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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse a sleepover with Australian relatives?

69 replies

1478414763g · 05/07/2019 15:51

DH’s cousins are over visiting from Australia for a month, they’ve been here a week so far. His cousin and his wife are lovely and they have a 9 year old ds, 6 months older than our dd.

The problem is they have invited dd for a sleepover tomorrow night. DH says she should go but I don’t feel comfortable with this. DH and his family are not close to his Australian family, before they announced their visit this summer the last anyone spoke to them was 3 years ago and then 2 years before that. I appreciate these people are family but we don’t know them. AIBU to politely decline the sleepover?

OP posts:
MyOpinionIsValid · 05/07/2019 15:52

What do you think will happen?

sonjadog · 05/07/2019 15:53

What are you worried about?

MrsFionaCharming · 05/07/2019 15:54

Can you tell them that DD doesn’t like being away overnight, and invite him to sleep over yours instead?

Original poster
1478414763g · 05/07/2019 15:56

I don’t know what I think will happen, realistically nothing. I wouldn’t send her to sleep at a stranger’s house, so why would it be ok to send her to relatives we don’t know?

OP posts:
BarrenFieldofFucks · 05/07/2019 16:02

I probably wouldn't unless the kids had been hanging out for a few days and we're getting on really well. My child of a similar age wouldn't want to stay with relative strangers.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/07/2019 16:05

I wouldn’t. You feel how you feel, she’s only 9 and you barely know them from Adam and Eve.

Sicario · 05/07/2019 16:05

Trust your instincts. If you're uncomfortable with it, then it's a NO.

Billballbaggins · 05/07/2019 16:06

I wouldn’t allow it, they’re strangers family or not.

Summertimeatthebeach · 05/07/2019 16:06

What has your dc said about it?

itslateandiminmypyjamas · 05/07/2019 16:07

I wouldn't send my kids to strangers just because we were related some how.

TremblingFanjo · 05/07/2019 16:08

Perhaps they know it's an odd idea and are hoping you say it'd be better for your DD if their DD came to yours (which would be my suggestion anyway) and ping they get a night off?

TinselTimes · 05/07/2019 16:14

I wouldn’t send her. You don’t know them.

TixieLix · 05/07/2019 16:17

I wouldn't send my DD to stay overnight with a family she's only known for a week. Would she even want to do this? As you say it's like sending her to stay with relative strangers. Where are they even staying, are they in a hotel?

Chamomileteaplease · 05/07/2019 16:19

I wouldn't - I mean, why would your DD want to spend the night with people she barely knows???

Apolloanddaphne · 05/07/2019 16:24

If it were my DD I would ask her if she would like to go and if she said she would I would let her. She will then get to know her relatives much better. If she isn't keen then she doesn't need to go. If she goes make sure she is allowed to call you if she is worried about anything.

Etino · 05/07/2019 16:29

Mine would all have wanted to go and I’ve have waved them off happily!

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2019 16:32

The thing is, your dd is going to start getting invited on lots of sleepovers from now onwards (in fact around my way it started around 6yo), and for almost all the parents, you don't get to know them that well. Maybe just a few play dates, a few coffees, lots of hellos and small talk at the school gates.

NoSauce · 05/07/2019 16:35

I would also run it by DD and if she wanted to go I would be ok. You’ve not seen them in the last 3 years because they live in Australia! Hardly the same as if they lived in the next town and you hadn’t seen them in all that time. You say yourself that they’re lovely I bet it would be a really memory for your DD to have.

GabriellaMontez · 05/07/2019 16:36

I can't imagine why you'd send a 9 year old to have a sleepover with strangers. Why?

Would she want to? Not that I'd give her the choice.

By the way. My Dd has been invited to one sleepover. She's 10. Not sure this is relevant though.

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 16:38

I think it’s up to her- neither of mine would have wanted to go but I know lots of kids who would.

Proseccoinamug · 05/07/2019 16:39

My dd if a similar age would want to go if she was getting on well with the other child. And tbh I would let her. You probably know them just as well as other parents in dd’s class

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 16:41

of course YANBU

It's very unlikely anything negative will ever happen. It's your child though, why risk it.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2019 16:52

Maybe have their child over to you instead?

northerngirl2012 · 05/07/2019 16:54

You’re overthinking it. If she wants to go, great let her. If she doesn’t politely decline & day she’s shy.

StroppyWoman · 05/07/2019 16:57

Jeez, I'm out of step.
I think you're being bonkers.
Of course I'd agree to it if my child wanted to go. Mine have had loads of sleepovers with friends where I don't know the parents well and invited kids back to stay here when the parents don't know me well. A nodding acquaintance in a school yard ans swapping phone numbers is fine.

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