To say postnatal wards are the least conducive environment for a mum/baby recovery

[cheesemumma]

Currently sitting on a ward at 11.30pm. 6th night. No exaggeration I think in total I must have had 4 hours sleep. My physical and mental health is suffering. I'm going to have to talk to the Drs tomorrow and say we're going home whatever, as we're getting more ill staying. Its not just the other selfish fucker couples that decide to talk on phone /watch films/ have conversations with each other but the staff seem to not give 2 shits it's the middle of the night. I realise my tiredness and hormones are a big contributing factor but I can feel a full tantrum /meltdown coming on. It's also 10000000 degrees and the enviable screaming babies plus the fact you get 3 teeny portions of food a day so I'm really hungry as ebf.

There does also seem to be a "pregnancy isn't a disease" ethos which basically means postnatal women should be left to fend for themselves and be grateful for the pittance of care they do get

Exactly. Every time I turn my head they're squeezing in another new build.

But they never build another doctors surgery, school or hospital. It's ridiculous.

Roses excellent point about the 'fourth trimester ' giving birth is so traumatic for some women (myself included) it's just a given that women give birth,go home and get on with it after all we've been doing it for thousands of years and so many of us are left floundering as soon as we're dumped on the post natal wards.

Little bit worried now when I have my third I might just pack some snacks or something the food issue does annoy me a lot and I labour so fast I have precipate labour so I can be 0-10 in about 10 minutes and deliver I don't want to be left on my own again this time.

I will never ever forget the horrible cunt of a woman next door to me on the maternity ward when I was crowning my DD head as I didn't know I was pushing or ready to deliver as they left me on my own shouting over her curtain to mine to her own daughter in labour, " if she can't handle the contractions shouldn't of got pregnant"
I really wanted to leave and go home at this point. I was grateful when the midwife finally realised I was delivering and took me upstairs to deliver and my Nan went downstairs and said to the woman she's just given birth love that's why she was in agony good luck on your turn next felt so ashamed

I was very lucky with DD as i was in and out in 4.5 hrs - even then as soon as dd was delivered i was climbing the walls to get out, to the extent i topped up my wee to the "required level" to be discharged with water from the bathroom tap .
i spent the night on an maternity unit with a prisoner one night who had been admitted for observations, it was eye-openingly awful. We were told to keep quiet because the lady in the opposite room was "high risk" and being very closely monitored. i acutely remember her ringing her bell at about 3am. it rang and rang and rang, for so long that my colleague and i wondered if anyone would ever come. eventually i got up to find someone, i did find them - all sitting in their break room eating and watching the TV. Unbelievable.

i really do think that a campaign for the better treatment of post-natal women would be a perfect Mumsnet campagin, in the spirit of the Bounty campaign

YANBU

So sorry you're having such a hard time. Really hope you and your lovely baby are home soon.

Xx

how can they care for post-surgical patients with NO nursing qualification. of course they need to qualify as nurses first then cross qualify you need the foundation
The deterioration of a pregnant woman or one postpartum is so vastly different to general patients that they use a different assessment. So specialist knowledge is required, not nursing generally. Direct entry is accredited by the NMC same as nurses to ensure safe standards of education.

1996: DD1 was born in a major London teaching hospital. Someone actually got shot in main reception as we arrived... long long labour; the 3rd midwife pulled the drip out of my arm as she was so clumsy; there was food tbf, although disgusting; got discharged home 24 hours later although was borderline for a blood transfusion as seriously anaemic. No support with bf, no support at all with anything in fact.

DD2: 1999, county hospital: due to traumatic first time birth was treated with kid gloves. Kept in for 3 nights, 2 of which I had a 4 bay room to myself. My god, I bloody loved it!!

Just appals me that women who have been through a major physical and emotional experience are expected to put up and shut up - go and get your own food from the other end of the ward, FFS!

i really do think that a campaign for the better treatment of post-natal women would be a perfect Mumsnet campagin, in the spirit of the Bounty campaign

I agree, and it's not even things that would cost more money.

YADNBU. The 5 days I spent on a postnatal ward with my son were some of the worst of my life. I never slept a wink and was dealing with recovery from an emergency section, trying to establish feeding and a very poorly baby who didn't sleep, along with all the noise made by three other women and babies. We didn't realise until afterwards that we could have paid for a private room but my son was being checked so often by medical staff through the day and night that I still doubt we would have got any rest! Don't get me wrong, they did an amazing job and so forth but it was very hard. And there were also a few whose bedside manner left a lot to be desired, plus some general hygiene issues with the ward (cleanliness of bathroom facilities, I once waited nearly a whole day for someone to change bloodstained sheets on my bed which was the only place I could use to have my son lie with me etc etc, pretty vile ).

Oh yes and I was on my own so I had to leave my baby and drag myself to go and get my own meals elsewhere, utterly ridiculous, could hardly walk for the first two days!

pillowcase99 your story reminded me, I had a lady in the bed next to me with a huge family, at one point I counted 13 people go into her bay, and the curtain just kept bulging more and more until eventually it was against my bed- luckily I had lots of monitoring kit in my bay so I pushed one of those against the curtain until I got some space again!

This is why I forced myself to drink 2l of water after my second c section and pissed like a Trojan in order to get out after 26 hours. Fucking hell on earth those places. DH didn’t understand why I was practically suicidial when they missed me out for the breakfast round - hadn’t eaten more than a cereal bar in 48 hours.

The 5 days in with my twins was, im not joking, the worst time of my life and I had a room of my own - how one one of us didn’t end up dead after being left alone I. A room with a catheter and 2 babies 6 hours after a c section I will never know...

I hope you are out and recuperating.

Just remembered, the reason I'd been kept in was because the epidural had left me with one leg completely numb. I couldn't walk at all and still had a catheter because of that. Still was told to fetch my lunch from the lunch room. My dsil brought takeout when she came to visit us, thank god or I wouldn't have eaten at all that day.

I kept on hoping that I would die, it was that bad, on my last night I managed to get an hours sleep before being woken to have my blood pressure taken, I'm embarrassed to say I wasn't very polite to the midwife, I might have told her to f@#$ off. Ds wouldn't stop screaming, I was knackered to the point I was hallucinating, I hadn't had anything proper to eat for 6 days & the midwife wrote in my notes that I was being mardy & tearful. I'd have liked to have seen her after 6 nights with virtually no sleep or food, major surgery, nearly dying & a new baby. It's time the whole system was rewritten & the standards written by the women who go through the service, not some penpusher who knows nothing except what is written in training manuals.

Have you asked if you can move? I could t cope with the loud crazy chick in the bay a couple beds down from me, I was crying with exhaustion and couple bare her anymore. My husband explained and asked if there was anywhere else I could be. They moved me to the next room and there was only 2 other really quiet woman i there, it was bliss! Why they had one full to the brim and one empty I don't know!

I get that the staff have to work and there are visitors and how ever many babies that cry or whatever but the patients can be right araeholes and ruin it for everyone

I was on a room with other 4 other mums, was great for my healing as I stayed in bed most the time and didn't need to move but the nights were hard as it was so loud it would wake up my baby!

There were 7 babies in my ward plus partners. It was 32 degrees when my don was born. It was so hot. The cubicles were tiny. Had to climb rover the suitcase to get out. At least 4 random men saw my tits. We got so little help. People came round to tick boxes but no one really helped. There were st least two empty wards. It would have made so much difference if they’d spread us out a bit. Actually considering home birth next time.

They’re hell for staff to work in too. Please don’t think we enjoy sweating to death for 12 hours in thick uniforms, whilst being spoken to like shit.

It really is hideous, I would have crawled over broken glass to get out the first time. My daughter had also lost a lot of weight and they weren't happy with her. I gave her a bottle, said what could I be doing differently at home and left. And successfully carried in breast feeding.

Oh my god I really hope u get home soon. It is pure hell, worse than the labour X 100! I was in for 6 days 5 nights.

I was like a broken woman when I got home. I think I had about 4 hours sleep in my whole time there!

I don't know where these hospitals are with private rooms but I don't think there are any in Scotland! I'd pay a fortune to get my own room.

Well as you probably haven't just given birth zebraa may I ask what you are doing to advocate for better conditions please? Have you ever spoken up about the heat, lack of food etc.

Do you comprehend that tempers fray when people are exhausted and in pain. I was spoken to like shit by several midwives and laughed at. I don't take that sort of shit anymore. I have been round the block too many times so no midwives probably wouldn't like me now because I'd call you out on the lack of care and any hint of anything discourteous. But I bet I'd get decent care, squeaky wheel and all that.

But 10/10 for empathy - it says rather a lot.

@shelbybear I had a private room in Scotland. And my sister gave birth in a hospital where it was all private rooms, also Scotland.

I have to keep reminding myself I probably won't get a private room this time round and prepare myself for the ward hell.

Op how are things going now?
Did you get out for a walk?

Postnatal wards are hell. Under staffed, under funded and the only place where a patient is expected to care for another patient. .
However I'm of the view that more auxiliary nurses or even carers would make a world of difference. We don't need fully qualified MWs to lift a baby, or change nappies to help poorly mums.
Males 24/7 on female wards is not the answer. Not fair on the dignity of other females, safeguarding issues for vunerable women and infants. And not every mum would be able to have dad there, other children, work commitments. So more staff is required.

Some body made comment about mum's not being ill, actually if mum wasn't poorly she'd probably be sent home.