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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried he will cheat on me tonight when out?

75 replies

tallyol · 06/07/2019 15:56

I know I shouldn't but only been seeing each other a little while.
He checks out women all the time,he's got the "chat" so to speak.
He is out tonight with his friend and I know I won't hear a peep from him.
Aibu ?

OP posts:
Pinktinker · 06/07/2019 15:57

Why are you with him if you don’t trust him?

ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 06/07/2019 15:58

If the way he is makes you uncomfortable, why are you with him.

The relationship wont get off the ground, if you dont trust him already

This is a sure sign, you probably should walk away now.

finnmcool · 06/07/2019 16:00

Why are you putting yourself in this position?
Find your self worth and walk away from this.

MyOpinionIsValid · 06/07/2019 16:00

He is out tonight with his friend and I know I won't hear a peep from him.

Rightly so, bad manner to be texing etc when your out with mates.

I sincerely doubt he's that irresistible that women will be dropping at this feet, desperate for his 'chat'

TBH you don't trust him, no trust then there is no relationship. Time to call it a day.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 06/07/2019 16:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too much work.
He sounds like a total loser.
There are nice fellas out there, you know.
Don't settle for the dregs.
Bin and next.

CanCanCanYouDoThe · 06/07/2019 16:00

He sounds like a twat if he’s blatantly checking out other women in front of you. I’d get rid OP.

DramaAlpaca · 06/07/2019 16:02

I don't understand why you'd want to be with a man who does this. Trust is everything in a relationship. Move on.

stillmoving · 06/07/2019 16:02

only been seeing each other a little while.

Don't get in any deeper.

VivienneHolt · 06/07/2019 16:04

Life is too short to throw yourself away on men you can’t trust, OP. Just ditch this loser.

BlueMerchant · 06/07/2019 16:05

Do you want to spend all your relationship worrying about if/when he's going out and then worrying he's lying if/when he returns?
It's really not worth it.
Move on to someone you feel you can trust.

Original poster
tallyol · 06/07/2019 16:06

I'm just feeling sorry for myself I think.
I had my gallbladder out yesterday and I'm in bed looking like total .....
He will be out with all the pretty girls
I would trust him if it wasn't for the checking girls out etc
I just think if he can do that when I'm there ....
Also he's mate tagged him on FB saying
"Pulling pants on "

OP posts:
ralphfromlordoftheflies · 06/07/2019 16:08

Fuck that. Dump him.

IncrediblySadToo · 06/07/2019 16:10

would trust him if it wasn't for the checking girls out etc

🤣🤣🤣

It he is doing that, so WHY are you with him?

he’s making you feel crap about yourself. Stop being so stupid, bin him off. Move on.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/07/2019 16:11

Sorry you are unwell Flowers
Why the heck are you with him? Is this how you want to live every time he goes out.
Sod that, cut and run.

HappyHammy · 06/07/2019 16:12

Hope you recover quickly. Why cant he stay in and take care of you. I wouldnt worry too much about him looking at girls. If he's thinks that he is irresistible to other women and you dont trust him then find yourself someone else.

colourlessgreenidea · 06/07/2019 16:15

I would trust him if it wasn't for the checking girls out etc

Well, exactly Confused

‘I’d trust him if his behaviour was trustworthy’ is essentially what you’ve said.

Tallgreenbottle · 06/07/2019 16:17

Are you dating or actually a couple, Op?

soberken · 06/07/2019 16:17

Just why would you put yourself through this!?

You had your gallbladder out yesterday and he's going out on the pull.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers

VenusTiger · 06/07/2019 16:21

Worrying about something that might not happen is completely pointless. Been there many years ago. If it’s going to happen, worrying won’t stop it. Making him feel on edge and “waiting for him to fail” is going to totally alienate him and he will eventually leave.
Relax and get on with things.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/07/2019 16:23

Want better for yourself OP.

Hope you feel better soon.

Yeahsurewhatever · 06/07/2019 16:23

He's checking out girls - in front of you?
Why are you with someone who is disrespectful?

You just had an operation and he's going out and you won't hear from him all night, not even just one check in? Why doesn't he care about you?

You're worrying about how you look and him being out with pretty girls?
You need to leave him, work on yourself and your own confidence and self esteem.
Respect yourself.
Then find a man that will respect you too.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 06/07/2019 16:25

With all due respect OP. he will either cheat or he won;t.The decision is out of your hands lovely lady.It will all be entirely on him.If he does be done with him.Do it fast and quick.There is nothing else you can do I am afraid.I would ring up one of your girlfriends,stick a dvd on and have a nice cuppa whilst you heal.You dont need to put yourself through the hassle or stress of what he is up to or not upto right now,Concentrate on you right now, and getting well.If he is daft enough to cheat let him go.If its a new relationship you have then it should be hearts and flowers time right now not this stress.Nothing or no one could come between you if it was right...its obviously not right or you wouldnt be feeling this way.If he has made you question trust then he is the wrong guy for you anyway ,Hope you feel better soon.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 06/07/2019 16:33

If someone wants to cheat, they will. They don't need to go clubbing for that.

That's not a relationship if you can't trust someone and are forever doubting them.

Original poster
tallyol · 06/07/2019 16:33

He was lovely to me yesterday.
Messaging all the time,checking I was ok.
Really concerned etc
He was texting when he woke up,texting in work
So I can't slag him off for that
It was his friend who wrote about the pulling pants but obviously it's in back of my mind.
He will totally forget about me tonight.
He has a 13 year old daughter and we went to a concert a few weeks ago ...she disappeared and he went to find her,came back with a pint ...he forgot to look for her.
When he is drunk ....everything goes out of his head.

OP posts:
finnmcool · 06/07/2019 16:39

It's easy to send messages, that's not lovely. Also, what isn't lovely, is checking other women out when you're together.
This is a new relationship, so why are you setting yourself up for a major head fuck?

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