that very much.

MissMoan · 07/07/2019 02:22

YANBU. What they did seems wrong to me.

Alexkate2468 · 07/07/2019 02:34

It was wrong to do that. You shouldn’t put anything into someone’s food/drink without their knowkedge.

However, the comments on here about breast milk are soooo out of whack and completely barmy.

Topseyt · 07/07/2019 02:47

Very wrong. Disgusting thing to do. Nobody should trick anyone else into eating or drinking something they wouldn't normally, or haven't consented to.

BrendasUmbrella · 07/07/2019 02:53

A lady in the US reportedly is doing 20yrs in prison after licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf

I doubt that very much.

Actually she has been arrested but it hasn't gone to trial yet, I think. She had the flu. She licked the icecream, put it back (meaning the icecream company had to do a recall for the whole area to be certain), and she also tried to get a challenge hashtag started for others to do the same thing. She'll probably get jail time.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 07/07/2019 03:05

It is so different to cows milk, they would be able to taste after the first sip.

mathanxiety · 07/07/2019 03:37

www.today.com/food/girl-licking-tub-blue-bell-ice-cream-viral-video-identified-t157794
Girl licks ice cream. Facing juvenile charges.

MarthasGinYard · 07/07/2019 03:49

Yanbu

Fucking grim

Booboostwo · 07/07/2019 04:00

If she thought her friend was likely to be disgusted or just not want to eat Brussels sprouts and hid some in his food for a prank, she would be wrong and it’s not a funny prank. Same goes for any other substance.

Also food preferences are entirely subjective. If she thought her friend was likely to find breast milk disgusting or just not want to drink it that’s all that is needed to make this wrong. There doesn’t need to be anything objectively wrong with breast milk, or Brussels sprouts for that matter, to make this wrong.

NauseousMum · 07/07/2019 07:31

Yanbu. This makes me think of my friend who'd deliberately mix in quorn saying it was all beef mince, despite it making a friend ill. My relative who was proud to use meat juices and get one 'over' her veggie cousin. And one of the idiots at uni who would always spike people not drinking drinks.

It's wrong to push something on someone without asking. Bloody ask first. Some people will happily grab a dash of their wife's milk for their coffee if run out, others would revile it.

Curiousdad18 · 07/07/2019 07:55

Totally missing point of thread but I grew up drinking unpasteurised unhomogenised milk. It tastes amazing!

Supermarket milk is white water in comparison.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 07/07/2019 08:07

Maybe a totally ignorant question but can hepatitis or hiv be carried in breast milk?
I vaguely remember hearing years ago that hiv positive mothers shouldn't bf.

I think it's gross to do this - feeding your own baby your own breast milk is fine, that's what it's for. Giving it to anyone else is not fine. Yes, it's food, but it's food for your own child. It's also a bodily fluid which hasn't been tested for disease.

Sandybval · 07/07/2019 08:10

Yes it can be transmitted, I believe the new guidance states if you are on medication then it is a lot less likely though. It is grim, the fact that it was done to be 'funny' shows that she thought it wasn't acceptable either really. Anything for a few views though.

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