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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse a sleepover with Australian relatives?

69 replies

1478414763g · 05/07/2019 15:51

DH’s cousins are over visiting from Australia for a month, they’ve been here a week so far. His cousin and his wife are lovely and they have a 9 year old ds, 6 months older than our dd.

The problem is they have invited dd for a sleepover tomorrow night. DH says she should go but I don’t feel comfortable with this. DH and his family are not close to his Australian family, before they announced their visit this summer the last anyone spoke to them was 3 years ago and then 2 years before that. I appreciate these people are family but we don’t know them. AIBU to politely decline the sleepover?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/07/2019 16:58

Have you spent any time with them at all while they've been here 9i.e. have the kids been hanging out and playing this week) or are they literally like strangers to her?

Does she want to go?

Instagran · 05/07/2019 16:58

What does your dd want to do? If she wants to go I'd let her go. Are they close by so you can easily get her if she's not happy?

MauritiusNext · 05/07/2019 17:09

This reply has been deleted

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BrokenWing · 05/07/2019 17:11

Tell them she is too young/nervous of people she doesn't know well to sleep over, but why don't you all come over for takeaway/drink/movie instead as you'd all love to spend more time with them.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2019 17:12

Why risk it?
Because like many things in life; you weigh up the risk, and compare that to the fun to be had, and then make a decision.
There are so many risks we take every day, walking anywhere, driving anywhere, going on a roller coaster, doing trampolining, going swimming; but we take these risks because the alternative is to sit at home doing nothing; which carries its own risk.

eddielizzard · 05/07/2019 17:15

I wouldn't. I don't personally understand sleepovers. No proper sleep happens and everyone just ends up grumpy. Spend the afternoon at the park together. Job done.

Tucobenedicto · 05/07/2019 17:16

STROPPYWOMAN..........
GET LOST

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2019 17:19

To explain to those who don't know about sleepovers....
They are, without doubt, the best fun either of my dds (8&10) ever have. They absolutely love them, beg for them. They will be their memories when they're older, I'm sure of that. It's what they choose on their birthdays, as do all their friends.
Of course not everyone likes them, but for some, they're awesome.

Ragwort · 05/07/2019 17:24

Does your DD want to go?

My DS loved going on sleepovers & would have been delighted to have the chance to spend more time with relatives.

I am pretty relaxed about these sorts of things, never forget when my DH’s friend was dating a single mum, I had never met the woman, she arrived with her DS (who obviously we’d never met either) & left him at our house for a sleepover, can’t remember exactly why she & her BF didn’t come back for the night (probably booked into a hotel for a night of passion Wink), I felt very sorry for the child but he seemed happy enough at our house for the night Confused.

womaninthedark · 05/07/2019 17:31

You are not overthinking.
Do not allowed your child a sleepover with strangers. If it feels wrong to you, don't do it.

BackforGood · 05/07/2019 17:32

If my dc wanted to go, I'd wave her off happily.
Your dh has presumably known his cousin all his life ?
Hardly ;strangers'. Much more known than parents of school friends.

NoSauce · 05/07/2019 17:33

Your DD has met them last time they were over, yes? She’s met them this time too?

MyDcAreMarvel · 05/07/2019 17:35

You are being ridiculous they are family and kids get close in a day!

MauritiusNext · 05/07/2019 17:38

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flumpybear · 05/07/2019 17:38

Doubtful I'd send her either - if perhaps say she wakes at night and will panic in sleep state where mum and dad are

cccameron · 05/07/2019 18:03

You might not know them but your DH does. It's his cousin FFS. Does your dd want to go? Does she get on well with her cousin? Sounds like a lovely thing for her to do, especially as they don't get to see much of each other

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 18:05

You are being ridiculous they are family and kids get close in a day!

because being family is a sure way to know there won't be any issue, isn't it. Oh, wait...

MyOpinionIsValid · 05/07/2019 18:19

I love the irony …

OP I simply cant send my child to sleep over with strangers

Usual response - Maybe have their child over to you instead?

Ridiculous response. Utterly stupid. They'll still be ""strangers"".

soberfabulous · 05/07/2019 18:20

They are essentially strangers, your husband is hardly close to them by the sound of it.

YANBU.

MarthasGinYard · 05/07/2019 18:25

So in the week they have been over has your Dd enjoyed their company?

Does she want to go?

Personally if they are family you have met and the girls get on I'd have no problem with this.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2019 18:25

@MyOpinionIsValid
The op hasn't clarified why she doesn't want her dd to go. It could be because she and the 9 yo are strangers, or more likely it's because the op doesn't know the parents well enough, ie are they paedophiles? By having their dc over to their house, this cancels out the risk of the latter.

BarbarianMum · 05/07/2019 18:49

So how long do you have to know somebody to know they're not a paedophile?

cccameron · 05/07/2019 18:50

I think that you know YABU and if you don't get a handle on your anxiety then this will be one of a long list of fun things your dd will miss out on because of it.

Original poster
1478414763g · 05/07/2019 18:54

OK DD has said she would like to go. We spent the afternoon together today, that’s all the contact the DCs have had. Also to clarify, none of us have actually met before. We have no connection to them apart from my DH and DD share the same blood. This feels different to a school friend because at least the kids will know each other and other parents would know the parents so there would be some connection!

OP posts:
Original poster
1478414763g · 05/07/2019 18:55

Also I’m not sure why I’m against it, it’s more a feeling than an actual issue.

OP posts:
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