to feel sick that my ex is now married? *warning, discussion of exes like of 'jailbait' and young girls*

[namechange6890]

I split up with my ex partner because I found his 'primejailbait' account. This site thankfully doesn't exist anymore. He had numerous photos on there of young girls, fully clothes but in skimpy outfits. Scarily, these had been stolen from peoples facebooks by the looks of things and were all of girls in dancing outfits, bikinis on the beach etc. He had a thing for shiny materials hence. The girls he was looking at were young, in the range of 4-8.

Shockingly, the police weren't interested as the images hadn't been downloaded and weren't illegal as the children were fully clothed. I left him. Felt sick I had been with him for so long. Told very few people and confided in those I trusted and put it to the back of my mind as there was absolutely zero I could do.

He's now married. I've just seen on Facebook as a mutual friend left a congrats message. There are comments on there about how they'll be having babies soon and I feel sick.

I don't know how to get rid of this horrible feeling and even though I did all I could to get the police involved before, I wish I could've done more.

She probably has no clue that her husband is in to this shit.

Do I just put it out of my mind and carry on with life?

I feel sick

Anyone there? Not sure what I'm looking for. I feel horrible.

i would somehow inform the wife.

Oh that's awful. I don't know what the answer is... I think I would try to inform his current wife. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do. Hopefully someone will come along with better suggestions. Awful you had to go through that though.

I would also inform the wife anonymously. She deserves to know before she has children with this monster.

@bluebell34567 I thought about it. It would be very obvious it was me. I have no proof. I feel like I would want to know though if it was be.

*me

I don't think I ever dealt with it. It is awful isn't it? Never thought of it as something I had 'been through' - I blocked it out.

I feel so ill thinking about it.

well police didnt take it seriously, you told them, so it isnt your fault.
but through friends, someway, i would inform her.

it will be very risky for you though.

I didn't even know he was in a relationship with someone else. I'm going to have to tell her. I just need to work out how.

the friends you confided to, what do they say?

If I tell her he will know it was me. I have no proof. He could get me done for it technically. For harassment even maybe. I'm so stressed out by it.

@bluebell34567 not much. Gave me a hug. Told me there was nothing more I could do. Sickened that the police couldn't do anything.

can you talk to police again? express your concerns about her.

They didn't even take a report. I could contact the police but what would they realistically do?

'Some anonymous woman has told me without any proof whatsoever that your husband is a paedophile, just thought we would let you know'

maybe i am just imagining but they would keep tabs on him without him knowing.

She needs to know and you'll feel absolved of responsibility if you tell her. Obviously he would know it was you and you'd have to deal with potential repercussions and there's always the chance that he'll deny it.

I say listen to your moral compass.

just talk to them anonymously and get rid of this responsibility. there is not much you can do other than that i guess.

There's an organisation that might be able to give you some useful advice. They come recommended by professionals working in this field and they have a helpline you can call, anonymously if you want

www.stopitnow.org.uk/

Unless you have proof I think your wasting your time telling her, all your do is potentially put yourself in a risky situation if the ex turns on you?

Think about it if you were in a relationship and some ex appeared just after you’d got married/were happy etc and said his a paedophiie with no proof would you believe them over the man you love? Honestly?

Not surprised the police couldn’t help as doesn’t sound like a crime was actually committed?? Not saying it’s not a bloody odd but is having them photos an actual crime?

And if he ever divorced this woman do I just keep chasing down every woman he ever dates? Such a head fuck.

@P1nkHeartLovesCake exactly. You are completely right. No crime was committed but he is clearly a paedophilie. It's awful.

Thank you @DaffodilSunshine

police didnt see it serious, what can you do? dont throw yourself to fire.

Police thought it was serious and they knew he was clearly a paedophilie. They actually said to me that this isn't ok behaviour but that they are there to deal with things that are illegal and unless I can prove a crime has been committed, they can't do anything. The man I talked to was genuinely sorry and hated that there was nothing he could do.

you did your duty by going to police before.