I have been TTC for some time, and the whole thing has been in the context of my husband having had cancer a few years ago. A friend of mine, who is aware of all the background, is pregnant now. She knew that I had been waiting for some of my own health issues to settle to have IVF and that I have been having a hard time for years, but still sent me a picture of her scan to break the news to me.
I congratulated her and saw her once. I told her that I was due to have an IVF cycle in a few days, at last. Things didn’t work out with my treatment. I didn’t happen to see her or talk to her so she didn’t know the outcome. A couple of months later I got a private message full of details of her pregnancy: gender, due date, even whether or not she would have a C section, last day at work, etc. I congratulated her, but felt she should have been more sensitive. When she asked how I was I then told her that things hadn’t gone well for me. She insisted that we had a cup of tea, and “see each other face to face”. I did not reply.
Shortly after this, I got another message with an invitation to her baby shower “to celebrate the miracle of life”. I said I couldn’t come and she insisted that we see each other before the day. She is not getting the signals... or she does not care.
AIBU to think that she should have realised that it may not be the best time for me to see her and attend pregnancy-centred events? Should I have been more direct with her? I will clarify that she is not a super close friend, and often we didn’t see each other for many months due to being busy.
I have other pregnant friends, but they have been more sensitive or they are not aware of my struggles, and I don’t mind seeing them or being around young children, or even seeing the scans that they upload on social media. It is the targeted nature of her messages in the knowledge of my difficulties that troubles me.