Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried he will cheat on me tonight when out?

75 replies

tallyol · 06/07/2019 15:56

I know I shouldn't but only been seeing each other a little while.
He checks out women all the time,he's got the "chat" so to speak.
He is out tonight with his friend and I know I won't hear a peep from him.
Aibu ?

OP posts:
Original poster
tallyol · 06/07/2019 16:43

He is already a major head fuck tbh
Some days he hardly gives me time of day then other days he is all over me.
I don't know if I'm coming or going

OP posts:
bigchris · 06/07/2019 16:44

How old are you both?

bigchris · 06/07/2019 16:44

Going out with a single mate who is obviously on the pull
Forgetting to look for his daughter

Sounds a catch !

stillmoving · 06/07/2019 16:45

He is already a major head fuck tbh

You need to end this. Now.

tigerbear · 06/07/2019 16:46

Hmmm, sounds like someone I dated for 2 months or so.
First time I’d ever dated a ‘geezer’ type, with ‘the chat’. I was incredibly insecure the whole time. He was pretty good looking, worked out every night, was hell bent on getting a massive Instagram following (wtf, he was 45!), all chatty and smily with waitresses/bar staff if we were out.
He too would go on big nights out ‘with the lads’ and I’d also wonder what went on...

He LOVED himself and the flirting.
Don’t hang around and make yourself miserable OP, it’s not worth it.
Mine gave me herpes, then dumped me a week later 😬

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 06/07/2019 16:46

so he is a lousy drunk? Forgetting his daughter too? he is off out on the razz whist you are recovering from surgery .....OP what would you advise your best friend to do? He sounds from all you say a right prize pillock.

lyralalala · 06/07/2019 16:48

He has a 13 year old daughter and we went to a concert a few weeks ago ...she disappeared and he went to find her,came back with a pint ...he forgot to look for her

He put getting a pint ahead of his child.

He’s a shit dad.
He’s a shit boyfriend (being nice when you are ill doesn’t cancel out the obvious perving)

Why are you with him?

Original poster
tallyol · 06/07/2019 16:48

He is 38 and I'm 29.
I'm staying at my parents till I'm better so it would be pointless him coming over as all I'm doing is sleeping.
It's just today as he has plans..I've been forgot

OP posts:
TinselAndKnickers · 06/07/2019 16:49

she disappeared and he went to find her,came back with a pint

He forgot about his daughter - fantastic. Run away!

finnmcool · 06/07/2019 16:50

Oh get rid!

I say this with kindness... You need to have a think about why you accept such poor behaviour. You are worth the best man, not a twat who is already messing with you.

Do you really want to end up in a position where you are questioning yourself? Where you lose your self confidence? Where you are made to feel bad? And for what? Some inconsequential arsehole on an ego trip.

Find your self worth and bin him off now, before he gets any further under your skin and causes you damage. Being single is better than being head fucked.

Merryoldgoat · 06/07/2019 16:51

FFS have some self worth will you?

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 06/07/2019 16:51

The very fact that you have been forgot ,,,should tell you all you need to know.If you were that important to him he couldnt never mind wouldnt ever forget you...Sorry OP but he isnt ideal really is he? Has your dad ever forgot your mum? I would doubt it.Do yourself a favour and do your mental health a favour and move on,I think you deserve better.

AcrossthePond55 · 06/07/2019 16:52

^Messaging all the time,checking I was ok.
Really concerned etc
He was texting when he woke up,texting in work
So I can't slag him off for that^

I can. He couldn't be bothered to drop by? Or at least an actual phone call so you could hear his voice? A few months back my cousin was ill (D&V) and her BF works early (police). He managed to come by her house at 4 AM and leave a bouquet of flowers and a can of soup with a note on her porch on his way to work. He called her a couple of times during the day to check up on her, then dropped by after work for a few minutes to be sure she was OK. She's the type that wants to be alone when she's ill but it still meant a lot that he made the efforts check on her, personally, and not just sent some random text.

The obvious checking out girls is SO disrespectful. I don't expect my DH to be blind to a pretty face (I'm not blind to a handsome one!), but at least be discreet about it! I think in 35 years together I've 'caught' him a handful of times and given him the stink eye, upon which he apologizes. And if you're saying that he's 'chatting' to girls when you're there, that's way beyond the border!

And BTW, you can judge a man by his mates. So if his friend(s) are making comments like that, so (probably) is he.

Dump his sorry ass. You deserve much better.

Parker231 · 06/07/2019 16:53

If you’ve just had your gallbladder out, why isn’t he with you looking after you?

Sandybval · 06/07/2019 16:53

I honestly wouldn't bother, if someone can't always be arsed with you and you're worrying about what they're up to when they're out, do you really want to be dealing with that for x amount of years? He could have made an effort today knowing you had an op, even though you are at your parents there's things he could have said. Hope you're feeling better soon, but from experience, have a proper think about whether this is what you want.

EmeraldShamrock · 06/07/2019 16:54

If he cheats he cheats there is no point worrying about it, if you think he is that shallow what is the point of staying with him.
I never contact DP or him me on a night out, it is rare we get out, there is no need to check in.

TeaForTheWin · 06/07/2019 16:54

How old is he that he has a 13 old kid and is still getting told to 'put his pulling pants on'. Ick. A 30+ odd year old who is in a relationship shouldn't be going clubbing in the first place.
...omg just read that he is 38. Boak.

Get rid of him op, whether he actually cheats or not he is proper scummy.

HairyFloppins · 06/07/2019 16:55

TBH OP if he is the type to cheat he is going to cheat.

You can do better!

PositiveVibez · 06/07/2019 16:56

He has a 13 year old daughter and we went to a concert a few weeks ago ...she disappeared and he went to find her,came back with a pint ...he forgot to look for her

pulling pants on

He's nearly 40 ffs. He sounds like an utter arsehole.

Dump the loser.

Scarydinosaurs · 06/07/2019 16:57

He forgot to look for his 13 year old

He makes you feel shit by commenting on other women

He blows hot and cold

Just end it. You’re only going to feel more and more miserable as time goes on.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 06/07/2019 17:05

Whilst your writing this OP are you admiring your lovely flowers and get well card and a nice prezzie to cheer you up from him? You know the ones to make you feel valued and special to him that he bought because he cares so much for you.hates to see you ill and would do anything to put a smile on your face because he loves you so much?Cos thats what most nice,decent,honest,reliable guys would do without hesitation...

GroggyLegs · 06/07/2019 17:05

You're desperate to blame your legitimate doubts on yourself.

Horrible men prey on vulnerable women. He will not be good for you.

Rosielily · 06/07/2019 17:11

If he is going to cheat he is going to cheat - but how would you find out?!!

It seems you have so many doubts about him - so trust your gut and walk away now before you become more involved than you already are.

I hope you make a good recovery from your operation too!

mussolini9 · 06/07/2019 17:17

He has a 13 year old daughter and we went to a concert a few weeks ago ...she disappeared and he went to find her,came back with a pint ...he forgot to look for her.
When he is drunk ....everything goes out of his head.

Holy Moly, tallyol.
He is a seriously deficient father.
What makes you imagine that he is any less deficient as a boyfriend?

Do you think he is going to treat you better than he treats his own daughter? Why on earth are you lowering yourself to accept his appalling standards?

Apart from feeling insecure about his 'pulling pants', & maybe having to step in to look after his daughter when he is too drunk to remember he has one, what's in it for you from this shining paragon of manhood?

OneInAMillionYou · 06/07/2019 17:19

Another voice to the chorus saying just get rid of him, and do some work on yourself. Ask yourself what YOU want in a relationship and don't settle for less.
Tell him he's a bit too long in the tooth for 'lads' culture.

I wonder why he is not with the mother of his child? How that relationship ended will tell you a lot about him.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.